


Who Tells Your Story

by MamaRamen



Series: To Be Alive Right Now [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Foster Family, Anxiety, Bisexual Alexander Hamilton, F/F, F/M, Foster Care, Gay Hercules, Gay John Laurens, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Panic Attacks, Past Rape/Non-con, non-binary Lafayette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2019-08-29 16:25:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 35
Words: 64,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16747480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MamaRamen/pseuds/MamaRamen
Summary: Alex is an orphan refugee from the small island of Nevis. He was sent to the US when he was 12 and has bounced around homes in the foster system since he got there. He ends up fostered by the Washington's. He struggles to make heads or tails in the first stable environment he's been given since his mother passed away when he was 8. In this story he learns how to accept the love and help he's given. (TW: he was abused in a few of his homes, in one in particular he was forced into going along with a lot of sexual abuse.)





	1. A Rainy Afternoon And A Gravel Driveway

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever fic so pleasssseeee go easy on me! I've never written a full story like this before so please excuse my terrible story telling!!!! I wanted to write this as practice so I can write my book series

This story starts on a cold November afternoon in a forest green car driving down a freshly rained on road heading towards upstate New York. A social worker named Brian Chase, a man who was stressed constantly, grips the steering wheel nervously and glances in the rear view mirror to check on the thin pale teen occupying the back seat. Alexander Hamilton had been in seven homes since Mr. Chase took over for the last social worker that had been in charge of the boy’s case. The ever-changing environment had definitely taken it's toll on the boy. His tired-seeming eyes meet with the man's for a split second before Alex's eyes flick downward.

“Now Alex” the man starts. “I know you hate starting over, but I need to make this very clear. I worked very hard to get you into this home. I had to cash in a favor from an old friend of mine.”

Alex rolls his eyes. _Another place to get kicked out of._ He thought.

“It wasn’t easy to persuade them to take in another foster child. They weren't too impressed with your history either.”

Alex bit back an argument on how some of it wasn't his fault and turned his attention to picking at the tattered hem of his dark blue hoodie. He’d had the hoodie since his first foster home; The Calligan's. It was the only thing they’d let him keep. Although messing with the fabric caused his sore scraped up hands to ache, it was all he could do to keep his mind from dwelling on how they had showered him with gifts when he first got there and just as quickly took it away.

“I talked you up quite a bit young man so you best be thankful. This is a great opportunity and the Washington’s are good people.”

It wasn’t the first time Alex had heard a sentence like that from Mr.Chase.

“It’s going to be a long ride so get comfy and try not to worry. I’m sure as long as you behave you will find this new home to be good.” Mr.Chase stated as he checked on Alex through the mirror once more.

Alex tried his best to appreciate the man giving an effort to say something comforting. However, it wasn’t. Alex had been in some very bad homes and each time it got worse. He couldn’t help but imagine what horrors awaited him just past the front door of a home his social worker swore by. Not that he cared. He would have to face them all the same. He had to. This was his last chance to stay out of another group home.

Alex shuddered at the thought.

He can do this. He can deal with whatever they dish out. He only had two years and two months until he was 18. Letting out a sigh, he reaches for the gray stained backpack accompanying him on the seat to his left. It was almost as tattered as the jacket. He zips it open and pulls out his notebook and a pen. He whips it open, flipping through the pages until he finds the first empty one he came across and begins writing.

About an hour goes by before he gets interrupted by Mr.Chase clearing his throat.

“Alex.” The mans says as he pulls the car to a stop.

Alex finishes writing the last few words of the sentence he had been working on before closing the notebook and looking up at Mr.Chase.

“We’re here. Put your things away.” The social worker says whilst putting the car in park and taking the keys from the ignition.

Alex does as he is told but just as he grabs the handle of the car door, Mr.Chase turns toward the teenager and speaks up.

“Before we get out I want to remind you if you can’t make this work I’ll have no choice but to place you in another group home.” He warns.

Alex tenses slightly at the notion. “Yes sir, I’m aware.” The boy retorts. _I’ve already reminded myself, you **moron**._ He scoffs to himself.

“Good.” Mr.Chase states before exiting the car.

Alex braces himself as he pulls the handle then pushes the door open. The cold wind of the outside causing shivers to rack through his body. Alex bites his chapped lips to hide the chattering of his teeth, causing it to split and Alex winced at the pain. His jacket didn’t do much in the way of warmth. It was thin and old from years of use. Not that it mattered, He was used to being cold. He hikes his backpack up onto his shoulder as he makes his way over to Mr.Chase. It was only now that Alex took the time to take in his surroundings. The neighbor was nice, too nice. It was by far the most ritzy area he had ever been in. Glamorous over-sized houses with impeccably sized yards and tall flourishing London plane trees lined the road. There had to be a mistake, was this really the right area? His eyes followed along the nearby white picket fences while taking care to stay close behind his social worker.  
His gaze was caught by the gravel road leading in an arch through the yard. At the farthest part of the path, a large white house stood tall. The lawn to the sides of the house was covered in lush green grass. The scene had felt almost surreal to Alex.  
'It's too perfect.' he decided. Soon enough they were at the large brown polished wooden double doors that decorated the entrance to the home.

"Alex." Mr.Chase starts.

Alex doesn't look up at him, just tilts his head toward the man to show he's listening.

"One last thing before I send you off, I need you to promise that you won't pick fights or cause any trouble for them. They are doing you a favor taking you in." The man states.

'They'll probably make sure I know that.' Alex tells himself. "Yes sir." he replies bitterly.  
Mr.Chase gives a small but relieved sigh then extends his arm and rings the doorbell.

 _I can do this._ Alex reminds himself once more tightening his hold on the backpack strap.

A few moments go by before one of the doors creak open. Alex hesitantly looks up at the couple standing in the doorway. He sees a woman with a kind face first. She was quite beautiful and judging by her kitten heels and elegant beige skirt suit, Alex could tell she was a career woman. The way she held herself came across as though she exudes confidence. Her hair was done up in a short wavy bob parted on the side and her makeup was flawless. Alex glanced up at her dark skinned face to get a good read on her and as he did so, the woman gave him a welcoming smile. The warmth in her face reminded him so much of his mother. Just as he was about to become lost in the mild familiarity of her presence, Alex noticed the man standing to her right.  
He tensed at the sight of him. He was dark skinned but lighter than the woman. Taller than average and bald. His build was thick but toned. Alex could tell the man was very strong and that worried him. Still, something in his face seemed humble. He was well groomed and wearing a button up shirt and slacks that Alex could definitely see was ironed so carefully that he could have sword the shirt didn't have a single wrinkle in it.

 _Shit._ Alex thought. _They definitely care about appearances._ He bit his lip anxiously causing it to open once again. He fought himself not to wince at the mild pain it brought.

"Brian! It's wonderful to see you!" the woman exclaimed taking a step forward and throwing her arms around Mr.Chase.

"You as well Mrs.Washington!" Mr.Chase replied enthusiastically whilst returning the embrace.  
After the woman pulled away, The man extends an open hand toward the social worker.

"Mr.Chase, it's nice to see you made the trip alright." He says in a deep voice.

"Senator Washington, yes yes we made it just fine." Mr.Chase replies taking the hand and giving it just a bit too much of a shake.

This caught Alex's attention. _Wait... senator?_  he thought in disbelief. _Now I know they definitely care about appearances._

"So this must be Alexander? We've heard a lot about you and we're very excited to have you stay with us." The man says with his almost booming voice, giving Alex a look over with a smile. Something in his eyes felt like they were looking straight through him.

Alex couldn't stop himself from cringing at the use of his full name. He could do no more than nod in reply never meeting the tall man's gaze. Sensing the tension from the boy, the woman speaks up to take the attention off him.

"It's very nice to meet you Alexander, my name is Martha, and this here is my husband George." She states in a bubbly but calm voice.

Alex cringed once again. "Nice to meet you..." he forces out. He wanted to correct them but he promised Mr.Chase he wouldn't cause problems. So, he bit down on his lip to focus on the pain instead. Just then a gust of wind blew past giving Alexander another wrack of shivers.

"Oh dear! The poor boy is cold! George, where are our manners? Please come in you two, we'll make you some hot cocoa to warm you up." Martha commanded with a worried expression.

"So sorry but I actually have matters to attend to. I'll have to part ways here and leave Alex in your care." Mr.chase said reluctantly. "It was quite nice to see the both of you again. I do hope we can catch up again soon." He turned to Alex and spoke. "And Alex, remember what we talked about okay?"

After exchanging pleasantries, the social worker was off. Alex could feel nothing but anxiety as he watched the forest green car drive down the road and disappear from view.  
_So that's it_  he thought walking into the way-too-big house. _I'm on my own from here_


	2. A Lock On The Door

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter Alex get's a look at his new environment. George gets some red flags from Alex.

  
The inside of the Washington’s home was very different to what Alex had expected. It was a bit clutter-y and looked like a family might actually live there. The difference in atmosphere was like night and day. As soon as he stepped into the entry way, Alex felt the warmth of it all wrap around him like a blanket. Martha talked excitedly but mostly to herself. His eyes darted around the house, taking in the domestic feeling it gave him.

“What do you think Alex?” Martha questioned.

Alex snapped his attention toward the woman.

“O-oh… um…” he stammered, trying to recall what she was saying. The worry in his face must have been easy to spot since Martha repeated herself after flashing a look he couldn’t quite decipher.

“I was saying we were just about to get lunch if you’d like to join us once you get your things settled.”

Alex felt concerned. What would he have to do to repay them for the meal? Maybe they expect him to clean seeing the state of the house. It wasn’t dirty but it could use some tidying up. Maybe it was something else. Whatever the case, it wasn’t something he could sit and ponder on. If he was going to make it the next two years, he had to go along with anything they suggested.

“I don’t mind ma’am.” He replied.

“Then it’s settled. George will show you to the room while I bring the car around. It’s currently in our garage behind the house so it’ll take me a few minutes.” She turned on the balls of her feet and placed a kiss on George’s cheek before striding off down a hallway.

“Now that we have a moment to ourselves, I would like to have a small chat.” George’s voice sent a chill through Alex’s spine. He tensed at the mention of being alone with the man. George didn’t seem to notice or if he didn’t, he pretended not to. Either way he started down the hall opposite of where Martha had disappeared. Alex followed behind but not too close.

 _What kind of chat?_ Alex wondered. _Maybe he's going to make me earn my meal?_

“I want to go over house rules and our schedules. You’ll be expected to attend classes with our son Gilbert. He is out with some friends at the moment but he will be home later before dinner.” George says.

Now that he mentioned it, he had completely forgotten about the other foster son they cared for. This made him wonder what kind of boy he was. Hopefully he wasn't too hard to get along with.

“Weekends are free time, just let us know what your plans are so we can properly accommodate for it." The man continues.

They take a turn to head up a flight of stairs. Alex can feel the anxiety creeping on him with every cautious step up. He didn't like the increasing distance between him and the front door. As they get to the second floor George speaks up once again.

"We don't have much in the way of actual rules for this household, but one thing I need to make clear; if you come across an issue you feel as though you cannot solve, I want you to feel free to approach us. We are not against you. Martha and I are here to help"

Alex couldn't help but silently distrust the sincerity of that. No one ever actually cared before so why would they be any different? Not that he needed them to care. He was used to handling things by himself anyway.George stops in front of the second door on the left and turns to face Alex. This made the boy tense up the muscles he hadn't realized loosened over the course of their walk. He looked at the man in the eyes unconsciously before pulling his gaze to the hand that reached for the knob. The door creaked open and George made a motion for Alex to enter the room. Alex knew better. He didn't budge, instead gripping the strap of his backpack tight. He looked back at the man with a face of panic.

_This is it. I'm earning my keep now._

"Alex, are you alright son?" George asked.

 _don't call me son..._ Alex snapped to himself.

George took a step forward and placed a hand on Alex's shoulder causing the boy to flinch hard and back into the wall behind him. The man shot the boy a worried but questioning look before composing himself.

"When you are ready, we will be waiting in the entry room. Take all the time you need to settle in." He hurried past Alex, quickly disappearing down the stairs.

Alex could feel himself deflating a little and hurried into the room. He quietly shut the door and locked it. He pressed his forehead against the door as he felt the stress start to dissolve. The tension in his shoulders relaxing ever so slightly. He had no proof that Mr.Washington would make him do those kinds of things; However he also had no proof that he wouldn't. He had been made to do them before but for now, he thanked the heavens for giving him a lock. He turned around and relaxed against the door, sliding down until he was on the floor. He looked into the room he was given and noticed the desk first. Immediately he rushes too it, practically jumping off the floor. He hauls the backpack from his shoulder to the desk. He inspects the desk, opening the drawers, tracing his fingers over the desk lamp placed on the right side.  
'I have a desk, a real desk all for myself!' he gleams with a satisfied grin spreading across his face. It had been a while since he had gotten his own room, let alone a whole desk! He turns his attention out to the rest of the room. His eyes flickering over to the closet then to the bed.  
'Oh right. The bed.'  
He walks over to it and lightly brushes his fingers along the comforter. It was nice just like everything there. He gently climbs on, careful not to disturb the covers, and lays on his back. Alex felt himself sink into the bed. It was most likely the comfiest bed he ever had the pleasure of laying on. His eyes fluttered shut, his body released any remaining tension it had.  
'Okay... let's count the things we are thankful to have. A lock, a desk, and a bed fit for a king.' It wasn't a bad start to the home. He hadn't been made to do anything unpleasant, he had his own room. He prayed to himself it didn't become unpleasant. Suddenly a growl escaped from his stomach. 'Looks like it's time to leave my sanctuary.' he thought with frustration. Quickly hopping off the bed, he turned to face it and smoothed out any wrinkles he saw. He headed toward the door and reached for the handle.  
'I can do this' he thought, taking a deep breath before unlocking the door and as quietly as he could, pulled the door open. Alex peaked out and when he saw the coast was clear, stepped out into the hall. He made his way to the stairs and down the hall. Keeping his steps as silent as possible. When he got to the end of the hall, he could hear hushed voices conversing among themselves.

"You didn't see it Martha, the way he looked at me. He looked so small and scared." Alex knew for a fact George was talking about him.

"Well for now let's just take it slow and let him adjust. He's been in so many homes, I can only imagine he's been through a lot." Martha sounded so sweet. Alex was reminded of his Mother once again. How she had the heart of an angel and always cared way too much. He missed her so much.

"Yeah I know. Taking him out for a meal is the least we can do for him at the moment. I still want to sit down and talk with him at some point." He heard George say.

 _Shit... I can't let them know I was eavesdropping..._  Alex silently crept back a few steps before walking a little heavy down to the end of the hall and into the entry room. He looked over at the Washington's and dug his hands into his jacket pockets.

"Alex!" Martha said smiling brightly at him. "Are you ready to go sweetie? Have you settled in alright?" She asked as if they hadn't just been discussing him.

"Yes ma'am." He replied simply. Just then another growl escaped his stomach. He could feel his face go red and lowered his gaze to his feet.

"Sounds like it's just about time too." Martha chuckled.

"When was the last time you've eaten, son?" George was smiling but Alex could see a tinge of worry behind it.

Alex shifted under his gaze and darted his eyes around the room. When was the last time? He tried to remember but nothing came to mind. "I'm not sure, sir. Sometime yesterday..." he said meekly.

The indecipherable look was back on Martha's face but this time George wore it too. Martha quickly changed the subject to avoid any awkward silence. "Well, why are we waiting here then? Let's get going!"

George stood from the couch and followed Martha out the front door. Alex kept his distance but followed as well. The three made their way down the porch steps and to the car. Alex look at the vehicle with wide eyes. It was a really nice car. Not a spot nor speck on the windshield and when Martha opened the passenger side door to the back seat he felt himself stiffen. The inside was just as spotless. Surely they didn’t expect him to climb in? He looked down at himself and took in the sight. He was filthy, tattered. They were just as spick and span as the car. He was so far from their level it made his throat feel tight and he filled up with shame. What if they get mad at him for making the car dirty?

“Alexander honey?” She flashed that undecipherable face once more. “What’s the matter sweetie? Is there not enough room? I can move my seat forward if you would like.” George looked on front the drivers side brows furrowed with worry.

Alex shook his head. “It’s… it’s not that ma’am.” He could barely get the words out, his throat threatening to tight with every syllable.

Martha glides effortlessly over to him. She slowly places a hand on his shoulder and crouches down until she’s at eye level with the teen. “Please Alexander, I want to know what’s wrong.”

There it is. There’s the comfort and familiarity of his mother again. He saw so much of her in Mrs.Washington.

“I don’t want to get the car dirty ma’am…” he confessed. His voice small and practically trembling.

Martha hadn’t got upset, she just simply smiled warmly and rubbed her thumb on his shoulder. He’d gotten a bruise there recently so forcing back the wince that followed was difficult for him.

“Alex, there’s nothing to worry about. If the car gets dirty I will have it cleaned. See? It’ll be just fine. We better go before George gets hangry though so I want you to go ahead and jump in alright?” Her words were warm and calm. He nodded softly to let her know he would do as he was told.

This was a bit comforting to Alex hearing that they wouldn’t be upset. As soon as Martha let go of his shoulder he felt himself relax a bit. Martha walked him to the car and helped him in. The two adults got in the car and with a turn of the ignition, they were off.


	3. The Schuyler Diner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lunch with the Washington's is a rough thing for Alex. He meets Angelica.

  
The Washington's car pulled into the parking lot of a diner. When Alex got out of the car, he noticed it was small and not very impressive. It didn't fit into the aesthetic of the lavish lifestyle Alex had seen thus far. Why didn't they go to a more posh restaurant? Was it because of him? They probably didn't want to bring someone like him to a fine establishment. Mr.Washington was a senator after all, appearances are kind of their thing.

"We've been coming here for over 30 years. This is where Martha and I had our very first date!" George's voice broke up Alex's train of thought.

"His father wouldn't let him borrow his car so he had to bike the whole way here!" Martha let out a small giggle.

"I brought flowers too but I had to tuck them under my arm so when I got there, they were all bent and pretty much falling apart." George said heartily.

Alex smiled softly at the thought of a young Mr.Washington, messed up flowers in hand. It must have been a funny sight for Mrs.Washington.  
The group walked into the diner and were promptly greeted by a waitress whom smiled brightly upon seeing the two adults. Her long dark curls bounced with every movement she made.

“Mr. and Mrs. Washington! What a lovely surprise! Your usual booth I assume?” Her eyes fell on Alex and she smiled again but with less enthusiasm. “Been a while since you brought someone new, who might this young man be?” She turned back to the Washington's, the sun illuminating her sepia colored skin. She was quite beautiful. Alex turned his attention to his feet, digging his hands into his jacket pockets. A light blush spreading on his face.

“This is Alexander.” George started.

Alex cringed a bit at the name but let it slide. If he corrected them, they might get upset; so he held his tongue.

“He is our new foster son!” Martha continued in place of her husband.

The waitress looked back over to Alex before speaking again. “Well welcome Alexander, I'm Angelica. Welcome to the Schuyler diner." an enchanting smile graced her face. She stuck her hand out toward the teen.

Alex Hesitated for a moment before reaching to return the shake. "Alex..." he corrected. Angelica gave him a puzzled look. "I prefer Alex." he finished. He caught a glimpse of the Washington's eyeing him from his peripheral.

"Alex then." She said once again giving him that enchanting smile. After showing them to their table, Angelica took off to the kitchen.

Alex scanned through the menu to find the cheapest thing. He only had about 3 dollars in change he had scrounged over the few months prior, so he settled for ordering a side of fries. The Washington's looked at their menu's for bit longer than he had, but Alex decided it was safer to wait until they were ready to order before closing his menu.

"Have you decided what you'll order, Alex?" Martha spoke up. Alex felt a little relieved hearing the switch from his full name. He hadn't expected them to change how they addressed him, so it was a nice surprise.

"Yes ma'am." he replied. Both adults looked at him in silence as if waiting for something. Maybe more information? "I only have enough to get a side so I was going to order some fries ma'am." The curious looks he got from them made him uncomfortable.

"Alex, this was our treat. We didn't expect you to pay for your own meal, son." George said with a stern expression. Alex bit into his lip at the word 'son'. "Pick anything you want, not what you can afford. We will take care of it, don't worry about price."

_It's a trap._  Alex told himself. _They want you to owe them. You'll have to pay them back somehow._  The boy gulped down the panic rising in his stomach and proceeded to flip open the menu once more. He decided on picking the cheapest meal he could find. _If I only owe them a little, they can't ask for much._  
"I'll get this then..." He pointed to the turkey melt on the menu.

"If that's what you'd like." George smiled at him. Alex gave him a small nod to confirm his choice. It's not what he wanted in actuality, but it would suffice. After a few minutes Angelica came to the table. George took charge, reciting their orders and just as he was about to finish up, he turned to Alex once again. "Son, did you want to get a drink? They have a delicious lemonade here." The man suggested.

He tried to ignore the 'son' once again. He didn't want to add to his 'tab' with the Washington's so he force out a "Just water, please." keeping his head down and eyes on the table.

Angelica gave a small smile and a nod then proceeded to pocket the notebook she took the orders down on.

George and Martha began to converse among themselves. Occasionally looking to Alex, however, he couldn't stop himself from tuning them out. He just kept thinking about how he wanted to be in his safe room with a lock. He hated that he was forced to owe them for buying his food. His concentration was interrupted when Angelica came back to the table with a tray of drinks. He counted 3 lemonades, no waters. Did they order it when he wasn't paying attention?

Before he even had the chance to voice his concern over it, Angelica set the drink down in front of him. "This one's on the house, okay?" She winked at him as she let go of the glass.

"O-oh... Thank you very much miss." Angelica shot him a please look before taking off.

It wasn't long before the food came out and the rest of the meal was pretty uneventful. He listened to the Washington's talk about themselves, occasionally mentioning their foster son, Gilbert. In the course of the meal he learned that the boy had actually been adopted by the couple in the last year or so. He wondered what kind of person this 'Gilbert' was. He'd soon find out so he brushed away the subject from his mind. When the Washington's had finished their food, Alex realized he had only eaten half the turkey melt and only a handful of fries. He tried to eat the rest as best as he could, but he wasn't used to eating a full meal. He was only ever given scraps over his last few foster homes, so he was accustomed to that.  
"Alex dear, are you full? You've hardly eaten." Martha asked. He had hoped they wouldn't notice his remaining food.

_They will think I'm ungrateful. I need to eat all of it so I don't upset them..._  Alex glanced down at his plate then looked back at Mrs.Washington. "No ma'am, I'm sorry I just got distracted." He stared at his food for a moment before shoveling the fries into his mouth as quickly as it would let him. By the time he got to the last few bites of the turkey melt, He could feel his stomach run out of space. Alex forced the sandwich down and chugged some lemonade to wash it down. He felt like he could burst but he kept the food down.   
Leaving the restaurant was a bit of a blur, He could barely focus on anything over the feeling of his expanded stomach. He tried his best to hide his discomfort, he didn't want to make them think he didn't appreciate them paying for his food. He knew they would make him pay for it in other ways, but that was an issue for when he didn't feel like he would explode.


	4. An Unexpected Encounter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex meets Hercules and Lafayette. This chapter is a little sad. Alex has a small breakdown.

Back at the Washington home, Alex thanked the universe for the relatively quiet drive from the diner. His stomach was able to digest a bit by the time they returned to the home. He didn’t feel like exploding anymore, but still quite full.

“That was a lovely meal, now wasn’t it?” Martha chimed. “Alex dear, We’ve got some work to do so I’ll be in the study with George. Why don’t you run along to your room and relax until Gilbert gets here, hm?”

“Yes ma’am.” Alex was just about to turn and leave but she spoke up once more.

“You can call me Martha if you’d like. You don’t have to say ma’am.” Her face was resting in a soft smile.

“Okay ma’am- I mean um… M-Martha.” He stuttered a bit forcing the name from his lips. He didn’t like being on a first name basis with foster parents. Not since *him*.

Mrs.Washington didn’t bat a lash at his struggle with the name. She simply smiled brightly and told him “Alright run along now, sweetie.”

Alex obeyed and started down the hall toward the stairs. His body felt heavy and lethargic from the food weighing his stomach down. He sighed as he made a grab for the handle. He pushed the door open but was startled.

*thud*

It was coming from the room next to his.

*thud*

He panicked at the second one, backing up; He didn’t know what it was, maybe Martha wouldn’t be too upset for bothering her. After all any sane person would be concerned by an unexplained noise in their house. He bumped into someone; This made him jump back in surprise and turn to see who it was. He didn’t recognize this person, that scared him more than anything. He was much taller than Alex with deep umber skin. A beanie sat atop his head. He looked friendly and Alex wished that made him feel better, but it didn’t. He stumbles a bit, backing away from the tall boy.

“Woah there, dude. Didn’t mean to scare you.” He says with a deep almost husky voice. He gives a friendly smile and takes a step forward.

Alex hears the door open behind him, and it startled him. He gives a small gasp and goes to whip his head around but he loses his balance. He was going down about to hit the ground, he shuts his eyes and tensed in anticipation of the fall. It took him a moment or two to realize the absence of said fall. Instead, he had an arm wrapped around his waist pulling him back into his feet.

“Mon ami, you must be more careful! It is good you are not hurt, oui?” He heard a thick French accent say. The moment the grip was loosened, he wriggled out of the hold. He pressed his back up against the wall just like he had done earlier that day with Mr. Washington. Alex flicked his eyes back and forth between the teens in front of him. The second one had a light chestnut toned face with brown curly hair pulled tight into a ponytail. They both towered over him. They were so much bigger than him and that made him even more scared. He looked at them with worried, tired eyes. He just wanted to go to his room. With his lock and his desk so he didn’t have to be surrounded by unknown people. He missed the reminiscent familiarity of his mother that Martha gave off. He didn’t notice he had started crying until he couldn’t see and then there were hands on his shoulders. It made him flinch hard and his breath quicken. He shut his eyes again and heard voices but he couldn’t make them out. He was so exhausted. The voices were getting loud and he felt more hands on him.

“No” he quietly sobbed. He slid down the wall and pulled his knees to his chest; his hands came up to cover his ears. He felt the hands pull away and he starts to calm. His breath hitched a bit but it slowed and the tears stopped flowing.

“…ex… Alex…” he hears a soft feminine voice say. It was warm and comforting like his mother’s.

“…mama?” He croaked out.

“No honey…" He heard the voice say slightly faltering. "It's Martha."

 _That’s right. Mama is gone._ He reminded himself. He slowly blinked his eyes open and there was Martha. She smiled at him with a look of worry hidden behind it.

“Martha..?” He said quietly.

“That’s right, very good Alex.” This time her smile seemed a bit more sincere. “Are you okay? You got pretty frightened there.” She said with a voice so gentle it sent small chills down his spine. She slowly brought her hand up to his hair and began softly stroking it.

 _I made a scene… I’ll surely be punished for this later._ He thought.

“I’m fine ma’am… I mean Martha… I’m sorry.” His voice was small and his chest welled up with shame.

“It’s quite alright dear, are you okay to stand?” Alex have a small nod in reply. She stopped stroking his hair and stood then held out her hand. Alex gripped her hand cautiously. With a swift motion he was up.

He dug his hands into his jacket pockets and bit his lip; The split in his lip opening once again. He looked around to find the two teens he had seen earlier standing off to the side near the top of the stairs. Their faces covered in worried expressions.

Mrs.Washington didn’t seem to mind their presence so they probably were allowed here.

 _Wonderful._  He thought. _That’s probably their son and one of his friends. I probably made a terrible first impression. I guess I could try to smooth things over but it won’t do much good. They will forever see me as the weirdo foster kid that freaked out._

He looked back to Martha anxiously. Martha look at the teens then back to Alex with a wide smile.

“Would you like me to introduce you, Alex?” She asked as she tucked a lock behind her ear.

Alex nodded while trying to feel optimistic that he didn’t just totally ruin a chance to get on their good side. Martha made a motion for the boys to come over and when they did, she placed a hand on the shoulder of the one with the French accent.

“This is our son Gilbert. He’s a handful at times but we love him just the same” her tone was both playful and loving.

“I am not a handful Mère, I am just myself! I cannot help that you have not enough hands to deal with me.” He wrapped an arm around Martha’s shoulders. He was much taller than her, so he did so with ease.

“Gilbert, do try to be a good influence on him please?” Martha teased.

“Mère, you wound me! I am a delight!” Their bickering made Alex snicker a little.

He turned to Alex with a mischievous smirk. “ You must be Alex, oui?" He let go of Martha and brought his fists down to rest on his hips. "I am Gilbert Du Motier Marquis De Lafayette Washington! You can call me Lafayette little one. It is what all my friends call me!” Alex jumped back a small step at the hand that came thrusting at him.

He regained his composure and gently took the hand. He had aimed for a soft but stern handshake but before he could start shaking, Lafayette had already started; his arm moving too enthusiastically for poor Alex to match.

“Laf, you’re going to knock him over, man!” The other boy, Hercules, spoke up. He peeled Lafayette away enough to break the handshake. “Sorry about him, dude. He doesn’t know what the meaning of ‘too much’ is… and that’s not a language joke.”

“Je ne suis pas trop. Peut-être que vous n'êtes pas assez!” Lafayette pouted.

“Je ne pense pas que vous êtes trop. Tu es juste juste.” Alex muttered just loud enough for them to hear.

Everyone stopped and stared straight at him. Their eyes wide and curious. Very curious.

Lafayette was the first to say something. “Alex, je ne savais pas que tu pouvais parler français! C'est bien! Je ne connais qu'un autre qui peut le parler!” He shouted excitedly. “Où l'as-tu appris? vous parlez très couramment!”

Hercules and Martha didn’t want to interrupt their moment so they looked on in awe.

Alex grinned feeling pleased with himself. “À Nevis, où j'ai grandi, nous parlions espagnol, français et anglais. Je parle couramment les trois.”

“Ahem!” Martha cleared her throat. “Boys, not all of us are bilingual. Please, for our sake use English?”

“Désolé Mère, I simply was too excited to learn of this!” Lafayette threw his arms up to be dramatic.

“I’m quite excited myself, where did you learn to speak French? There was no mention of it in your file.” Martha queried.

Alex felt a blush work it’s way onto his cheeks. “On my home island Nevis we spoke a combination of English, French, and Spanish.” He repeated but this time in English.

“Well that’s wonderful. That’s very impressive.” Martha’s praises made him blush more.

“Thank you ma’am.”

“Martha.” She corrected in a sweet tone.

“Martha…” He parroted.

“Well now that things are all calmed down I’m going to leave you boys to get acquainted. I’ll be in the office if you need me.” And with that Martha turned on her heels as she had done so that morning, and walked off.

Alex felt pride fill his heart which had not happened in a long while. He was able to get on their good side despite his breakdown just a few moments prior. Even more than that, it’s possible that maybe, just maybe he might have made a friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ADJSFKSDJFASLKDF THANKS FOR ALL THE LOVE GUYS!!!! Translations will be put in order of appearance!
> 
> (I am not too much. Maybe you are not enough.)  
> (I don’t think you are too much. You are just enough.)  
> (Alex I didn’t know you could speak French! This is great! I only know one other who can speak it!)  
> (Where did you learn it? You sound very fluent!)  
> (On Nevis, where I grew up, we spoke a combination of Spanish, French, and English. I’m fluent in all three.)  
> Désolé = I'm sorry  
> Mère = Mother
> 
> ATTENTION!!! I don't know french I'm using google translate so sorry if it's bad xD


	5. The Early Trip Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex's breakdown but from Lafayette's POV

Lafayette and Hercules hadn’t planned on coming home early. They planned to go to the mall after school and hang out with another mutual friend. When that fell through, they decided to head to the Washington’s house. Lafayette had expected his family to be home with the new foster brother he was so excited to meet. However, he found the house empty. He assumed they had gone out and settled for waiting for them to return in his room.

“I do not like that they make me wait! It is not fair, Hercules!” Lafayette pouts, flopping onto his bed.

Hercules rolled his eyes and sat on the edge of the bed, placing a hand down to rest his weight on it. “Laf, I’m sure they’ll be home soon. How do you know you will even like this guy? Didn’t you say he always got kicked out his foster homes? What if he’s like a genuine delinquint?”

Lafayette sits up and looked Hercules in the eyes with a serious expression. “Mon ami, I do not believe he is a delinquent. I did not have the best file and I got to be adopted. I am not a delinquent so I am hopeful. Also, mon Mère shared with me his photo. The eyes he had did not look evil to me.”

Hercules let out a sigh. “Well I hope your instincts are correct.” He stood up from the bed and started walking towards the door. “I gotta piss, we can put in a movie after to keep your mind busy if you like.”

“Oui, that sounds good.” Lafayette flopped back onto the bed to pout again. After Hercules left the room, he couldn’t help but feel antsy. It didn’t take him long to grab the mini basketball on the nightstand to his right and began tossing it at the door.

 _Hercules is right to be cautious. He doesn’t want me to go through unpleasant things._ Lafayette thought feeling guilty for pushing his concerns away. He tossed the ball again and caught it. _What if he is right? What if Alex was trouble like he said?_

This made him pause for a second. He shook his head to dismiss the thought from his mind. He was just about the throw the ball when he heard the muffled sound of Hercules’ voice outside the door. Was he talking to someone? As far as he knew, no one else was home so this made him curious. He hopped off the bed and swung the door open. He walked into the hall and was immediately bumped into by a shorter boy. The collision cause the boy to lose his balance a bit. He moved too fast, his head started to whip around and he started to fall forward! Without a second thought, Lafayette reached around and caught the boy before he fell. He set him upright on his feet.

“Mon ami, you must be more careful! It is good you are not hurt, oui?” he exclaimed in a worried tone. As soon as he started to let go, the boy wiggled free of his grip and flipped around. He recognized the boy, it was the one from the photo he had mentioned to Hercules. The boy backed into the wall. He looked scared, too scared. Something in his eyes made him look exhausted. Lafayette opened his mouth to inquire if he was alright, but tears began to well up in his eyes.   
Something was very wrong.  
He reached his hands out and placed them on the boy’s shoulders. Immediately, the boy flinched; his breath quickened. His eyes fixed on the wall across from him.   
“Mon ami, I think you are not well, please what can I do to help?” Lafayette’s voice sounded desperate. He wasn’t prepared to handle something like this. He shot a worried look at Hercules. “What is this? What is wrong with him?” he could here the trembling in his voice.  
“Laf, I think he’s having a panic attack!” Hercules practically shouted with deep concern. “I’ll go get Martha!” and with that, he ran down the hall and pretty much leaped down the steps.   
He could hear the distant sound of Hercules yelling for Martha, but he didn’t pay it much attention. Instead choosing to look down back at Alex who he noticed had his eyes shut.  
“Mère is coming to help, little one. Be strong, d’accord?” he tried his best to sound calm and comforting, but he could tell it came out a bit more panicked than he wanted. He tried to grab the boy to pull him into a hug. He instantly regretted the decision though. The boy sobbed harder and flinched again.

“No!” he heard him cry out. He watched in heartbreak, hands still on the boys sides, as he guided the boy whilst he slid to the ground. His knees tucked in to his chest, hands coming up to cover his ears.  
  
Lafayette pulled his hands away and staggered backward. Was it something he did? Is he at fault for causing him to act this way? His racing mind thought a million different things of how he was to blame for this. He took some solace in seeing the boy’s breath start to slow. The tears had begun to cease when Martha came running up the stairs followed by Hercules. 

She dropped to her knees in front of the boy. “Alex…?” her voice was gentle and worried. “Alex.” she repeated.  
He seemed to react to Martha’s voice in a way he hadn’t expected. Lafayette couldn’t quite read the expression but nevertheless, it was helping the boy come back to reality.  
“Mama…?” he croaked out. This caused Lafayette’s heart to drop. He was aware that this boy was an orphan. He read the file he was presented by his parents. His heart ached knowing that the poor kid mistook Martha for his own mother. He teared up as the memory of that unreadable look began to make sense.  
Lafayette watched the boy carefully.

“No honey…” Martha started to say, her voice sounding almost as heartbroken as Lafayette felt. “It’s Martha.” The look on the boy’s face looked broken. Seeing that face, knowing how it feels to make that face, it was a bit too much for Lafayette. He turned and walked over to Hercules who was still by the stairs.   
Hercules didn’t say anything, he just pulled the taller boy into a small hug.   
 _I was right._ Lafayette thought to himself. _There is no way this person is bad._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the hearts I ripped out of you guys, I really wanted to tell this from the perspective of someone else to explain what happened better.


	6. The Top Disney Movie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex has a hard time getting comfortable with Hercules and Lafayette.

Alex wasn’t sure exactly how he got wrapped into playing a card game with Lafayette and Hercules. One minute he was making polite conversation in the hall, the next he’s being pulled by the edge of his sleeve into Lafayette’s room and being guided onto the bed.

Alex was unfamiliar with the concept of ‘friends’. He had distant memories of playing with other children on the beach, but other than that, he had been by himself for a very long time. It didn’t bother him as much anymore. He was used to the lonesomeness that accompanied him; he had to be.

Now he felt slightly uncomfortable, surrounded by people; Other kids his age who were just as, if not more, eager to befriend him as he was to them.

“Hello? Earth to Alex!” His train of thought interrupted as Hercules waved a hand in front of his face.

Alex looked up to the teen, realizing he had lost track of his environment. He glanced down at his hand of cards not sure what to say.

“Dude, it’s your turn!” Hercules exclaims with a smile

“Oh…!” Alex looks down at his hand again. “Um…” he scans his cards and looks at the pile in front of him. ‘I have no idea what I’m doing.’ He silently sulks. He gently plucked a card from his hand and carefully placed it onto the pile. He looks up nervously at the other two boys, but when they have no reaction he assumed it was the right choice.

Lafayette threw his hand nonchalantly at the pile looking dissatisfied. “Dude! What the heck!” Hercules snapped throwing his hands up in annoyance.

“Mon ami, I am bored! Let us watch a movie like we decided originally.” Lafayette reached to his side so he could flop dramatically.

 _It’s probably my fault, I didn’t entertain them enough._  Alex said to himself.

“Yeah right! You probably had a bad hand and didn’t want to lose!” Hercules started gathering up the cards and stacking them neatly. He grumbled quietly while doing so.

“Whatever the case, the game is done! Now we will watch the best Disney film of all time!” Lafayette shouted playfully.

“Oh no. No no no no no no. We are NOT watching that one. We’ve already seen it 4 times this week!” Hercules crossed his arms and turned to look at Alex. “He always insists we watch hunchback. I’ve memorized the words to hellfire, that’s how many times I’ve seen it. He thinks it’s such a great movie but everyone knows it’s just disturbing! It’s so dark!” Hercules rant did nothing but confuse Alex. He stared blankly at the boy before Lafayette jumped up from his spot to rest on all fours.

“No! Tell me it is not true! Mon ami, you do not know of the film? It is a Disney classic for sure!” He inched closer with every word and soon enough was practically in Alex’s face.

“Well…” he dashed his eyes uncomfortably around the room, leaning away from Lafayette. “I’ve heard of Disney but… I’ve never actually seen a Disney movie.” he confessed.

Both teens just stared in disbelief at Alex. Theirs jaws dropped and eyes widened. “You’ve never seen a Disney movie.” Hercules repeated. Lafayette sat back down and put a hand on his mouth.

Alex shook his head and looked down at his lap. “My family was very poor and-“ He was cut off by Lafayette.

“This will not do, Herc! This has to be fixed! We will start from the top!” He motioned for Alex to move off the bed and promptly hopped off the bed.

Alex followed after Hercules down to the first floor. Lafayette practically speed walked down to the family room and began searching through the mess of DVD’s they had on the bookshelf next to the T.V.

Alex wasn’t sure where to put himself. The living room looked to nice. He recalled his words to Martha earlier. ‘I don’t want to get it dirty.’ He remembered the way she had brushed off his quite filthy appearance. She insisted it was fine but Alex couldn’t stop himself from feeling as though it was an act, a ruse. He was determined to not let his guard down despite her kind words of reassurance. He looked to the couch. ‘Nope too clean. Maybe the floor?’ He thought. It was white carpet, so that was a bust. He settled for sitting on the couch. It was black suede so any dirt he could get in it wouldn’t show as bad as the carpet. Though, he made sure to sit on the opposite side Hercules chose.

“So Alex,” Hercules started. “If you don’t watch movies, what do you do for fun?” He queried.

Alex thought about the question for a moment. When was the last time he did something out of a need for fun and not survival? He chewed on his lip before deciding on an answer. “I guess I like to write. I also like reading.”

“Oh cool! What kind of things do you write? Like stories and stuff?” Hercules asked shifting in his spot so he could look at Alex better.

Alex in turn shifted too. “No it’s mostly just my thoughts and what not. Like how I’m feeling and what’s happened in my day. I like to record what’s going on in my life.” He purposefully left out how his journal was more like a collection of letters addressed to his mother. ‘They probably wouldn’t understand, anyway.’

“So it’s a diary then, huh?” The other boy teased with a grin.

The teasing didn’t sit well with Alex, it hit a nerve he didn’t usually express. “It’s not a diary.” He snapped, his volume raised slightly. Hercules was taken back a bit and Lafayette whipped his head around out of reflex.

Alex shifted himself to face forward and looked away with embarrassment. “It’s a journal…” he muttered under his breath.

“Right… sorry.” Hercules said feeling awkward. He shifted himself forward like Alex did. Lafayette turned back to the DVD’s and pulled out a movie.

Alex could feel the tension he created. He talked back and now they probably don’t like him. _I’ve ruined the friendship before it even began._  He convinced himself. He looked up at Lafayette who was putting a disc into the Blu-ray player, his back toward the smaller boy. Alex could have sworn that hunched over slender frame looked completely disinterested in him. _I’m a fool to think I could make friends. I’ll always be alone because I deserve to be._  Tears pricked the corners of his eyes, that last thought echoing in his mind. He could feel the streams start to trickle down his cheeks.

Lafayette turned around; his faced covered in worry the moment his sight caught Alex. “Mon ami,” he spoke softly. “Why are you crying again? Are you hurt by Hercules’ teasing?” He walled slowly to Alex and knelt down in front of him.

“I’m sorry…” he let out with a sniffle.

Hercules scooted closer to the other teens. “Hey man, there’s no reason to apologize, I shouldn’t have teased you about it. We don’t know each other that good, I don’t know what you’re cool with yet.” He brought his hand up and gently placed it in Alex’s shoulder.

Alex did flinch at the touch, but only a little. He brought his gaze up to meet Hercules’ eyes. “You’re not mad?” He asked with a hopeful tone.

“Of course not! It’s my fault for pushing your buttons. Why would you think I was mad?” Hercules sounded concerned.

“Because I got upset; I snapped at you.” Alex sniffled again and wiped his nose on his sleeve.

“Don’t worry about it dude. It takes a lot more than that to make me mad.” Hercules stated with a smile. He pulled his hand away from Alex’s shoulder and looked at Lafayette.

“What do you say we watch that movie now, little Alex?” Lafayette asked tucking a curl behind his ear. Alex nodded feeling relieved he hadn’t made them hate him.

Hercules got comfy before asking “So Laf, we’re starting with Snow White right?” Lafayette plopped down next to Hercules on the couch and sprawled out, leaning against his friend.\

Lafayette’s mouth curled into a mischievous grin. “I said we would start at the top, mon ami. We are watching the hunchback! The top Disney movie of all time!”

“Oh god Laf, you’re going to be the death of me you know that?” Hercules said with a giggle. Lafayette threw his head back letting out a loud laugh.\

Alex made a small sniffle as he relaxed in his seat. He was amused by the two teens at his side. They were so comfortable and free. He hoped one day he could be that way with someone.

As the Disney logo lit up on the flat screen tv sitting adjacent of the couch, a thought popped up in his mind.

_I’m not alone for now and that’s what I will focus on._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry not much happening this chapter. next chapter will be more exciting I swear!


	7. A Meal Too Much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Alex's first meal in the Washington home, and things do not go as well as he would have liked.

The movies had Alex completely enthralled. It captured his attention in a way that he had never experienced before. He didn’t even realize it had gotten so late until they were halfway through their third movie; Pocahontas. Martha stepped in the door way to the room and smiled at the sight of the three boys sitting together. Lafayette and Hercules had fallen asleep; Hercules leaning on the armrest with Lafayette sprawled across his lap. Alex was sitting on the edge of the cushion, eyes glue to the screen. It wasn’t until Martha started talking that he knew she was even there.

“Alex.” She began.

His breath hitched in surprise at the sound of her voice. He quickly paused the movie and looked over to her. “Yes… Martha…?” He spoke up feeling a bit awkward over not addressing her formally.

“Dinner will be done soon, be a dear and wake those two up for me?” She asked.

“Okay, I will.” He replied. She gave him a sweet smile and took a couple steps forward.

“Do you have any food allergies? I probably should have asked before I started preparing the food, but I didn’t think of it until I was halfway through cooking.”

The question took him by surprise, most places he had stayed at didn’t even bother to care about such things. He just always ate what he could get his hands on, there was hardly any room to worry about allergies.

“Not that I’m aware of.” He simply stated.

Martha nodded. “Is there any foods you don’t like?” She asked folding her arms.

Alex hesitated a bit. This he really wasn’t used to. No one bothered to ask about allergies let alone food he disliked. Maybe it’s a test? Maybe she wants to find out what I hate so she can feed it to me. Maybe that’s my payment for making them pay for my lunch. He stiffened a bit before speaking.

“I’ll eat anything you give me ma’am… I mean… Martha.” This was true. He couldn’t risk upsetting them and getting kicked out, so even if they served him something he disliked, he would eat it. Though it did surprise him that they were willing to feed him a second time and it was still only his first day.

Martha seemed a little confused by the answer but instead of pressing it any further, she just smiled and unfolded her arms. “Well if that’s the case, I’m going to finish dinner okay?” And with that she took her leave.

Alex released the tension from his body. ‘I hope I won’t be punished for not answering her question properly.’ He wished silently. He looked over to the boys sleeping soundly on the couch and reached out. His hand hovered over Hercules’ shoulder. He always had a hard time waking people. In the past he’d been beaten by one of his foster fathers for doing exactly that after a particularly bad nightmare about the hurricane. From that moment onward, he always felt apprehensive.

 _It was an order from Martha, I can’t disobey._  He told himself. He placed the hovering hand on the shoulder below it. He gave a small shake and quickly pulled his hand away.

Hercules opened his eyes and looked at Alex with sleepy eyes. “Oh… hey Alex… “ he paused to yawn. “What’s up?”

“Martha told me to wake you up… she said dinner is almost ready.” Alex gulped hoping the other boy wouldn’t be too upset he interrupted his slumber.

“Oh man, is it that late already?” Hercules gave Lafayette a shove and started poking his stomach.

Lafayette awoke with a startle. He sat up and stretched his limbs out. “Why are you mean to me, Herc. I was dreaming good things!” He complained rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“It’s dinner time, we need to set the table.” Hercules said with a blank face.

It took Lafayette only a second to process his friend’s words; a moment later hopping up from the couch wide awake and babbling excitedly about food.

There wasn’t much talking between Hercules and Alex. Lafayette did most of the verbal exchange for them as they prepped the table. After they finishing up, George entered the room. Alex could feel himself instantly tense up at his presence.

“Boys, the table looks great!” George said pulling a chair out.

Martha walked in from the archway that connected to the kitchen. She held a big bowl full of aluminum foil wrapped baked potatoes in her hands. She placed it on the pot holder closest to her husband.

“Dear, can you help me get the rest of the food from the kitchen?” She asked just before placing a kiss on his cheek.

George had just started bending down to sit, he immediately snapped back up. “Oh right! Sorry love, how rude of me!” He exclaimed; his voice getting quieter as he walked into the kitchen.

Lafayette and Hercules each took a seat at the table. Alex wasn’t sure where to put himself. He figured it would be safer to wait until the Washington’s took their seat at the table first. He looked at Martha and took a few steps closer to her.

“Is there anything you’d like me to help with?” He asked searching for a task to keep him busy until it was safe to sit. He didn’t want to look awkward just standing around waiting for the food to arrive.

Martha blinked a few times. “No Alex, it’s fine. George and I will get it. You just take a seat okay?” He smiled but there was a hint of that indecipherable look underneath.

“Yes ma’am.” Alex hurried to a seat near Lafayette. If Martha ordered him to sit, he would obey.

It wasn’t long before George and Martha had brought all the food out; neatly spread across the table. The sight of it all had Alex drooling.

“Alright, now that everything is ready, let’s dig in shall we?” Martha suggested looking pleased with her array of foods.

Alex brought his hands together to pray quietly. He wasn’t super religious, but it was something he had been forced to do in several of his previous foster homes. When he brought his head back up, he noticed the questioning looks from the rest of the people at the table. They tried their best to look casual and brush off their curiosity, but Alex could see right through them. No one said anything about it, just continued on; grabbing at food as if he hadn’t done something out of the norm for this home.

Alex eyed at the food trying to ignore the strange looks. He tried his best to decide on what to grab first. It was only in this moment that he realized one crucial detail.

Alex wasn’t hungry. He wasn’t hungry and there was food ready to be indulged upon right in front of him. His stomach wasn’t overstuffed as it had been a few hours ago, it was just not empty enough to eat. He felt his head go hot and his chest tighten.

There was no way he could turn down the meal after all the hospitality they have shown him today, he would surely offend them. He had to eat, there was no way around it.

Alex reached out for a baked potato first. He reached for a steak, corn, green beans. He didn’t want to eat it. His stomach churned at the idea. However, he ate anyway. He stuffed his mouth as quick as he did at the diner. He occasionally glanced at Lafayette and Hercules gorging on food themselves. They didn’t seem to mind the insane amount of food that was presented before them. Alex tried his best to get as much as he could down. It was when he got to the last half of his steak that he felt his stomach start to revolt. He could feel the twisting and uncomfortable bursting feeling return. He looked at his plate in misery, wishing he hadn’t taken the green beans.

He felt the tears prick at his eyes. He felt like throwing up. They gave him food for a second time in one day and he couldn’t finish it. Hell, he didn’t even want to eat it in the first place.

 _They will think I don’t appreciate what they’ve done. They will punish me for being so disrespectful._  His mind raced a million different ideas of what they would do to him.

“Little Alex, is there something wrong with the food? Are you feeling ill?” Lafayette asked.

Alex looked up at the other boy. He looked over to the Washington’s who he realized had stopped eating.

“I-“ he started to say turning back to Lafayette. He glanced briefly at Hercules but his attention was persistent to stay in Lafayette.

The tears pricked at his eyes harder. He could feel the lump his throat making it apparent he could start crying if he talked, but he had to say something. If he didn’t reply they would know how unappreciative he was being.

“I-“ he started once again. Breathing was becoming increasingly more difficult. The tears began bubbling from his eyes.

Alex couldn’t see George move from his seat, everything was blurry and he just wanted to finish the steak. That way he could get back to his room and be safe. A hand landed on his shoulder causing him to flinch hard.

“No!” He screamed, pulling himself away from the touch so hard that he fell off the chair. When his side hit the floor the wind was knocked out of his lungs, pain shooting through his chest. He didn’t have much time to react; the hand came down on him again.

“No, please!” He wheezed, scooting himself away from his perceived threat.

“Son, I want to help-” He heard George say. He reach a hand down in a third attempt to comfort the boy.

“No! Please, I’m sorry! I’ll eat, I’m sorry!” He pleaded. He was shaking, backing himself into the corner of the room. He clutched his aching side with one hand and brought the other up to shield his face from any impending blows. “Please don’t hurt me, I’ll be good! I’m sorry…” he pleaded some more. He curled his body into himself in an attempt to make himself smaller. Sniffles and tears made their way out against his will.

Everyone in the room was frozen at the sight. Silent and too scared to make a move. Martha and George exchanged concerned looks. The sound of quiet sobs filling the room.

When the hits he had anticipated didn’t come, Alex released the shielding arm from his face. He looked up at George with terrified eyes. He had expected to see an angry face. Instead he saw George’s face full of heartbreak.

“I’m not-“ George began, that strong deep voice faltering. “I’m not going to hurt you, Alex…”

“You’re… not?” Alex asked unsure if it was the truth.

“Of course not… I would never lay a hand on you, son.” George’s voice was low so as not to rattle him any further. Alex bit his lip at the ‘son’ and sniffled. George took a slow and cautious step toward Alex who flinched in turn, but only slightly. He took another small step and bent to rest on one knee. He got down to eye level with the boy as best as he could.

“No one will force you to eat. If don't feel like doing so, that is perfectly okay. I’m sorry we made you feel as though it was a requirement. Do you understand, son?” George said as calm as he could.

Alex could do no more than nod in spite of his displeasure of the ‘son.’ He didn’t deserve this kindness. He didn’t deserve their concerned looks and homemade food. He’d ruined their dinner and if they weren’t going to punish him, he would have to do it for them.

George smiled softer than Alex had seen thus far. “Good. I would like to help you off the floor, is that alright with you?” He asked.

Alex nodded once more. George held out a hand making sure it wasn’t too close. Alex stared at the hand for a moment and gently gripped it. His hand trembled beneath the firm grip of George’s own.

George hoisted the boy up onto his feet; the motion causing the pain to return in the boy’s side. Alex winced clutching his side tighter; this time with two arms.

“Oh dear!” Martha exclaimed worriedly as she hurried over. “Oh honey, will you let me look at you to make sure it’s not serious?” Her hands brushed gently against his own

Alex jerked away from the touch. “I’m fine.” He said with certainty. They couldn’t see, they would find out he’s a trouble maker. They would see things he did not want them to see.

“Are you sure?” She asked “I was a nurse for fourteen years, I can-“ Martha was cut off by George putting a hand on her shoulder. He just gave her that indecipherable look.  
  
"Right... Well... If you change your mind, just let me know. Would you like to go lay down?" she asked folding her arms.   
  
 _She's mad at me for not letting her look._ Alex nodded. He just wanted to feel safe. He didn't want them to keep looking at him with that pity he hated so much. He didn't need it. He had no use for it.  
  
"Gilbert, will you walk Alex to his room for me please?" She instructed pulling her husband by the elbow of his sleeve. They backed away to let Alex out from his spot.   
  
"oh, uh, Oui! Of course." Lafayette circled around the table to meet Alex at the other side of the table. "I will walk with you, mon ami. That way you are not alone." he said with a smile.  
  
Alex could tell there was pity in the smile. _I just want to be alone._ He thought bitterly. He didn't speak, only nodded. Lafayette gave a small confirming nod before pulling the edge of his jacket zipper. Alex let himself he directed out of the kitchen. He briefly caught sight of Martha putting a hand over her mouth before disappearing into the hall. He didn't know what that meant, but he didn't care. He was going to be alone soon just like he's supposed to be.


	8. Questions And Reflections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (TW: there is implied self harm in this chapter!)  
> Alex and Lafayette make their way to Alex's room. A few things go wrong, and Alex ends up feeling pretty bad. translations are in the notes

Lafayette tried his best to keep his rambling lighthearted. Alex has no intention of adding to the very one sided conversation. Every step he took made his stomach queasy. Lafayette glanced back to check on him every few seconds.

When they got to the stairs, Alex could have sworn there weren’t so many steps when he descended down them earlier in the day. Lafayette turned to him, noticing he had stopped. The taller boy did a double take between the stairs and Alex.

“Petit Alex, tu ne veux pas monters les escaliers? Je peut te tenir si tu veux?” Lafayette offered.

Alex shook his head a little. “I can do it myself.” He insisted. He took a big gulp before starting up the steps. He took his time trying his best not to shake his stomach up too much. He got about three quarters up when the feeling hit him. That twisting sensation of his stomach about to revolt. He wasn’t going to be able to force the food to stay down. It was coming up whether or not he wanted it to. He rushed up the steps past Lafayette and sped down the hall. He turned toward the door frame of the bathroom as he neared it, but it was too late. His stomach expelled its contents. He look at the mess he made in horror. If they weren’t going to punish him before, they would now for sure. His hands started to shake, god, his whole body was shaking. He couldn’t stop, he was so scared. He heard Lafayette’s steps approaching him from behind. He whipped his head around and locked eyes with the taller boy.

“Je suis désolé...” he managed to let out. He looked down at his mess with shame.

Lafayette looked at the puddle, then. Back to Alex. “C’est bon, mon ami. Nous allons le nettoyer et vous mettre au lit, d'accord?”

“Mais qu'en est-il de Martha et George? Ils seront tellement en colère.” Alex voiced his concern.

“Je connais bien père et mère, ils ne seraient pas fâchés de ça. De plus, nous n'avons pas à leur dire. Cela peut être notre secret” Lafayette said with a kind and bright smile gracing his face.

This made Alex relax a bit. He was able to get himself to stop shaking enough to follow Lafayette and let himself be instructed on how to help clean up. Once they were done, Lafayette sent the washcloths down the laundry chute.

They walked down the hall and stopped in front of Alex’s door. “Alex, est-ce que je peut te poser une question?” Lafayette spoke up.

“Si tu veux.” Alex muttered. He honestly wasn’t in a mood to answer questions, but he helped Alex clean his own puke, so he felt like he kind of owed it to him.

“Pourquoi aviez-vous forcer vous-même à manger?” Lafayette was straightforward with his query. Alex wasn’t sure how to answer that. How would he possibly be able to tell him that he’d been beaten for smaller things?

Alex pieced his words together. Choosing a simple but careful answer. He didn’t want to reveal to much. “Je ne voulais pas être irrespectueux.” He stated.

Lafayette gave him a saddened look. A frown replaced the usual smile Alex had seen. “Alex, la mère et le père sont gentils. Ils ne penseraient pas que vous êtes irrespectueux si vous ne voulez pas manger. La prochaine fois, soyez honnête avec eux. Ils vont comprendre.” Lafayette gave Alex a small pat on the shoulder and smiled sadness still in his face. “Je vais te laisser te reposer maintenant, d'accord? N'ayez pas peur de venir me chercher si vous avez besoin de quelqu'un.” And with that he left.

Alex opened his door and pushed it open; entering the room as quick as he could. When he heard the door shut and the lock click into place, he let his shoulders drop. He hobbled over to the bed, drained and in desperate need of this alone time. He flopped onto the it and let himself sink into the mattress. It was so comfy. He admired the pillowy feeling f the bedding cushioning the weight of his body.

He thought about what a wild day it had been. He reminisced about his mother and all memories he had with her. Then he thought of one memory he’d rather forget.

_“Mama..?” He called out, weak and exhausted. He tried to break free from her hold but he was so weak he couldn’t move. They were both so sick. The medicine ran out and they couldn’t afford more. “Mama…?” He called again. His mind was foggy but he knew something was wrong she didn’t answer._

Alex’s eyes shot open. He wrapped his arms around himself. He felt like crying again but he already cried too much today. Instead he sat up on the bed and grabbed the backpack. He zipped it open and dug around the bottom until he found a pencil sharpener. He didn’t own a pencil. There was only one use he had for the sharpener. Using his finger he unscrewed the already loose screws from their sockets.

 _I deserve to be punished._  He convinced himself as he stared at the small metal blade in his palm. Alex slid off he bed and walked over to the door. He took one last glance at the blade in his palm before quickly shoving his hand into his jacket pocket. He took in a deep breath and unlocked the door; pushing it open as silently as he could manage. He peeked out into the hall.

When he saw the coast was clear, he carefully made his way to the bathroom, keeping an ear out for any footsteps or voices. Once in, he closed and locked the door. He flipped the light on and looked at himself in the mirror.

‘I look like death’ he thought. His appearance wasn’t something he was proud of. His face gaunt, his hair was was as dirty as his clothes. He looked as ragged and worn down as he felt. He peeled his eyes away from his reflection, removing the blade from his pocket, and placed it on the counter. He slipped the hoodie off his shoulders and pulled the shirt over his head. His view turned back to his reflection.

Alex sighed at the assortment of purple, red, and yellow bruises he saw scattered around his chest. His gaze wandered down to his arms. Cuts old and new lined his forearms layered over top of one another.

 _I deserve to be punished_ he reminded himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the short chapter guys!!! and THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LOVELY COMMENTS I LOVE ALL OF YOU
> 
> Translations in order:
> 
> Little Alex, do you not wish to climb the steps? I can carry you if that is better?  
> I'm sorry...  
> It’s alright, my friend. We will clean it up and get you in bed, okay?  
> But what about Martha and George? They will be so mad.  
> I know mother and father well, they would not be angry at this. Plus, we do not have to tell them. It can be our secret.  
> Alex, can I ask you something?  
> If you want to.  
> Why did you force yourself to eat?  
> I didn't want to be disrespectful.  
> Alex, mother and father are nice. They would not think you are disrespectful if you do not want to eat. Next time, be honest with them. They will understand.  
> I'll let you rest now, okay? Do not be afraid to get me if you need someone.


	9. It Isn't Pretty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hercules and Lafayette talk. Martha and George talk. Day one nears it's end and the whole house feels the weight of what they will be facing. (nothing exciting this chapter. Don't worry next chapter is gonna be better. There's a little LafxHerc starting up in this one though!)

Watching Alex disappear into the hall was hard for Martha. Seeing him so scared and vulnerable, assuming the worst of them; It tore her up inside. She held her hand on her mouth so as not to let her cries be audible. As soon as Alex was out of sight, she hurried her face in George’s chest. He embraced her tenderly in comfort. He didn’t have to say anything for Martha to know that her husband felt the same thing.

Empathy.

“Hercules, will you give us a moment?” George requested, still holding his wife.

“Yeah sure, I’ll be across the hall.” Hercules complied. He swiftly made his way out of the room leaving George and Martha to their own.

George made gentle strokes on Martha’s back as she let out a choked sob. “It’s okay, he’s not in danger anymore. We are going to help him, alright love?” George said trying to soothe her.

“It’s only his first day here… and already I can see he’s been through so much.” Martha said in between sniffles. She pulled away enough to look at her husband. “Even Gilbert wasn’t in that bad of shape. What if we aren’t capable of helping him? It just breaks my heart thinking that we might be under qualified to handle this.” She added letting out another sniffle.

George took in her puffy eyes and reddened nose and gave her a small smile. “We can’t worry about that, love. All we can do is try our best and be there for him. We will do what we can and for what we can’t do, we will just have to face that when the time comes.” He raised a hand and tucked a few locks behind her ear. They both leaned in and shared a kiss.

* * *

 

Hercules hadn’t actually left to another room. He stayed by the entrance to the dining room to listen in on the Washington’s conversation.

His intentions were not to snoop; he just worried about Alex. He trusted the Washington’s but something in him knew that it would be a long time before Alex could trust them too. After all, Hercules was no strange to domestic violence. He understood why Alex cowered in the corner from a single touch. He felt the sheer terror and uncertainty of wondering what would set off the attacker next.

A shiver made it’s way down Hercules spine. Haunted by the memories playing out in his mind.

After the talking had ceased and the Washington’s began to clean up, he made his way across the hall into the family room as he had implied he would be.

Hercules walked into the white carpeted room and noticed the T.V. was on. It was still paused where Alex had left it. He walked over to the couch and sat down. He silently debated whether he should shut it off or not. Unsure if Alex would be in the mood to finish the movie, he decided Lafayette would probably let him watch the rest tomorrow. He leaned forward and grabbed the remote off the coffee table. He turned everything off and put the controller back into its place. Hercules leaned into the cushion and rubbed his face with both palms. His arms flopped to his side and his eyes fixed onto the ceiling.

 _Lafayette was right._ He thought.

His eyes pressed closed and he sat in silent turmoil, replaying the scenario in his head repeatedly. Hercules sat like this for a while, only interrupted when he heard Lafayette’s steps down the hall. He rushed over to the door way hoping Lafayette would see him and want to talk. He peeked his head out where the sound of steps were coming from, but when he saw the defeated look on his friend’s face, arms crossed and gaze off in space, he knew something was wrong.

“Laf?” He spoke quietly.

Lafayette’s attention snapped over to Hercules. His absent minded walking halted. As soon as he regained his composure, Lafayette rushed over to Hercules and pulled him back into the family room and shut the door.

“Laf, what’s wrong? Did something happen? Why did you close the door? Is Alex okay?” Hercules’ rapid fire questions seemed to have no response. Lafayette stayed facing the door, his back toward his friend.

“I was right, Herc. I was right; he is only hurt, not bad!” Lafayette proclaimed before turning around to face Hercules. He kept his head low. “He forced himself to eat. It was too much; he could not keep it down! When he made a mess he looked at me with eyes like I would hurt him! He started shaking, I do not like seeing him that way, herc!” By the end of the almost explosive confession, Lafayette was in tears; His arms moving about expressively as he talked.

Hercules pulled him into an embrace. A hand on his back pressing firmly, the other pulling his head down to rest on his shoulder. Lafayette was taller than Hercules which made the position a bit awkward. Still, they stayed that way. He let Lafayette cry into his shoulder as he rubbed calming circles on his back.

When Lafayette started to pull away, he let go keeping a hand on his neck.

“Laf.” Hercules said. “He’s not alone now. When he lets us in, we will be there for him.” He looked into Lafayette’s eyes locking their gazes on one another. Lafayette let out a sniffle and nodded. He knew Hercules was right.

A knock startled them both enough to separate their closeness. Lafayette didn’t realize they had been so intimate with one another until that knock came. With a mild blush making its way into his cheeks, he wiped the remaining nearly dry tears from his eyes, and walked over to open the door.

“Gilbert dear,” Hercules heard, recognizing Martha’s voice. “It’s getting quite late, could you possibly drive Hercules home? I’m sure his mother must be worried.

 _Yeah, right_  He scoffed in thought.

“D’accord, Mère. I will do that now.” Lafayette replied simply. He didn’t feel like putting up a fight over Hercules having to leave. He loved having his best friend stay overnight, but Lafayette thought it best not to put extra stress on his parents.

Martha gave a gentle smile and cupped Lafayette’s cheek. “Thank you, Gilbert. I’m going to have George check on Alex while I get ready for bed. Let me know when you get home okay?” She gave Lafayette a quick hug and disappeared down the hall on the right.

Lafayette shut the door and turned back to Hercules. Hercules extended a hand to give a small rub on his arm.

“I am sorry you have to go back.” Lafayette said with an apologetic look.

Hercules smiled. “It’s okay, Laf. I had to go home sometime.”

Lafayette turned and headed out of the room. Hercules followed closely behind, hoping his mom wouldn’t be home when he got there. However, he usually wasn’t that lucky.


	10. Living Is Harder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex has a bad nightmare and Lafayette comforts him.

Picking up after the meal was a rather silent job. Neither Martha nor George exchanged any words until everything was cleaned and George had returned to his study. He figured a little paperwork might help him not overthink. Though as he stared at the sheets in front of him, he realized it would be quite the opposite. Instead of being a welcomed distraction, he could barely get himself to focus.

He just about gave up when Martha knocked on the door frame and entered the room.

“George dear, it’s getting late I’m going to have Gilbert take Hercules home. Do you think you could check on Alex for me so I can get to bed? I have an early meeting tomorrow.” Her request was one that George was more than happy to oblige to. With everything swirling about in his head, he agreed that checking on Alex would be a good idea.

“Yes of course, love. I’ll do that shortly; I just need to put away my things. “ he replied.

Martha gave a soft smile and said “Thank you, and don’t be up too late.”

“Of course. I will head to bed as soon as I am done checking in with Alex.” George smiled back at her and as she left, he gather his papers up stacking them neatly to the left of his laptop. He lowered the laptop screen to a close and stood up from his rolling brown leather chair.

George made his way over to the shelf of books and folders sitting by the window and slipped out Alex’s file. He scanned the first page, sparsely picking through the tidbits of information. He flipped through the rest finding himself bothered by how Alex’s own file could possibly sound against him. George was a senator, he had access to information if he needed it. He had researched the incidents brought up in his file and thinking back on it now, he should have listened to his gut telling him something was off. He felt it deep down when all the reports were from other people’s view. Not a single person took down Alex’s side of anything.

George let out a deep sigh before sliding the folder back into it’s place on the shelf. He walked out of the room and strode down the hall, making his way up the stairs to the second floor. He would have passed right by the bathroom without a second thought if it weren’t for the light being on. Lafayette and Hercules would have already left at that point and Martha already headed to their bedroom. Through the process of elimination, George came to the conclusion that it had to be Alex.

He walked up to the door; The muffled sound of sniffles sent a frown to George’s face.

“Alex?” He spoke up as he gave a gentle knock on the door. “Is everything alright, son?”

He heard almost panicked shuffling before the door unlocked with a click. It cracked open to reveal a puffy-eyed red faced Alex trying his best not to show that he had been crying.

“I’m fine. I was just using the bathroom before bed, I’ll lay down now.” Alex’s voice sounded a bit hoarse which made George feel uneasy.

“Son, if it’s alright with you, I’d like to sit down and talk for a second.” George tried to sound like it was more of a suggestion than anything else.

“Yes, sir.” Alex replied. He pulled the door the rest of the way open and George took a step back to give him some space.

Alex moved past George keeping his distance and back to the wall. He didn’t move as if waiting for George to lead him.

“May I sit with you in your room or would you like to go somewhere else?” George asked.

“Wherever you would like, sir.” Alex answered. George felt a little discontent that Alex was so compliant and formal towards him.

“It’s up to you, wherever you feel most comfortable, son.” George saw Alex bite his lip. He wasn’t sure if it was something he said and the boy didn’t seem to want to budge from his spot. Alex mumbled something under his breath that George didn’t quite catch. “What was that?” He tried to ask.

“Nothing, never mind, the room is fine.” Alex had his hands buried in his jacket pockets and seemed to tense up with his reply.

George tried his best to brush it off, he didn’t want to push the boy too much after the day he had. “Okay if you insist.”

George turned away from Alex and walked the few step to Alex’s door. He stood a bit awkwardly waiting for Alex to go in first, but again the boy wouldn’t move a muscle. George went ahead and entered the room despite how intruding he felt. He took a seat on the desk chair and motioned for Alex to take a seat on the bed.

“Should I close the door, sir?” Alex asked keeping his eyes on the floor.

George was caught off guard by the question. He supposed if Alex would prefer more privacy, that would probably be ideal. “Uh… sure.” George hoped that was a good answer.

Alex shifted uncomfortably before closing the door. He walked over cautiously and seated himself on the end of the bed farthest from George.

“So…” George started. “I wanted to extend the offer that if you ever need anything from Martha or I, to please let us know. I can gather by the kind of day you’ve had that you’ve previously been in some unpleasant situations. If you ever feel like talking about it, I want you to feel free to approach us at any time,son.”

“Yes, sir.” Alex complied almost robotically. His blank stare aimed at the ground.

George worried he might overwhelm the boy. He stood up from the chair and looked at Alex once more.

“I’ll be with Martha in our bedroom just down the hall, if you need anything. It’s okay if you need to wake us up, okay son?”

Alex didn’t say anything. He only gave his lip a hard bite and nodded.

“Goodnight, Alex.” George said with a smile. He walked out of the room and that was that. He went to bed as he had promised Martha, and as he laid in bed; Martha sleeping soundly at his side, his mind wandered. Thoughts of what kind of horrors the boy had faced, what kind of demons made him so scared.

 

* * *

 

Alex counted to sixty before getting in bed. He didn’t have any change of clothes, and he wouldn’t be caught undressed if he needed to escape in the night. He spent a while tossing and turning in the comfort of the mattress and bedding. Every so often he would catch a glimpse of the time. It was when it hit around four o’clock that he decided, it must be the bed. It was too luxurious for his body to rest correctly. He had only ever slept on a cott or crappy pull out beds. The only exception to this was the first home he was in, and even then he didn’t get to enjoy it long enough to get used to sleeping on a real mattress.

Alex threw a pillow and the blanket onto the beige carpet. He worked himself onto the floor, careful not to let the bed creak. It didn’t take long for him to get comfy. The carpet was plush and the blanket warm. He stared at the ceiling until his eyes fluttered shut.

_**“You little whore, you like this don’t you? You’re so dirty.”** A deep male voice said._

_‘ **No! Your wrong!’** Alex tried to say. His throat wouldn’t allow any words to escape. He felt the hands on his body, he felt one slide down his abdomen. ‘ **No! Please stop!’** He could hear his screams fill his head but no matter his efforts, not a single peep made it out._

_**“You deserve to be punished. After all I do for you, you owe this to me.”** The voice spoke again._

_Alex tried to kick, punch, anything to get the hands off; but he couldn’t move. Tears streamed down his cheeks. He cried as the hands glided across his skin, they reach to his throat and groin. Another pair of hands, unfamiliar ones, grabbed him by the shoulders and began to shake him._

“NO!” Alex screamed out, bolting upright and scurrying away from the figure in front of him. As he backed up, the hands on his shoulders pulled off. “GET AWAY!” He shouted.

“Alex, it’s okay! It’s just me!” A manly voice spoke out. Alex couldn’t make out the face, it was too dark. The figure reached for him but Alex smacked the hand away out of reflex. He backed himself to sit under the desk, pulling his knees in and arms hugging tightly around himself.

“DON’T **FUCKING** TOUCH ME!” He ordered. His voice was desperate. A loud and harsh cry made its way out from him. His entire body shook as it racked with uncontrollable sobs.

The figure dared not move, it didn’t reach for him nor leave. It stayed completely still, watching Alex. Through the cries he was able to look up at the figure and that was when he recognized George; sitting on his knees with a grim expression. Behind him, the hall light illuminated a worried looking Lafayette.

 _Shit._  He thought. _I forgot to lock the door._

After silently cursing himself, Alex noticed George make a small move to get a little closer. This made Alex back farther into the underneath of the desk. Whatever space he had left between him and the wood, was all but gone.

“Alex… please I just want to help…” George pleaded, scooting ever so slightly closer.

“Please just leave… “Alex forced out between hitches in his breath. He buried his face as best he could in his knees.

George reached a hand out and gently placed it on Alex’s hand. The boy respond by tightening his grip on his legs and crying harder. “Please just get **out**!” He was practically begging by this point.

George pulled his hand back as if injured by the boy’s reaction to touch. “I can’t help if you don’t let me, son…” he said.

Alex's eyes darted up to meet George's own, and through the tears he flashed a look of pure anger at the man. “I am **not** your son!” He shouted, voice straining with every syllable.

If George’s face wasn’t completely filled with hurt before, it was now. He drew back a bit, widening the space between them. Lafayette walked into the room and made a light tug at his father's shoulder. George didn’t have to look up to know it was his time to leave. Alex made it very apparent that he was not welcome, especially right now. George rose to his feet slowly, so as not to startle Alex. He walked over to and through the door way taking one last pained look at the boy; the image of him cowering underneath the desk burning into his memory.  


* * *

 

Lafayette sat down slowly as George exited the room. He looked about Alex’s frame; all curled in on itself as if he wanted to disappear completely. He felt tears prick at the edges of his eyes but he couldn’t let himself cry. Alex needed him and right he needed to be strong. He wiped his face and regained his composure.

“Petit Alex, ça va. Père est parti, tu n'as plus à avoir peur.” Lafayette did his best to sound comforting. He hoped the French would help soothe him and it did. He could see Alex relax just a little, still curled into himself.

“Est-ce que ça va pour vous de sortir? Nous pouvons asseoir sur le lit pour que vous soyez plus confortable.” Lafayette suggested studying Alex as he spoke.

Alex peeled his face from his arms to look up at Lafayette. “Non, s’il te plaît, je ne veut pas être sur le lit. Je suis désolé de réveiller tout le monde, mais s’il te plaît, ne me forcer pas d’aller sur le lit. Je serais bien, je promets!” His words spilled out; Lafayette barely had time to process them.

“Mon ami, pourquoi êtes-vous si peur d’être sur le lit? Je ne te forcerais pas, donc n’inquiète toi pas de cela, mais je voudrais savoir pourquoi vous êtes si peur. Je veut comprendre pour que je peut être capable de t’aider.” Lafayette stayed in his spot. He learned from seeing George that getting too close might be a bad idea.

Alex fidgeted a bit, his fingers picked at the hem of his jacket sleeves. He hesitated before opening his mouth to speak. “Je ne veut pas être puni…” his voice was quiet and unsure as the words left his mouth.

Lafayette’s face filled with sadness. Alex didn’t have to say anything more than that for him to know what he meant. “Alex, je ne te ferais jamais rien comme ça. Je ne connais pas quoi ce qui a arriver, mais je te promets que je te punirai jamais”

Alex looked at him with wide eyes. He couldn’t know if this was true, after all, he had been lied to before. “Je ne comprends pas.” He stated plainly. By this point, his crying had been reduced to periodic sniffles.

“Qu'est-ce que tu ne comprends pas? Je suis confus.” Lafayette said.

Alex let go of his legs to adjust to sitting cross cross. He picked at his shirt, then looked up to Lafayette once more. “Pourquoi vous me punissez pas?” He asked.

Lafayette gave a puzzled look. “Parce que c’est une chose terrible à faire. Je ne vais pas te faire de mal.”

Alex seemed a bit taken back by this. Lafayette could pretty much see the wheels in his head turning as he processed Lafayette’s reply.

“Même si…” Alex began. “Même si je le mérite...?” He seemed to hesitate once again.

Lafayette frowned at the notion that Alex would ever deserve something like that. “Mon ami, tu ne mériteras jamais ça.” He scooted just a hair closer. “Écoute, je ne sais pas ce que tu as vécu, mais fais-moi confiance, Alex. Tu ne le méritais pas.”

Alex’s eyes started to fill up at his words. _If only I could believe that._  He thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> translations in order!  
> ((Little Alex, it’s okay. Father is gone, you don’t have to be scared anymore.  
> Is it okay for you to come out? We can sit on the bed so you can be more comfy.  
> No, please, I don’t want to be on the bed. I’m sorry for waking everyone up, please don’t make go on the bed. I’ll be good I promise!  
> My friend, Why are you so scared to be on the bed? I will not make you so don’t worry about that, but I would like to know why you are so frightened. I want to understand so I can know how to help you.  
> I don’t want to be punished…  
> Alex, I would never do anything like that. I don’t know what happened, but I promise I will never punish you.  
> I don’t understand.  
> What do you not understand? I’m confused.  
> Why won’t you punish me?  
> Because that’s a terrible thing to do. I’m not going to hurt you in any way.  
> Even if…Even if I deserve it..?  
> Look, I don’t know what you have been through, but trust me Alex. You didn’t deserve it.))


	11. The Breakfast Feast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex is able to eat and everything goes generally well. (not much happening this chapter)

  
It took quite a bit of reassurance to coax Alex from his hiding place under the desk. Lafayette had spent the better part of an hour and a half making an attempt at keeping Alex's mind busy until he seemed calm enough to sleep again. Alex did his best to mask his desperation for the other boy to leave. He appreciated Lafayette's efforts, however, Alex had enough of people for at least until morning. When He finally got Lafayette to agree to go back to bed, he took to writing to his mother in hopes that it would help him relax, but not before triple checking that he had in fact remembered to lock his door this time. There was no way in hell that he would ever have a repeat if he could help it.  
Alex continued writing and hadn't realized he had written through the rest of the night until a knock made it's way onto his door. He checked the clock- Eight Forty-Three- and quickly dashed over to answer the knock. His heart pounded, a hand hovering over the knob ready to unlock it. He could feel the anxiety lumping in his throat as he wondered if he was about to be sent away. Surely, they didn't want to deal with his nightly screams, it wasn't what they had signed up for. He was positive as soon as the door was opened, he would be sent away. Still, he supposed it would be in his best interest to face it head on and get it over with than procrastinate the inevitable. So with that, Alex pried the door open after a quick 'click' of the lock.  
He peeked into the hall and took in the sight of a rather perturbed looking Mr. Washington, standing a good foot away to allow space.

"Yes, sir?" Alex piped up. His voice seemed small and reserved even to himself.

"Alex, um..." George started- Alex could practically feel his struggle to not say 'son'- "Breakfast is nearly ready. Gilbert isn't up yet, I was about to wake him. If you'd like, there should be enough time to shower and change. I've laid a towel and washcloth on the counter for you." He said motioning with a tilt of his head toward the bathroom.

"Yes, sir." Alex gave a small nod, stifling his surprise at the fact that not only are they not going to kick him to the curb, but he's still getting fed after last night, as well as they are offering him the chance to bathe. Though, he didn't like the sound of George being alone with Lafayette, in the room, where bad things usually happen. He knew Lafayette trusted them, he vividly recalled how many times the other boy had claimed they they were good people. Even so, the churning in his stomach convinced him otherwise. At the very least, he would stick around long enough to keep an eye on George until the coast was clear.

George returned to his previously anxious looking state, he seemed as though he wasn't quite sure how to continue from there. He flashed Alex a quick but uncomfortable smile before stating "Right then." and turning on his heel. Alex kept his eyes on George and could practically see the discomfort oozing from the man. With a- louder than necessary, Alex might add- knock to the door, George made his way into the room. Alex pulled himself into the hall, not allowing himself to lose his view of Mr. Washington.

"Gilbert, son." George gave a gentle shake to the sleeping teen's shoulder. Alex's eyes narrowed at the contact, his watchful gaze turned into more of a glare. "It's time to get up, breakfast will be ready soon. I need you to show Alex how to work the shower."

Lafayette groaned, giving his eyes a vigorous rub and sitting up. "What are we having for breakfast?" He asked, the grogginess overtaking his voice. His limbs stretched out from the bed followed by an intense yawn.

George smirked and raised his brows. "I see your stomach is awake before you, as always." He quipped. "Come on, son. Up and at 'em!" the man said giving a strong pat to Lafayette's back. He turned to make his way out of the room, only hesitating for a moment after seeing Alex staring him down.

When Alex saw George disappear down the stairs, he let himself relax.

"Sorry to make you wait for me, mon ami!" Lafayette tossed his blankets off his body and worked himself up off the bed.

Alex whipped his head around; the sound of Lafayette’s voice snapping him back to reality. “It’s not a problem.” He said dismissing George from his mind.

Lafayette stretched once more; he walked past Alex letting him trail behind as they walked through the hall to the bathroom.

Alex didn’t like his reflection. It took everything in him not to turn away when they entered. Fortunately, Lafayette seemed too focused on his explanation of the faucet and what-not to spot the glances Alex continually shot at himself. After giving Lafayette an appreciative smile and his thanks, he was soon enough left with no company but said reflection.

After checking the door several times to make sure, absolutely sure, that it was indeed locked, he didn’t bother looking at himself. He didn’t want to see the sleep deprived face, gaunt, and emotionally drained staring back at him. He kept his head low and eyes averted while he stripped himself and hopped into the shower.

 

* * *

 

  
Lafayette had noticed the glances, he noticed the way Alex seemed positively exhausted. It worried him that the dark circles already present on the boy’s face had seemingly worsened overnight.

“Mon Père,” Lafayette spoke, striding into the dining room with determination in his heart. “May I speak with you?” He asked.

George turned from the griddle full of pancakes to face the boy. “Of course, son.” He replied placing the spatula on the counter, a questioning looked sent Lafayette’s way. “What would you like to discuss?”

“I am worried for Alex. He was sleeping on the floor in his clothes, and when I showed him the shower, he would look at himself with a face that was very sad. I’m sure I do not need to say anything about his screams. I was so worried that someone was hurting him! And-“ Lafayette’s rant was cut short by George raising his hand.

“Take a deep breath, Gilbert. Getting yourself worked up will not help him.” George commanded.

Lafayette silently counted as he sucked in a breath. _un deux trois quatre…_

he let his breath seep out. _un deux trois quatre…_

When he was done he opened his eyes and looked to George with a concerned expression. “I just want to help him.” He muttered just loud enough for George to hear.

George smiled lovingly at Lafayette. “And we will, son. We can’t force him to open up to us, it has to be on his terms. But for now, I want you to go shower. I’m nearly finished with breakfast and I expect you to be clean and ready for the day by the time we start to eat”

Lafayette returned the smile and nodded. “Merci, Père.” He said before sprinting off down the hall he previously entered from.

Logically, he knew his adopted father was right. He couldn’t force help on Alex; he needed Alex to trust him first. Still, he wasn’t totally sure how to do that. But he would try. It was all he **could** do.

  
———

  
Alex had finished up his shower, but with no clothes to change into, he settled for dressing himself with the ragged ones he had come with. He didn’t expect any reaction out of the ordinary. He wasn’t sure if they would even notice. Alex did, however, contemplate zipping his jacket to give the illusion that he could be wearing a different shirt, but decided it would be pointless seeing as the shirt was too long on his small frame, thus peeking out the bottom.

 _It’ll be fine._ He tried to convince himself. He took in a deep breath as he turned the knob and exited the bathroom.

When he reached the dining room, George and Lafayette stopped their friendly chatter to look him over. They exchanged a look at one another and George spoke up first.

“Alex-“ he started. “Do you not have a change of clothes?”

Alex blushed with embarrassment. His head lowered and his still-wet but not brushed hair fell to the sides of his face. “No, sir.” He replied.

Lafayette sent a sad face Alex’s way. Their stares made Alex shift uncomfortably and dig his hands into his pockets. He didn’t enjoy the pity in their looks.

“Well.” George began. A kind smile graced his features. “Then that will be our project for today. Martha should be home from her meeting with Senator Laurens around ten. She’ll probably have some paperwork to file, but after that, we can-“

“With all due respect, sir,” Alex interjected. “I’m quite fine with the clothes I have, I wouldn’t want to waste your money.” If Lafayette and George had known him better, they would see that this was his way of saying _I don’t need your charity. You’ll just make me earn it somehow, anyway._

However, they didn’t know Alex very well. So, George, after sharing a puzzled glance with Lafayette whom was already at the table, and spoke up again. “Son, it’s really not a problem. I would hardly consider buying clothes for you a waste of money-“

 **“I’m not your son.”** Alex stated matter-of-fact-ly. “…sir.” He finished, lowering his gaze to the wood-style tile floor.

George fumbled over his words a bit. “Yes… um… right, sorry. I forgot.” An awkward silence passed through the conversation for a moment. George cleared his throat. “Still, I insist we get you some new clothes.” He started up again. “I wouldn’t be doing my job as a foster parent if I didn’t provide you with necessities, now would I?” He forced a smile with a hint of that indecipherable look him and Martha seemed to love so much.

Alex pushed down his discontent at the comment.

“Let us just sit and enjoy the food right now, oui?” Lafayette piped up. His tone a bit enthusiastic obviously trying to lighten the tension in the room.

“Yes, breakfast is ready, so let’s dig in, shell we?” George added making his way to a seat.

“Yes, sir.” Alex replied.

Alex chose to seat himself next to Lafayette who eagerly motioned him over. He looked at the food spread across the table.

‘These people really like to eat.’ He thought with a twitch of his brow.

“Alex,” George said. “Would you prefer it if we prayed first?” The man queried.

Alex was surprised by the question, at first not knowing how to respond. He brought his eyes up to meet George’s. It shocked him that he had even asked.

“It’s okay, we don’t have to. I usually just do it without thinking.” Alex replied.

George couldn’t help the curious look.

Alex figured he probably owed an explanation. “In a few of the foster homes, everyone was pretty religious so it’s more of something I picked up than anything.” He offered.

George nodded in understanding. “Yes, old habits do die hard, don’t they?” He said reaching for some pancakes.

Alex allowed himself a decently sized meal as far as he was concerned. Three red grapes, the smallest pancake on the plate, and a piece of bacon. It wasn’t huge, but for Alex it seemed just right. He carefully cut a piece of syrup soaked pancake and brought it up to his mouth. The moment it hit his tongue it hit him. His mouth watered against his will and his brain finally registered the emptiness of his belly.

He closed his eyes and enjoyed the sweet bliss he felt in the moment as he savored the taste overwhelming his mouth. He let out a pleased sound and Lafayette couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped him.

Alex snapped his eyes open, a fierce blush taking place on his cheeks. He yanked the fork from his lips and continued his meal as silent as possible. He glanced up at George at some point, a wide smile stretched the man’s face.

The rest of the meal had gone quite uneventful, occasional chatter amongst the three filling the room with a vibe Alex could describe as peaceful, comfortable even. He and Lafayette stayed and talked at the table whilst George cleaned the dishes. Alex learned about more of Lafayette’s friends, Thomas, and John. By the time ten o’clock rolled around, he had nearly forgotten about the promise of a quest for clothes.


	12. The Promise Of Clothes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Martha comes home, and the Washington household get ready for their shopping spree.

When Martha strolled into the house, folders in hand, it took her by surprise to find her son, Lafayette, and the new addition to their home, Alex, casually conversing still at the dining room table. Alex looked almost relaxed with an mild smile on his face. It warmed her heart seeing them bonding so comfortably. Though, the relaxed nature of the scene changed as she came into Alex’s sight.

“Hello, boys!” She greeted with a gentle smile. “How is everyone’s morning going?”

Alex immediately tensed ever so slightly at Martha’s presence.

“It is going well! We ate a lot and now we are ready to shop until we fall!” Lafayette replied enthusiastically.

Alex internally cringed at the mention of the shopping.

“Gilbert, dear, the saying is shop until you drop.” Martha corrected with a small giggle.

“ça n'a pas d'importance, I like mine better!” Lafayette grinned with a teasing look.

Alex couldn’t help but smile. He suppressed a laugh, and shifted in his seat.

Martha chuckled before speaking again. “Well, anyway, let me put my things away and change into something more comfortable. After, that we can leave.” She affectionately toddled Lafayette’s hair and turned to leave. She stopped at the door way and gave a half turn to look at Alex. She eyed suspiciously at his hair and how the tangles hadn’t brushed out.

“Alex, sweetie, do you have a brush?”

Her question caught Alex off guard. He didn’t own a brush, only a well-used comb with missing bristles that he kept from one of his homes. He gulped nervously before opening his mouth to answer. “No ma’am.”

Martha noticed his jaw tighten after his reply. She didn’t think it wise to comment on it, so she simply smiled and said “well, then we will add that to our list.” She turned back around and walked out of sight.

Alex looked down at his lap. His brows furrowed in regret. ‘Another thing to pay for.’ He thought.

“Alex, if you need a brush you can use one of mine until you get your own!” Lafayette gleamed. He rushed to his feet and pulled Alex by the sleeve down the hall.

The next thing Alex knew, he was being sat down on the soft white carpet of the family room. Lafayette rushed out of the room leaving Alex confused and curious what the bubbly teen was up to. Soon enough, he heard Lafayette’s footsteps echo through the hall and when he entered the room, Alex spotted the green round wide bristle brush in his hand.

Lafayette flopped onto the couch, and shifted on the cushion until he was satisfied. He went to make a grab for Alex’s hair, bringing the brush up in anticipation, but the moment Alex felt a tug, he recoiled. He pulled away, not giving Lafayette enough time to let go of a particularly tangled lock.

Alex hissed from the pain. The burning sensation from the sudden yank overwhelming his scalp.

“My friend, I am so sorry! I did not know you were going to pull away! are you okay? it doesn’t hurt too bad, does it?” Lafayette blabbered out.

Alex rubbed his head wincing at the soreness of the spot. “It’s fine, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-“

“Little Alex, do you not want me to brush your hair? I don’t have to if you don’t like it.” Lafayette’s tone colored with concern as he looked down at the smaller boy.

“No, it’s okay, it’s just reflex, that’s all. I’m sorry.” Alex dropped his hand to his lap and squeezed his eyes shut.

 _I’m just getting my hair brushed. Nothing else. There’s nothing to worry about._  He told himself.

Lafayette frowned but nodded. “If you want me to stop, just tell me okay?” He carefully picked up the lock of hair once more and softly started de-tangling from the bottom.

Alex fought the urge to pull away. Every instinct he had told him that this was bad. That Lafayette would grab handfuls of his hair and do who knows what. But Alex tried to remind himself that Lafayette was not like that. So he sat and waited for it to be over, praying that he was right to trust Lafayette.

They sat in silence as Lafayette made his way through each lock, careful not to brush to quickly, and careful not to pull to hard. When he was finally done, he leaned forward and gave a gentle tap to Alex’s shoulder. “Do you have a hair tie, mon ami?” He asked softly.

Alex nodded and slipped the hair tie from his wrist and passed it back to Lafayette. A few small tugs later, his hair was up in a ponytail.

A small knock at the door frame startled the two; Alex, jumping a bit more at the unexpected sound.

They looked over at Martha who stood in the doorway. “I just finished up putting my things away. Gilbert dear, can you go grab a tote bag for me?” She said. A sweet smile gracing her face.

“Of course, mère.” He got up from the couch as Martha disappeared back into the hall. Alex followed after Lafayette back into the dining room. “Wait here, Little Alex. I will be back soon.” He said before scampering off into the kitchen and through a door Alex hadn’t been through before.

Alex felt awkward just standing around. He looked around the empty dining room, unsure of himself. His eyes crazed over the copious amounts of food still strewn across the table. Apples, bananas, and some pre-packaged pastries stared back at him. Without thinking, he grabbed a couple pastries and stuffed them into his jacket pocket. He couldn’t be sure that they would continue to feed him. So far they had been providing more than he was used to, but what if they decided to change that? His chest filled with guilt over stealing food from them, but if they suddenly stopped wanting to be nice, what was he to do? He needed to start a stockpile. Two pastries surely wouldn’t be missed. Only a moment passed before Lafayette was back in the dining room holding an olive green tote bag.

Alex forced the guilt off his face and turned it to be blank. He hoped the forced neutral-ness of the look didn’t seem out of place for him. After all, how well could they read the face of practically a stranger?

“I am back, mon ami! Come with me, I have a gift.” Lafayette said placing the tote on the kitchen table and tugging Alex by the sleeve.

Alex was surprised when he was pulled into Lafayette’s room. At first, he was terrified. The thought of following him into a room when there was no one else around, and he knew from experience that the room locked. What he hadn’t expected however, was For Lafayette to dig through his closet and pull out a soft slightly fuzzy burnt orange sweater. It looked small, too small, for Lafayette to fit. The sleeves were much shorter than Alex could imagine Lafayette being able to pull off. It would serve better as a crop top for him as opposed to a sweater.

“This was my dear friend Johns, I stole it from him to use it as a crop top!” Lafayette gave a mischievous grin. The sheer coincidence that Alex jokingly guessed right had him choking back a laugh.

“What is so funny?” Lafayette demanded, his tone nothing but friendly.

Alex came down from his amusement with a small smile taking place on his face. “Nothing… it’s just…” he grinned a little wider. “Just before you said that, I thought that it would look more like a crop top on you.”

Lafayette blinked at Alex for a second. He brought a hand to his mouth and snorted before his head went back as he let out a booming laugh. His arms wrapped around his stomach, pulling the sweater in tight. Alex couldn’t help the blushing smile spreading across his face.

“I cannot believe, you only have known me for one day and already you know me so well!” Lafayette wheezed between cackles.

It took some time to compose himself, but once he did he looked to Alex with an amused look on his face. “Little Alex, you are something else.” He said handing the sweater to the smaller boy.

Alex grinned sheepishly, taking the sweater. He liked seeing Lafayette so entertained by him. He looked down at the sweater and realized something. It was just as he had thought previously, the sweater was tiny. Maybe it would still be a bit big on Alex himself, but this John fellow had to be around his size.

“Hey Lafayette?” Alex piped up.

“What is it, mon ami?”

Alex furrowed his brows with worry. He just hoped his instinct was wrong. “Does John… Does he get enough food?”

Lafayette’s smile dropped from his face and was replaced by a quick look of sad curiosity before changing back into a smile. It wasn’t bright like before, there was instead kind understanding in it. “Oui, Alex. Do not worry yourself. He is small but only naturally.”

Alex nodded and smiled with relief. “That’s good.” He stated letting the breath go that he wasn’t aware he was holding.

A slightly tense quiet passed between the both of them. Lafayette broke the silence, a question he had wanted to ask sooner made its way through his lips. “Alex… in some of the homes you were in, did they not give you food often?”

Alex gulped. He had to chose his words wisely. He couldn’t risk revealing too much. He wasn’t sure Lafayette would understand if he told him that he hadn’t earned his food, he hadn’t behaved like he was expected to and that’s why they had to punish him. He tried to formulate a good reply to explain without letting the taller boy know how he had been bad and that he was only getting what he deserved. He spent too long thinking about what to say that before he even realized it, he hadn’t said anything. Lafayette had already gotten the answer he was looking for, and he hadn’t even muttered a word.

Lafayette looked into his eyes, he saw the conflicted thoughts behind them and whispered a pitying “oh Alex…”

Alex could feel the lump in his throat. He mustered up as much courage as he could so he could say something, anything. “It’s fine…” he finally forced out. He had half expected Lafayette to push him for more info, but instead the teen just placed a gentle hand on Alex’s shoulder to show comfort.

“You will be fed here, I promise.” Lafayette said looking stern and certain.

In that moment Alex believed his words. He trusted that Lafayette was telling the truth, that he wouldn’t have to worry about any next meal while in this home. He gave a small nod to show he understood.

Lafayette smiled at this, and slid his hand off from Alex’s shoulder. “Now, go change and we will leave, d’accord?”

————

After Alex changed into the sweater, they made their way downstairs to the entry way of the house. Martha and George stood waiting, chatting about her meeting with the senator. When the couple spotted the boy’s turning the corner, they both took notice to Alex’s changed shirt.

“So John’s sweater huh?” George piped up first. “It looks good on you! A bit big still, but that’s why we are making this trip to the mall, right?” George grinned pleased to see Alex wear something more suited for his frame.

Alex blushed at the compliment. He wasn’t sure how to react, and settled for picking at the bottom hem of the sweater. He was thankful it was long sleeve but he worried a tad about the neckline. He just hoped it didn’t slip off his shoulders too much.

“It used to be smaller, but it’s no doubt been stretched out by our dear boy Gilbert.” Martha added. A cheeky grin spread across her face as well.

Lafayette harrumphed. “I cannot help that I am so tall, dark, and handsome! My body needs to be this size if I am to contain this much fabulousness!” He stated folding his arms in protest of their comment.

The Washington’s shared a laugh before George reached for the doorknob.

“Well, enough chit chat, let’s get going, shall we?” George suggested with a pull of the door.


	13. A New Face And An Old One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex is confronted by Lafayette and it causes Alex to have a small fight or flight moment. He's found by Hercules and a new face he hasn't seen before. (SURPRISE IT'S JOHN)

  
The mall was huge. It wasn’t just big, it was gigantic. Alex had never seen a more exuberant collection of stores in one place. His ragged pants and small hunger-panged stature didn’t fit in with the environment. Everyone around him looked full and happy, not a true care in the word. They had only just arrived and already He wish he was back at the manor.

They stopped by a store Alex was unfamiliar with first, Lafayette swore it was a store for teen fashion but Alex couldn’t imagine teens being able to afford this. George and Martha both had tried suggesting some short sleeve shirts and shorts on a few different occasions, but Alex refused. Shorter clothes can’t hide things. He just used the excuse that he disliked how he looked in them. He did take notice to the glances Lafayette would send from the corner of his eye, but ignored it. Alex just hoped, prayed, he wouldn’t ask any questions. And he didn’t, not until Alex was exiting a dressing room for the seventh time- Alex had been keeping track- and Lafayette caught a glimpse down the sleeve of Alex’s sweater. It was only a glimpse, and yet, Lafayette knew. He had seen the signs with his friend John, he knows what to look for.

He waited until George and Martha were off looking around the store together leaving the teens to their own devices. “Alex… I have something I need to ask.” He looked concerned. This made Alex uneasy.

“Yes, Lafayette?” Alex asked, his stomach churning uncomfortably.

Lafayette’s eyes shifted around the room. His face contorted with uncertainty over what words to use. “Alex… do you ever hurt yourself?” His fingers fidgeted nervously. He didn’t want to say the wrong thing.

But it was too late, it must have been the wrong thing; Alex bolted. He ran out of the shop so fast, no one was able to react fast enough. Lafayette pushed his way through the tables and called after him, Martha froze, and George didn’t even give it a second thought; he chased after Alex despite being several seconds behind.

Alex ran until he was out of breath. He stopped in front of a toy shop, and leaned against the wall. He slid down to the ground and let his head fall back to the wall as he caught his breath. He closed his eyes and wished he was back in his room. He didn’t want Lafayette to know, he didn’t want anyone to know. He needed to be punished, he deserved it. He needed the pain to remind him to be good, to obey.

Alex opened his eyes again. His breath was evening out and it dawned on him that he didn’t know where he was. He silently cursed rich people for needing so much space just to shop. He took in his surroundings; ignoring the weird looks from the people passing by. He hoisted himself off the ground and began to wander in hopes of finding a map.

————

George ran as fast as he could, he tried desperately to keep track of where Alex had turned, but before he knew it, the small teen was swallowed by the crowds of people. It didn’t take long for Martha and Lafayette to catch up to him. Lafayette approaches first.

“Je suis désolé, I did not mean to make him take off!” Lafayette’s breath was strained. He panted, out of breath from trying to keep up with George. He had long legs, but George had military experience so any speed he could muster up was instantly beaten by George’s endurance.

“I lost sight of him. What happened, Gilbert? Why did he run?” George rubbed his face with his hands. Before Lafayette could speak, George started up again. “Never mind, son. Right now it’s not important. We need to contact security and see if we can find him. Hopefully he didn’t leave the building.” George said. Martha finally made it over, the clack of her heels echoing a bit in the high roof of the mall.

“Martha, I need you to go talk to security. Lafayette and I will split up and look for him. Everyone texts each other the moment either of us finds him, is that clear?” George ordered. After a confirming nod from his wife and son, George started off in the direction He last spotted Alex.

———

Alex was starting to panic a little. He found a map but he must have taken a wrong turn. None of the shops looked familiar and he was beginning to feel dumb for taking off so suddenly. He could have just said no. He could have denied it and maybe Lafayette would have left him alone about it. Maybe he would have kept pressing. Either way, it didn’t matter. His instincts kicked in and made him run. Now he was here- wherever he was- lost and alone.

He looked around frantically for something he recognized when he suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder. He flinched hard and quickly turned his body around to see who it was. In front of him stood a boy, not much taller than he was. His tanned skin covered in freckles and his curly hair pulled into a ponytail.

“Hey man, you alright?” The boy asked. A worried expression decorating his freckled face.

Alex stiffened and took a step back. “Huh?” He asked a bit confused as to what this boy wanted from him. He watched the hand hovering in front of him fall to the boy’s side.

“I said are you okay? You look pretty freaked out, dude.” The boy smiled.

Alex took notice of Hercules in the distance walking absentmindedly toward the two. He was holding two Starbucks cups and didn’t seem to see Alex until he was just behind the freckled teen.

“Alex, what are you doing here? Where is Laf?” Hercules’ brows furrowed in confusion.

“Herc, you know this kid? I found him wandering around like a lost puppy.” The boy spoke again.

“Oh!” Hercules exclaimed. “This is Alex, Laf’s new foster brother he’s been telling us about.” Hercules turned to Alex. “Alex, this is John! A mutual pain in the butt of Laf and I’s.” Hercules teased.

“Ah come on, man! Not cool!” The boy said with a grin. He made a small playful shove at Hercules.

Alex watched them so casually goof off in front of him. He stared at John with twinkling eyes. _John._  His brain echoed.

John turned back to Alex with a bright grin that Alex could have sworn was angelic. “Nice to meet you, Alex!” He stuck a hand out to Alex.

Alex hesitated for a second before gently gripping the hand and giving it a shake. “Likewise.” A moment passed where the two just stared into each other’s eyes.

‘Sinner.’ A deep male voice made its way into Alex’s brain. He pulled his hand away and looked at the ground, racked with shame.  
Hercules cleared his throat before breaking the slightly awkward silence that had taken over the conversation. “Well, anyway. Is lafayette here with you?” He asked.

Alex’s eyes went wide. In the excitement of meeting John, he had completely forgotten about how he just ran off and gotten lost. He sighed and brought his head up to look at Hercules. “I ran off and got lost.” He tried to hide his guilt, but it was obvious it didn’t work seeing as how Hercules just gave him a pat on the shoulder.

“Fret not, my dude. I’ll text Laf and tell him we found you.” He smiled and whipped out his cell. It didn’t take very long to get a reply, and when Hercules got Lafayette’s location, the three of them started off, making casual chatter along the way.


	14. Jamba Juice Superiority

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex, Herc, and John meet up with the washingtons. George pulls Alex aside to chat.

When Alex, accompanied by Hercules and John, met back up with the Washington family, he wasn’t prepared for the sudden strong hug he received from the French teen

 

 

 

 

“mon ami, j'avais tellement peur! Je suis désolé de t'avoir fait fuir, je ne savais pas que tu réagirais comme ça!” Lafayette was practically in tears. “Pardonne-moi! Je ne vous questionnerais pas à ce sujet, d'accord?” He said pulling away to cup Alex’s face.

“C'est bon, je suis désolé...” Alex muttered. He pulled his face from Lafayette’s hands and looked down in shame.

“Care to translate, boys?” Martha said. She was smiling but Alex could tell it was forced. Worry and confusion peeking out from behind it.

“It is okay, mère. I just asked little Alex about something he was not ready to share. It will not happen again, I promise.” Lafayette’s face was guilty. His tone seemed lighthearted but his facial expression was a dead giveaway for just how unsettled he was. Alex had ran the moment he felt unsafe and that- Lafayette had decided- was not a good sign.

“Alex, May I please talk to you for a moment?” George spoke up, his hand motioning to a nearby bench.Alex nodded and followed his order in silence.

“Martha, be a dear and take Gilbert to get some drinks?” George requested.

“Of course, sweetheart!” Martha placed a kiss on George’s cheek. She flashed a pitying look toward Alex that made a shiver climb up his spine. She grabbed Lafayette by the sleeve and the boy’s followed close behind.

George turned back to Alex who was sitting compliantly still on the bench. He strode over and took a seat next to the boy, making sure to leave some space. “Alex.” He started. “Please try not to run off like that.”

Alex detected a hint of anger in his voice. That’s the moment he realized he forgot to think about how he will be punished for running away. That’s why George had the rest of the group leave, he’s going to teach him not to misbehave right here in the open!

‘No that doesn’t make sense, George said he wouldn’t hurt me…’ His thoughts interjected.

George of course, had completely missed the inner turmoil Alex was going through. He was too fixed on his own hands clasped together resting on his lap. He kept talking, unaware of the boy’s anxiety.

“You really worried us! I can’t bear to think of what could have happened if you hadn’t bumped into Hercules and John.” George said. He finally looked over to Alex and saw the panic in the boy’s face.

“I’m sorry…” Alex’s voice trembled and tears pricked at his eyes. “I’m sorry sir…”

George closed the gap between them and embraced Alex. “It’s okay, just please, if Gilbert makes you uncomfortable again, I want you to speak up.” He pulled away after realizing he probably caused Alex a bit of discomfort over the contact. George looked Alex right in the eyes and spoke once more. “Do you want to tell me why you ran?” He asked.

Alex hesitated. He didn’t want George to know. They wouldn’t punish him so he had to do it; What if George decided to change his mind and he wanted to punish Alex instead? Alex pushes the thought away. He shook his head in lieu of a response.

George let out a concerned sigh. “Alright. If you change your mind, I want you to know you can always approach me. I mean it.” George stood from his seat and offered a hand to Alex.

Alex took a look at the hand and stood up on his own. He didn’t need the help, he was just fine. He didn’t need to talk with George, he had dealt with his issues on his own for as long as he could remember and he wasn’t about to start depending on other people. After all, that’s how you end up let down and hurt.

 

* * *

 

 

George and Alex met up with the rest of the group. It turned out they hadn’t even gotten around to the drinks yet; Lafayette had spent several minutes arguing that Jamba Juice was the best choice obviously. He was still in the middle of convincing Hercules to go there when Alex and Mr. Washington walked up.

“Père, please tell silly Herc that Jamba Juice is better!” Lafayette demanded pointing a finger at his friend.

“I’m sorry Laf, Dairy Queen is better! I just think Jamba Juice is overpriced bull!” Hercules argued right back.

Lafayette scoffed throwing up his arms as if he had heard the most ridiculous thing. “Dairy Queen does not even have the word juice in the name! And Jamba is not at all more overpriced than Dairy Queen! The cost for a small blizzard is terrible!” Lafayette snapped.

“Boys-“ George interrupted. “We don’t have to all get one thing.” He said.

Both Lafayette and Hercules stopped their bickering to look at George.

“Hercules, go ahead and get whatever you wish, it’s my treat. And Gilbert,” George turned to Lafayette. “Stop being so bossy to your friends! Just go get your Jamba Juice and stop causing trouble, understand son?” He handed Lafayette and Hercules both a twenty-dollar bill.

Lafayette smiled as if it was his plan all along. “Merci, Père! I will be good now!” He said before scampering off into the masses filling the food court, Hercules at his side.

George sighed and turned to John. “John, son, is there anything you would like to get?” He asked.

John smiled and by god did it make Alex’s heart flutter. “No sir, it’s all good. I have my allowance with me, so I have plenty of cash.” John replied. He looked over at Alex for a second.

Alex felt his face burn bright red. He didn’t mean to stare, he just couldn’t help himself. It was easy to get lost in the constellations of freckles dancing their way across john’s skin. He looked down at his feet in an attempt to hide his blushing cheeks.

“Are you going to get anything, Alex?” John spoke up.

Alex’s gaze shot back up to the boy’s eyes. “…what?”

“I was asking if you were going to get something.”

Alex blinked repeatedly all the while unconsciously making eye contact with the other boy. “Oh… um, yes, I mean no, I mean, uh… I’m okay.” Alex practically tripped over his words. He hoped his answer was less flustered than he felt but the chance of that was undoubtedly low.

John let out a snicker. “Come on!” He said turning toward where Lafayette and Hercules has disappeared to.

Alex looked briefly to George as if to ask for permission. George didn’t say anything, only motioned with a tilt of the head toward John. All the while, a smile Alex couldn’t quite grasp the meaning of lighting up his face.

Alex took a breath, regained his composure, and started off after John. He wasn’t sure what the boy was up to, but his curiosity burned inside him like a fire.

John was a strange fellow. Alex didn’t need any fancy fruit drinks or whatever and yet- here John was, buying him a mango-pineapple smoothie. He didn’t even ask Alex if he liked either of those fruits, he just went ahead and did his own thing.

“You look like a tropical kind of guy.” John stated as he handed the styrofoam cup to Alex; a smile bright and beaming.

The teen gave John a perplexed look. Did he know Alex was from a tropical island? It’s entirely possible, that tidbit of information could have easily been in his file, and if Lafayette had seen the file, he could have just as easily told his friends. However, the question still remains; why would John go out of his way to bring it up? Unless… he was picking on his immigrant status?

Alex scowled and handed the cup back to John quite forcefully. He stormed off in the direction he last saw George and Martha.

“Alex! Wait! What’s wrong? Did I do something?” John shouted as he followed after Alex. “Hey man, stop!” He grabbed Alex’s arm.

Alex tried his best not to wince at the still-sore bruises that were squeezed by John’s hand, but at this point he didn’t care as much if he was in pain. He yanked his arm from John’s grip and swirled around to face him.

“I don’t appreciate being made fun of.” He spit out. “Yes I’m an immigrant from a tropical island, you don’t need to shove it in my face that I don’t belong here!”

John was thoroughly confused. He hadn’t intended to offend Alex, he just wanted to buy him a smoothie! “Wait, What? What on earth are you talking about?” He followed after Alex again.

“Oh, like you didn’t know! Mr.you-look-like-a-tropical-kind-of-guy!” Alex finally had gotten back to Martha and George who were seated at a table on the far side of the food court. He plopped down next to Martha and folded his arms.

John rested a knee on the seat next to Alex. “I was just trying to be nice, I really had no idea!”

Alex softened a bit. His brows still furrowed, but in place of the anger he had felt minutes ago, was embarrassment over how bent out of shape he got. “You really didn’t know?” He asked, carefully watching John's face to gauge his reaction.

“No no no, of course not! Dude, I’m half Hispanic, I would never poke fun at someone for being an immigrant!” John was desperate to assure Alex that he hadn’t intended for any of this.

Alex thought for a bit. He felt his temper diffuse as he let out a sight and smiled pathetically up at John. “I believe you. I’m sorry for getting so upset.”

John relaxed into the seat beside Alex. “It’s fine man, I’m really sorry.” He shifted nervously a bit. “Do you… still want the drink?” He asked nervously.

Alex hesitated. He didn’t want John’s money to go to waste. It would be rude if he didn’t take it. “Sure.”

John’s face lit up with a that smile Alex loved so much. He smiled in turn and took the drink John was handing him.

 

* * *

 

 

The rest of the mall trip went smoothly. After they had gathered copious amounts of new clothes and other supplies for Alex, they dropped John and Hercules off at their respective homes. Though, Alex could have sworn something was different with John’s smile as we waved goodbye and trekked up to the front door of his house. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but the way the corners of his mouth seemed a bit forced up into that smiling position made Alex feel uneasy. He tried his best to brush it off as the car pulled away heading back to the Washington estate.

 

* * *

 

 

Alex and Lafayette spent the rest of the day watching Disney movies. So far, they had watched Cinderella, Big Hero Six, the Hunchback of Notre Dame- again-, and now they were about to put in a movie called Lilo & Stitch.

The movie started out interesting. The strange little alien escaping from authorities definitely captivated him. However, when it got more into the story about the sisters, Alex felt a churn in his gut. He listened intently at the little girl explained how her parents died because of a storm. He tried to hold back his tears, but the connection he felt to this poor child living on an island with the world against her, alone, it just made him break down. Lafayette crawled across the couch and placed a hand on Alex’s shoulder.

“Mon ami, are you okay?” He asked, worry clear cut in his eyes.

Alex didn’t reply he just turned into Lafayette’s shoulder and sobbed. Lafayette sat back on his legs and held Alex. He pulled him in tight and whisper gentle comforts until Alex had ceased into sniffles. Lafayette re-positioned Alex onto his lap and cradled the small teen.

“Suis-je autorisé à demander ce qui vous a rendu si triste?” Lafayette asked.

Alex bit his lip. He didn’t mind the sting of the split reopening. “Quand j'étais sur Nevis…” he started; his voice harsh from crying. “Mon papa avait nous quitté quand il a découvrir que je n'étais pas le sien… ensuite ma maman… je n'ai pas compris dans le temps mais-" his breath shuddered. “Elle avait vendue elle-même pour nous maintenir à flot. Et je ne pouvais pas faire juste par elle; Je l'ai malade et elle-“ his crying picked up again as he recalled the painful memories. “Elle avait essayé si fort de le battre et... j'ai la tuée-“ sobs racked through his body. “Elle me tenait quand-“ his breath quickened and suddenly he couldn’t breathe. He tried to gasp for air but all he got was a choking feeling strangling his airways.

Lafayette shushed him as he gentle ran his fingers in soothing circles on his back. “Alex, it’s okay, I need you to count with me, okay?”

Alex nodded as best he could.

“Un, deux, trois, quatre, tenez, Cinq, six, sept, huit.”

Alex felt his chest rise and fall with the counting. His breath was shaky, but after a few more times, it seemed to even out.

He stared at the wall wishing he was still back on Nevis. Wishing his mother hadn’t fallen ill, but he knew wishing couldn’t change this.

“Alex, je veux que tu m'écoutes, ce n'était pas ta faute. Je sais que c'est comme ça, mais vous ne l'avez pas tuée!” Lafayette hoped the words made any difference.

“Je ne pouvais pas… je ne pouvais pas sembler mourir…” Alex stated as his eyes darted around blankly. “Mon cousin… il m'a pris chez moi mais je suppose que j'étais trop difficile à gérer… un jour, je suis rentré de l'école et j'ai trouvé son cadavre suspendu dans le salon...” Alex kept talking as if he had disconnected from himself entirely.

Lafayette just listened, horrified to learn that which Alex had lived through. It was no wonder Alex had been hurting himself, but something deep inside Lafayette told him there was more. More reason to hurt, to make himself hurt.

Alex couldn’t bring himself to say anymore. He nuzzled his face into Lafayette’s chest. Lafayette hugged Alex tight. He tightened the embrace as tears began to roll down his eyes.

“Tu n'es plus seul, Alex. Je suis vraiment désolée d’entendre à quel point vous souffrez et je serai toujours là pour vous aider et pour vous écouter lorsque vous en aurez besoin.”

Alex was too tired to fight his own emotions, he allowed himself to cry it out with Lafayette.

They continued the movie in that position and as the credits rolled, Lafayette realized Alex had dozed off. He looked down and admired the peaceful look Alex had when asleep. A smile made its way onto his face as he thanked the heavens that Alex finally had started opening up to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> translations in order:
> 
> "my friend, I was so scared! I'm sorry I made you run away, I didn't know you would react that way!"  
> "please forgive me! I won't ask you about it, okay?"  
> "It's okay I'm sorry..."  
> \------  
> "Am I allowed to ask what made you so sad?"  
> "When I was on Nevis…"  
> "My papa left us when he found out I wasn’t his… and then my mama… I didn’t understand at the time but-"  
> "She sold herself to keep us afloat. And I couldn’t do right by her; I got her sick and she-"  
> "She tried so hard to push through and I killed her-"  
> "She was holding me when-"  
> "One, two, three, four, hold, Five, six, seven, eight."  
> "Alex, I want you to listen to me, it was not your fault. I know it feels that way, but you did not kill her!"  
> "I couldn’t… I couldn’t seem to die…"  
> "My cousin… H-he took me in but I guess I was too much for him to handle… I got home from school one day and found his corpse hanging in the living room."  
> "You aren’t alone anymore, Alex. I’m so sorry to hear how much pain you’ve carried with you, and I will always be here to help you and listen when you need it."


	15. The Night Before School (TW!)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner goes okay, but Alex has a battle with past demons. (TW! Depictions of self harm in this chapter!)

 

 

 

 

Dinner time rolled around. Martha has just finished up the last of the Chicken Parmesan with a side of zucchini. She strolled into George’s office and gave a gentle knock on the door.

“Come in.” She heard George say on the other side.

Martha turned the knob and pushed it open. She was welcomed by the familiar sight of her husband crouched over the computer, furiously typing away with a glare from the monitor lighting up his reading glasses.

“Dinner is done, dear.” She declared. She smiled when he looked up at her, a little distracted.

“I’ll be there in a minute, save my plate. I’ve just got a few more sentences to write and I’ll be done.” He said looking back at his screen.

“George, sweetie, we’ve talked about this. The documents can wait. Dinner time is family time!” She scolded putting her hands on her hips.

George knew better than to argue. He chuckled and save the document before closing the laptop.

“Yes, of course, love.” He got up from the desk and stretched. He walked over to Martha and wrapped his arms around her waist. They looked into each other’s eyes briefly before kissing. It wasn’t a long kiss, or even a passionate one, but both parties could feel the love behind it, as they always had.

“Will you set the table? I’m going to get the kids.” Martha asked once they had broken off the kiss.

“I certainly can, love.” George said. He gave her one last smooch on the cheek before they moved out into the hall.

 

* * *

 

Martha walked over to the family room and beamed at the sight of Alexander curled on top of Lafayette. She had never seen Alex so comfortable with another person like that. It made it feel almost criminal to disrupt the scene before her, but she was a mom who had a job to do.

“Gilbert, dear, Dinner is ready.” She said. He looked up at her and she noticed the tear stains on his cheeks. Her smile fell from her face. “What’s wrong?” She asked, worried.

Lafayette gently wiped his face, careful not to move too suddenly and wake Alex. “It is nothing, I am okay.” He assured.

Martha frowned. She didn’t like seeing her son torn up like this. She wanted to help any way she could, but she guessed it wasn’t something she could help with. “And Alex?” She asked hesitantly.

Lafayette pursed his lips. His brows furrowed with to many emotions for Martha to pick apart. “I do not think he is okay, mère. He told me a few things that were terrible. I knew he was in bad shape, but Martha, I did not know it was this bad.” Lafayette absentmindedly rubbed his thumb on Alex’s hand. Martha felt a pang of concern hit her heart.

“He did not say so, but I feel there is more. He has only told me a small piece and yet, it is already this painful.”

Martha wanted to rush over and hold both the teens as tight as she could. That thought was interrupted when Alex started to stir. He made small whimpers that broke both Lafayette and Martha’s hearts.

“It’s okay, little Alex. It’s okay, you are safe.” Lafayette said in an attempt to comfort the sleeping teen.

Alex stopped whimpering and his eyes fluttered open. “Laf?” He asked in a sleepy voice. He rubbed his eyes as he sat up in Lafayette’s lap.

“Yes, mon ami, I am here” Lafayette replied.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” Alex said, still groggy from waking up.

“You are fine.”

Alex glanced at Martha momentarily before returning his focus to Lafayette. Somehow he felt even more tired than before. “How long was I out?” He asked carefully sliding off Lafayette’s lap onto the cushion beside him.

“Not long. Only about fifteen minutes.” Lafayette replied.

Alex stretched his arms out and relaxed into the seat. “Oh.” Was all he said.

“Dinner is done, would you possibly wash up and head to the dining room? George is setting up the table tonight.” Martha spoke up.

Lafayette gave an enthusiastic nod, immediately perking up at the mention of food. “Of course, mère, we will do that right now.” Lafayette hopped off the couch whilst Alex slowly stood.

Martha gave a warm smile. “Alright, don’t take too long!”

_More food…_ Alex thought. _It’s going to take a while to get used to this._

 

* * *

 

Lafayette was the first to wash his hands. The two boys conversed about Alex attending school tomorrow and once Lafayette was done, Alex approached the sink. He silently debated over whether or not to roll his sleeves up. He decided, just because Lafayette knew, that didn’t mean he needed to see the lines along his arms. He hesitantly pushed his sleeves up just enough to expose his hands and nothing more. Lafayette noticed the thought out motion for privacy, but did nothing to bring it up. He already made Alex bolt last time he tried to confront Alex about things like this, he couldn’t stand it if it happened again.

“So are you excited?” Lafayette decided to say in lieu of berating Alex with questions.

Alex was a bit focused on not getting his sleeves wet, so the last thing Lafayette expected was a long winded reply.

“I’m very excited. I love learning, I love school, it’s the only thing that keeps me sane. I want to go to college and if I do well in school, I can do that.”

Lafayette was a bit taken back. He wasn’t sure he had ever heard Alex talk that much before. It made him quite happy to see Alex opening up so much. However, he didn’t want to ruin the moment, so he continued the conversation without delay.

“What will you study if you go to college?” He asked.

Alex was mid-drying his hands. He stopped and thought on the question. “Political science. I’ll probably major in that, second in journalism. Maybe more, if they let me.” He finished up drying his hands and walked with Lafayette down the hall.

“George would be very happy to hear you say this; He is a senator after all. And if you stay with us I am sure George and Martha will pay for any tuition you will need.” Lafayette sounded very sure of himself.

Alex looked straight at Lafayette in the eyes. “I don’t need charity. I’ll get a scholarship on my own.” The fire in Alex’s eyes twinkled and flickered all the while raging like an inferno. Lafayette wanted to correct Alex, explain it wasn’t charity, but that ignition of passion threw him for a loop. He could do nothing but peer back into those big brown lonely eyes, wondering, how Alex was able to hide this fire before? His pondering was cut short as they arrived at the dining room. He watched in what felt like slow motion as Alex turned his head to the floor as the two entered the room.

And just like that. The fire was gone. In an instant it vanished as if it had never existed. This left Lafayette entirely curious and eager to see the next spark that would arise from his little Alex.

 

* * *

 

Dinner had gone relatively quiet thus far. Alex had taken to absentmindedly pushing the food around his plate. He secretly regretted crying in front of Lafayette. It weighed on him heavier than he preferred. He took a few bites here and there but honestly, he wasn’t really that hungry.

“Alex, dear, is something wrong?” Martha said.

“Huh?” Alex looked up at her. “Oh… No I’m fine.” He tried to say it as convincing as he could manage.

“If you’re not hungry, you can excuse yourself if you’d like.” George stated.

Alex would feel bad if he left everyone here.

‘What if they want to talk about me and that’s why they want me to leave?’

He pushed the thought away as best he could. “No, it’s okay.” Alex replied. He shoveled a few bites into his mouth in an attempt to clear his plate.

The clinks of dish ware filled the room in an awkward silence. Alex wasn’t sure if the tension was caused by him, but he didn’t like it.

“So you’ll be starting school tomorrow.” George brought up, trying to excuse the awkwardness from the room. “That’s pretty exciting, wouldn’t you say?”

Alex had a mouthful of noodles, so he nodded in reply.

“Gilbert, sweetie, make sure to help Alex find his way around the school grounds. Wouldn’t want him getting lost on the first day!” Martha said with a gentle touch of Lafayette’s hand.

“Of course, Martha, I remember what it is like to be the new kid. At least Alex is lucky, he will have many friends!” Lafayette beamed in Alex’s direction. It made him flash a smile in turn, but not too intensely.

 

* * *

 

Dinner had continued as to be expected, and soon everyone was off to bed in their respective rooms. Alex laid silently trying once more to use the bed. His eyes fixed on the cream white ceiling above him, and his thoughts drifted from memory to memory. His mother, those hurt; His cousin, those hurt too; the hurricane… that hurt almost too much to bear. He rolled onto his side and let out a deep breath. His eyes snapped open and let them adjust to the glowing red light of the alarm clock. One twelve A.M., it said.

School was at eight o’clock, which meant he had to be up at six thirty to eat breakfast, shower, and drive down to the school. If he was to make a sensible first impression with his teachers, getting some shut eye was essential. He didn’t want to look like the zombie he constantly felt like. So, to the floor it was. He tossed down a blanket and pillow just as he had the night before, and crept down to the plush carpet. He settled into the covers as though that was his true bed. He didn’t mean for his body to be this way, goodness knows, he wanted more than anything to appreciate the crazy soft bed he had been blessed with. However, No matter how hard he tried, the floor just suited him better.

_It’s because you don’t deserve it._  A voice rang through his head, deep and masculine. He flopped the pillow over his face to block it out. He didn’t want to think of **him**. He didn’t want to be reminded of how **filthy** he was. How filthy **he** made him. He wept silently, letting the pillow muffle his choking sobs.

_Look at how you are treated,_  the voice continued. _You haven’t done anything to deserve this._

The voice shook Alex to his core. He couldn’t take it anymore, he **had** to punish himself. It was the only way to make sure the voice would go away. He sprung up into a sitting position and pulled the backpack onto his lap. His hands were shaking, but it didn’t stop him. He zipped it open, practically manhandling the contents inside until he found the pencil sharpener. He shoved it into his pocket and rushed to the door. With a swift motion, he unlocked it and pried it open, heading for the bathroom.

_All you deserve is **pain**_  the voice rang out once more.

He double, triple checked the lock and anxiously peeled the sweater from his torso. He didn’t even bother looking in the mirror this time, he just went straight for his right forearm. His whimpering from the pain didn’t even register in his brain. Alex bumped into the wall and slid down to the floor.

“I deserve this.” He parroted quietly to no one but himself.

Alex spent some time like that, crying, watching the red drip down from his arm. Once the voice had dissipated and his head was clear again, he picked himself up off the floor, cleaned up any mess, and headed back to his room.

His methods were unorthodox, and he knew this. Still, it’s not like he had any other means to cope.

That night as he laid back in his spot on the floor, he drifted off to sleep with the weight of his undeserving self crushing him until he simply could not fight the need to rest any longer.


	16. Dawn Of The First Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex starts his morning for the first day of school. Things seem to be going relatively well, and Alex can't help but feel anxious to start his academic journey back up.

A knock on the door startled Alex from his slumber. He shot up onto his knees and looked at the alarm clock. Six thirty on the dot. He hadn’t meant to sleep the rest of the night through, but was grateful nevertheless.

“Alex, are you awake?” Lafayette said from the other side of the door.

“Yeah, I’m up.” Alex replied. He rubbed his eyes with his palms and worked himself off the floor. A yawn and a stretch made its way out. He looked at the bag of new clothes sitting in front of his closet, untouched. He didn’t want to wear them, but he feared the scoldings or worse, punishments, he might receive if he didn’t. Alex sighed and made the few steps to the bag of clothes. He rustled through the garments until he made a choice. He settled on an emerald green shirt, gray jeans, a pair of black socks, and the new pair of DC shoes he had tried, and failed, to refuse.

His hands hovered over the jacket they had purchased for him. He gently lifted it from it’s spot in the bag and admired the beautiful true blue color it had. He supposed it would be a crime to let perfectly good wearable clothes just sit in a bag to collect dust. Alex draped the jacket over his arm where the rest of the clothes hung, and picked up the shoes with his other hand.

Another knock came to the door. “Alex, I am going to shower now.” Lafayette spoke once again from the other side.

“Okay.” Alex replied.

Looks like he would have to skip the shower. He glanced over and inspected the knob to make sure it was locked. When he confirmed that it indeed was, he stripped and quickly dressed himself. It had been a while since he wore new clothes, the feeling was a bit strange to Alex. Foreign, but not unwelcome. He looked at himself in the mirror hanging on the wall adjacent to the end of his bed. He looked… normal. Almost like an average teenager with an average day to day life. Truth be told, envisioning what that life could look like, made his heart ache. He dismissed the pain of a life that could never be, heading back to the bags to get the brush. He had to admit, even if it was most likely temporary, he would absolutely enjoy living in the lap of- according to his terms- luxury. As he stared back in the mirror, untangling his mane, he pondered if perhaps the Washington’s knew just how lucky they were to have a life such as theirs.

 

* * *

 

Breakfast was just as piled up on the table as yesterday’s. The amount of food these people possessed, let alone ate, was astounding. Alex couldn’t imagine just how they were able to eat so damn much every single day! It was downright preposterous! However they planned to gorge themselves, Alex stuck to his one pancake, some grapes, and a pastry. He ate quickly, eager to head off to the school.

“Slow down, Alex! You’re going to choke!” George teased with a chuckle.

Alex could tell he was poking fun, but even so, he slowed. “Sorry, sir.”

“You can call me George, you know. You don’t have to address me so formally.” George took a bite of his pancakes, only taking his eyes off Alex for a moment.

In the moment without peering eyes, Alex let himself feel the churn in his stomach.

“No thank you, sir.” He replied a little too fast.

There was no way he would be tricked into that again. It started with dropping the formality and led to worse things. He would never be able to call someone George, not after **him**. The name left a permanent bad taste in his mouth that would forever stain the combination of letters in a way he could never imagine scrubbing clean.

George gave Alex a questioning look, but accepted Alex’s decision. “Well, if you insist.” He simply said.

The rest of the meal went relatively quiet and soon enough, everyone set off for the day.

 

* * *

 

George, Lafayette, and Alex pulled into a parking space on school property. The boy’s begin to unbuckle as George turns to face them.

“Now remember, Gilbert will show you around to your classes and help you settle in. For now, he has to get to first period, but I’ll see to it that you get at least a similar schedule. It will take a bit to get you properly enrolled, so just hang tight until then. Understood?”

“Understood, sir.” Alex gives a nod with his reply. He tried not to show the anxiousness to get into classes. It would be a nice break from having to deal with the Washington's somewhat helicopter foster parenting.

“Do not worry, Alex will do just fine! Right?” Lafayette chimed in, first addressing George but switching to Alex. The bright smile on Lafayette’s face seemed wider than usual.

 

* * *

 

The inside of the school’s front office was just as fancy and impressive as he would have expected. From the both outside and in, Alex could tell it was a rich person’s world. He couldn’t lie to himself, it did make him nervous.

As he sat in the plastic waiting room chair, his thumbs twiddled nervously awaiting George’s return. He was currently held up in the principals office, getting Alex’s enrollment set up.

Just as Alex glanced around the room; taking in the all-too-familiar education supporting poster all schools seem to have, the door clicked open and out came George.

“All seems to be in order, Mr. Washington. I will get back to you on the schedule soon as I can.” Principle Adams stated as he exited his office closely behind George. “Have him follow Gilbert around for the day, I will inform the teachers of his arrival.”

George turned and the gentlemen exchanged a handshake. Alex watched as Principal Adams headed back into his office. George made his way over to Alex.

“Gilbert should be starting second period now; I’ll walk you over, alright?” George extended a hand toward the door, motioning for Alex to walk first. Something flashed across George’s face; a look Alex couldn't quite see through; a thought perhaps making its way through his mind. He withdrew his hand and headed out the door first, assuming Alex would follow suit. And he did.

The moment left Alex a bit curious as to what made George decide to take the lead, but he didn’t press it. He didn’t want to try his luck at questioning an authority figure. That never ended well. Instead, he followed obediently.

 

* * *

 

Lafayette was already making his way into class when he saw George and Alex approaching from a distance. He enthusiastically waved them down as if they didn’t already see him.

“Alex!” He exclaimed, excited to start his day with his new classroom buddy. By the time the two reached Lafayette, the rest of the students had already entered the classroom.

“Alex, we must hurry! Second period is about to start!” Lafayette was over-zealously giddy for nine o’clock in the morning. Then again, that seemed to be the norm for him as far as Alex could tell. “Merci, mon Père! We will see you after school, oui?” Lafayette practically shouted at George.

“Actually, Martha will be picking you up today. I have a meeting downtown. See you at home though, boys!” George waved and began making the walk back to the car.

Lafayette waved back and pulled Alex by the sleeve. It seemed that would be a continuing habit of his. Alex let himself be tugged along through the door frame leading into the classroom.

 _This should be fun._ Alex scoffed to himself.


	17. The Lunchroom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex survives his first day of school. He meets two new friends of Lafayette.

Alex made sure to keep his head down as Lafayette led him to a desk in the back. He plopped down in the seat next to Lafayette and set his backpack on the floor to his left. He took a quick glance around the room and suddenly found himself under the gaze of many other students. He whipped his head back down to stare at his lap to avoid accidentally making eye contact.

“You must be Mr. Hamilton. Welcome to the school! Would you care to make an introduction?” The teacher called out from the front of the room.

Alex lifted his head only slightly as he stood from his seat. He had introduced himself many times before, so by this point his speech was well prepared. “My name is Alex, I’m 15, my passion is writing and I’m looking forward to my time here.” He finished up his introduction and sat back down quickly.

“Well, Alex, it’s great to meet you. My name is Mrs. Ramsey. It’s good you have a passion for writing as this is language arts!” The teacher turned to face the white board. The squeaks the dry erase marker made helped Alex release the tension in his shoulders. “Today we will be discussing description based off point of view.”

 

* * *

 

The rest of the morning went about the same as second period; Introduction after introduction, Alex found it absolutely grueling. By the time lunch came around, Alex was impossibly bored. He did his best to hide it, not wanting to make Lafayette feel bad for him.

“Alex, I am totally starving!” Lafayette whined, crossing his arms over his stomach.

His dramatics got an amused chuckle out of Alex. “You ate enough for three people this morning.”

Lafayette crossed arms and stuck his tongue out. “I am a growing boy, mon petit ami. A lot of food is necessary for me to grow!”

Alex laughed. “I don’t think you could grow much more, Laf.”

They arrived at the lunchroom door. Lafayette pushed it open and held it open for Alex.

“I will grow as much as I like!” Lafayette shouted over the loud chatter from the students already eating.

The two teens got in line. As they inched forward, Lafayette scanned the crowd.

“If anyone needs to grow, it’s me.” Alex shouted back.

“Then why do you eat so little if you wish to grow?”

Alex shrugged in response. He wasn’t sure how to explain his lack of nutrition over the years. His stomach had always been smaller than average, even as a child. He noticed Lafayette still scanning the crowds. “Who are you looking for?” He asked.

“My friends!” Lafayette explained.

Alex turned to scan the crowds as well. He didn’t make much progress; They were at the front of the line now. Lafayette stepped up to the cafeteria register. Alex continued scanning the crowd while he waited for Lafayette to finish ordering. He spotted John at a table next to Hercules. They seemed to be talking to someone Alex didn’t recognize. He was tall like Lafayette and had a curly dark brown Afro. He wondered who the boy was, he seemed to talk to the boy on his right quite a bit. From the back he looked a bit like Hercules, but Alex could tell the boy’s skin was a few shades darker than his. As well as he didn’t wear the trademark beanie that Hercules seemed to sport often.

“What are you going to get, Alex?”

Lafayette’s voice interrupted Alex’s train of thought. He looked back at Lafayette with a slightly confused look.

“Oh um… I wasn’t going to get anything.” Alex replied.

Lafayette gave him a weird face. “Why not? Are you not hungry? You did not eat much at breakfast.”

Alex blushed a little, embarrassed. “It’s not that, it’s just..” he bit his bottom lip, unsure how to explain that he didn’t have money. He reached for the change in his pants pocket and pulled it out. “How much does it cost?” He mentally counted the coins in his palm while talking. “I don’t have much, but if you want me to get something I can-“ He was interrupted by Lafayette closing Alex’s change filled palm.

“Mon ami, save your money. I will pay for you today and talk to George and Martha when we go home.” Lafayette turned back to the lunch lady and got another order of whatever he got himself.

Alex stood still, eyes darting uncomfortably around the room, guilt riding the back of his mind. He didn’t mean for Lafayette to think he was asking for a handout, he hadn’t planned to get Lafayette to speak to the Washington’s. What was there to talk about anyway? He had always paid for his own lunches which meant he was used to skipping the meal. He didn’t expect them to pay for it no matter how rich they are. Lafayette turned back around to face him and motioned toward the second tray that had appeared on the line. Alex grabbed it keeping his head low. He compliantly followed Lafayette down the line as the taller teen filled it up with extra food. They started walking out into the crowded table areas.

“This is not charity, d’accord? I am only buying lunch for a friend. It is kindness!” Lafayette gleamed.

Alex visibly loosened. _Kindness. Huh._ His inner monologue repeated. If the Washington’s had been anything to him since he arrived, he guessed kindness could be a good word to use. Though he couldn't help but bite his lip at the thought. _It starts with kindness and leads to pain_ His thoughts continued. He followed behind Lafayette with his tray of food, once again keeping his head down. Lafayette lead them to the table Alex had spotted earlier.

“Alex, my dude!” Exclaimed John the moment he laid eyes on the boy. He motioned for Alex to sit between him and the spot Lafayette had taken next to Hercules who had scooted over to make room for the new additions to their table. Alex mimicked Lafayette’s movements and sat down to join the group.

“Little Alex, meet my dear friends Thomas and James!” Lafayette spoke excitedly as he pointed to the two teens sitting across from them. “Thomas is the one I told you about, you know, the one who speaks French like us?”

Alex lifted his head a bit to take in the faces before him. Turns out, he hadn’t been mistaken earlier. James did have quite a bit of similarity to Hercules; On the other hand, he was surprised to see Thomas himself looked a great deal like Lafayette. Different enough, however, that one could spot a noticeable difference in their features. The thing that stood out the most, however, was his over-the-top entirely purple outfit.

“It’s a pleasure.” Alex greeted sticking a hand out.

Thomas looked at the hand with a lifted brow. He returned the handshake giving him a once over. Alex felt his skin crawl at the way Thomas seemed to be visually dissecting him. “The pleasure’s all mine.” He replied. No smile nor any sign of actually caring about Alex was on his face. The thick southern accent was definitely a surprise, though. Alex fought a snicker when the very southern term  _Plum Tuckered_ popped into his head.

“You must be the new foster brother Laf was so ecstatic for us to meet.” James added with a small cough.

Alex gave a small nod to confirm. He silently hoped Lafayette hadn’t spilled the beans on everything, like how he was from the Caribbean and an orphan. Thomas had gone back to typing away on his phone, seemingly ignoring Alex’s presence, to which Alex was grateful for. He turned his attention back to James. “I’m Alex.”

“So what is the juicy gossip for today?” Lafayette piped up looking at Hercules and John.

“Well first off,” Hercules started. “Mrs. Bolton went on pregnancy leave, so now we have a substitute.-” He continued talking but Alex turned out the chatter. He felt so out of place, not to mention guilty for making Lafayette buy him food. If it weren’t for the tap on his left shoulder, Alex wasn’t sure if he would have snapped back to reality.

“Hey Alex, what’s your next class?” John asked with a smile.

“Oh um… I’m not sure.” Alex looked to Lafayette waiting for a moment where he could interrupt his gossiping. When he found an opening, he gave a gentle tug to the boy’s sleeve.

“Yes?”

“John wants to know what our next class is.” Alex asked in a small voice. Interrupting conversations made his stomach flip. He didn’t like budding in where he didn’t belong.

“Oh!” Lafayette exclaimed. He leaned forward to see John better. “Next class is P.E. For us.”

John made a disgusted face. “Ugh, P.E. is the worst. Mr. Reynolds teaches that class; he’s such a creep.” He said switching to look at Alex halfway through. “Last year, his wife divorced him after she found out he had a nineteen-year-old secret girlfriend.”

Alex cringed at that.

“I heard a rumor that she used to go here, which makes it way worse.” John stated matter-of-factly.

Alex listened Intently as John talked about the rest of their teachers and his opinion on them. He took a few bites here and there while the table continued with their gossip. John did most of the talking, but it didn’t seem to bother him. When everyone else finished their food, Alex realized he still had quite a bit of food left on his plate. No one said anything though, when he got up from the table with the rest of the group to dump their trays. Lunch period ended and everyone said their goodbyes before taking off to the next class. As Alex followed Lafayette down the school’s corridor, the warmth in his chest grew. It was nice to be around such welcoming people for a change. A smile slowly grew on his face throughout the day. Even if constant introductions were tiresome, at least he had some friends to eat with, and that was more than he had hoped for.


	18. A Fight And Another

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex causes some trouble after school ends, but shit really hits the fan once everyone makes it back home. (A lot unloaded this chapter, guys!)

The end of the school day came with a ring of the bell, just as every day at school would end. Alex hung out with Lafayette and his friends, keeping his thoughts to himself. He didn’t want to speak out of turn, or worse, say something to make anyone hate him. However, when the subject of the lower class, came up, he found it hard to resist the urge to speak up.

“I’m just saying,” Thomas spoke up. “If the lower class citizens just worked harder and didn’t have so many damn kids, they would be so poor.” Thomas folded his arms in what Alex would describe as a cocky manner.

Alex’s blood was boiling. His lip curled into a snarl and he bit his lower lip. ‘Just keep quiet, just keep quiet.’ He told himself in an attempt to simmer down.

“And furthermore, if they go to college like sensible folk, they would end up in a better paying position.” Thomas added.

It was no use. Alex had to put this pompous asshole in his place. “Excuse me, but it’s seems you are mistaken. If someone can work forty hours a week on minimum wage and just barely make rent, how on earth would they have the funds for college? Or even contraceptives for that matter. People like _you_ always insist that college is not class gateway, and yet in the same breath say that if you want to be in a better class, you should go to college. Also, lower class folk work _ten times harder_ than higher class folk _ever_ will. There are broke teens _right now_ working a minimum wage job to help support their family, while they should be at school learning! Saying that they aren’t working hard is ignorant _at best!_ ” Alex was out of breath by the time he was done ranting.

Everyone was in a stunned silence. Thomas scoffed at Alex’s explosive fulmination. “People like _me?!_ I beg your pardon, I don’t know what you mean; you forget yourself! See, this is why uncultured _rats_ like you shouldn’t be let into this country. You’re nothing but _heathens_!”

And that’s what did it. Alex lunged forward and pushed his shoulder straight into Thomas’s stomach. The tall teen fell back on the cement, Alex on top. He slammed his small fists on Thomas’s forearms in anger repeatedly. Lafayette and James rushed to Alex, pulling him off Thomas.

“What the _hell_ is wrong with you?” Thomas called out once he was upright again. He turned to Lafayette who was holding back a still-fuming Alex. “Lafayette, I hope you don’t seriously intend to keep him.”

“Keep me?!” Alex asked incredulously. “I’m not some kind of _mangy pet!_ ”

“Well you’re an orphaned immigrant _nobody_. That’s **close enough.** ” With that, Thomas walked off and James followed.

“Oh, attends que je mette la main sur lui. Il va payer pour cela!” Alex’s rapid French was a good indicator that he was more than furious at this point.

“Alex, vous ne lui mettrez pas la main. Vous l’avez déjà attaqué, c’est trop loin. George et Martha ne seront pas contents de ça.” Lafayette scowled and crossed his arms.

Alex took a second to let the words sink in. “Shit.” He let out a sigh. He let out a deep sigh and dig his hands in his pocket. His brow furrowed in frustration.

 

* * *

 

The car pulled up with Martha in the drivers seat. When Alex and Lafayette got in, there was an eerie silence between the two.

“How was your first day, sweetie? Did you make any new friends?” Martha was chipper and excited to hear all about it.

“No.” Was the only reply Alex could muster. It was a half truth, but truth nevertheless.

“Alex got into a fight with Thomas.” Lafayette clarified.

Martha stopped and looked at Alex with wide eyes. “Oh….”

“Laf! C'est quoi ce bordel?!” Alex gave him an angry face.

“Quoi? Je ne me tais pas, tu as battu mon ami!” Lafayette snapped back.

“Vous auriez pu au moins mieux l'exprimer! De plus, il le méritait totalement! Il m'a appelé un rat!” Alex spat.

“Boys!” Martha shouted. Instantly, both teens shut their mouths. “We will discuss this when George gets home. In the meantime, I don’t want to hear a peep from you two!” Martha shifted the car into drive and pulled out of the parking lot.

 

* * *

 

The ride home was quiet, tension filling the gaps where bodies weren’t. They arrived home not twenty minutes later, and both Lafayette and Alex stormed off to their respective rooms. Martha was at a loss. She hadn’t expected Alex to pick a fight on his first day at school. Time ticked by, not nearly as fast as she would have liked. When George finally got home, she gave him a bit of space to wind down before springing the situation on him. She walked down the hall and knocked on the door to his office.

“Yes?”

She opened the door and took a cautious step forward. “Dear, we need to have a talk with Alex.”

“What do you mean?” George asked, concern coloring his face.

“Well… it seems he picked a fight at school. I was too frustrated with Gilbert and him bickering to get the details; but I know they sounded very heated. It was hard enough to ” Martha sat in the leather love seat positioned in front of the window.

George face planted into his palms. They slid off his face and he leaned back into the chair. He flashed a perplexed look at Martha. “Alex did what?!” He exclaimed. “Are you sure we’re talking about the same Alex?” He rested his forehead in his hand. “The Alex that cowers every time I stand just a bit too close?”

“The one and only.” Martha quipped.

George let out a strained sigh. “Alright. Let’s talk to him.” He sat up and rested his elbows on the mahogany desk, intertwining his fingers. “First, we hear the whole story, then we decide what to do about this.” He said making a motion with his hands.

Martha nodded and stood up to make her way out of the room.

 

* * *

 

Alex’s stomach had been in knots since the minute he closed his bedroom door. He wondered if this would be the last straw. Would the Washington’s come to their senses and punish him for misbehaving? There was so many ways they could do that, and as he laid on his bed staring off into space, he contemplated which one would they choose. Some indeterminate time later, a knock came to his door.

His stomach tightened once again as he rose off the bed and onto his feet.

“Alex?” He heard Martha’s voice call out.

He reached for the knob and pulled the door open. He kept his head low in fear of seeing her face contorted with anger.

“Come with me, George and I would like to speak with you.” She turned on her heels and made her way down the hall to the flight of stairs.

Alex followed behind, but not too close. He knew he was in for a beating at the very least, that’s how it always went, but he followed anyway. His stomach flipped the entire tensely quiet walk to the office. He had never been in that room, which made it all the more frightening. Martha walked in without any hesitation, and rolled her desk chair out and positioned it adjacent to George’s desk.

“Alex, please take a seat.” George commanded with an unreadable tone.

Alex sat down in the desk chair, not even daring to look George in the eye. His head stayed down, eyes fixed on his lap. Martha clicked the door closed, and Alex flinched at the sound.

 _This is it, they really are going to punish me._  He told himself. He could feel his chest restricting, but he willed it to keep breathing.

“Alex, can you please tell me what happened today?” George relaxed back into his chair. “From what I heard, you got into a fight. Is that correct?”

“Yes, sir.” He replied, anxiety bubbling up in his chest.

“Alright. Then in your words, could you please describe what happened?”

Alex took a second to think through his answer. He had to be sure his words came out satisfactory. “It started… when Thomas started talking about poor people.” Alex clenched his fists which were buried deep in his jacket pockets. “He said that they should work harder, and that’s why they are poor. He went off spewing a bunch of garbage about how if they had only gone to college and had less kids, then they would be poor.” So much for picking his words carefully. “He was being a classist jerk, so I told him off.”

George gave Martha a look that Alex didn’t catch, since his gaze was still pointed down. “Alright, and what did he do?” He asked.

“He called me a rat, he said that this is why they shouldn’t let people like me in the country. He called me a heathen!” Alex had brought his gaze up to meet George’s unconsciously. He was fuming again, just recalling it.

“And what did you do?”

Alex shifted uncomfortably in the seat. His eyes lowered once again. He opened his mouth to reply, and for a moment he wasn’t sure any words would make it out. His stomach was in knots and his chest threatened to tighten even more.

“I pushed him down… and I hit his arms. Lafayette and James pulled me off… he asked Lafayette if he really planned to keep me like I was some rabies-filled pet.” Shame and anger swirled around in Alex’s head. “I told him I wasn’t some kind of mangy pet.”

“Did he say anything back?” Martha chimed in this time.

Alex felt tears prick at the corners of his eyes. “He said I’m an orphaned immigrant nobody, and that it was close enough.” He turned his head to the side so the Washington’s wouldn’t see the sadness threatening to make it’s way out.

George sighed. Martha frowned. Neither of them new quite what to say.

“Well, I think me and Martha need some time to talk about what to do. Please see yourself out to the family room. We will be in there once we’re done.” George motioned toward the door.

Alex stood from the chair and walked out. He closed the door carefully, and made his way to the family room. With every step, his heart beat faster and harder. ‘What to do.’ He recalled George’s words as he took a seat on the couch. _What to do… that means they will do something._  He stared, silent, unable to move. His eyes were wide with panic and his entire body was tense. He fought the urge to run before they had a chance to do anything, but he was ordered to sit and wait, and he had to follow orders. If he didn’t, the punishment might be worse. And dear god, it could get so much worse than a beating.

 

* * *

 

The door closed and after a few beats passed, George let go of the breath he hadn’t been aware he was holding.

“Martha, I think it was a bad idea to send him to school so soon.” He slumped down into his chair. “Granted, Thomas said some pretty messed up things; that aside, Alex is obviously acting out.” George finished.

“I agree. I think we should give him at least a week to settle in before we stick him in school. He’s probably scared to settle in, he’s been through so many homes already! I think, we should give him time to adjust.” She straightened her skirt and smoothed out any wrinkles. “I think no school for a week should suffice.”

George chuckled a bit. “Yeah, I think he’ll hate that. He couldn’t wait to get out the door this morning.”

“Then it’s settled.” Martha and George exchanged a soft smiles before making their way to the family room as promised.

 

* * *

 

The knock on the door startled Alex, even though he expected it to come eventually. He looked over to see the Washington’s walking into the room. He quickly pulled his head down as their eyes came into view. They walked over to stand a few feet in front of him, and he felt his entire body anticipating his first proper punishment from them.

“Well, Alex, we talked and think we came up with a proper punishment.” George spoke first.

He knew it. Alex knew he was in for it this time. Before George had a chance to continue, Alex interjected. “Where would you like me, sir?”

George and Martha made puzzled faces. “What are you talking about?” George asked, unsure what the boy meant.

“For my punishments, where do you want me? Should I take my clothes off or would you prefer them on, sir.” Alex stared blankly ahead. He had completely shut down at this point. All critical thinking had ceased in his brain.

“Son... are you asking me how I want to have my way with you?” George sounded disturbed, disgusted even. The tone in his voice broke Alex from his stupor.

He looked up at George and Martha, utterly confused as to why he was asking such a question. “Is that not… I thought… you said you found a suitable punishment…” Alex had a difficult time finding the correct words to reply with. His brows furrowed in confusion.

Martha brought a hand to her face and cupped her mouth.

George had definitely tensed up. “Son, why on earth would you think that?”

Martha lowered her hand down to lay flat on her chest. “Sweetie, we would never… did someone… _punish_ you that way?”

Alex could hear the heartbreak in the last sentence. He felt his stomach knot up and his chest restrict. He tried to calm the storm brewing in him, but it was no use. There was no point in fighting. Not only were they not going to punish him in the way he thought, or at all even; but now they knew how dirty he was. Now they knew and he didn’t even mean to tell them. He squeezed his eyes shut as tears began to fall from his face.

 ** _They won’t want you anymore._**  the voice was back. _Y **ou’re a filthy slut and now you’ll get kicked out for sure.**_  He threw his hands up to cover his ears, and felt his breathing struggle.

“No no no no stop _please no!_ ” he cried out.

 ** _It’s a surprise they didn’t punish you properly, it’s all your good for anyway._**  The voice spoke again.

He could hear the distant sound of someone else’s voice, but the sound of his heart and a ringing that started in his ear drown it out almost completely.

 _“Go away!”_ He cried out once more.

 _ **You’re a whore, just like your mother.**_  The voice rang out one last time.

Alex’s breath stopped coming and he felt hands grabbing at him. He wished them gone, but no matter how hard he wish, they kept touching and grabbing. He pulled his knees in to his chest and his hands gripped his hair.

He felt something tugging at his wrists and the pain of it rubbing his fresh cuts caused him to finally suck in a breath. He snapped his eyes open to see George with a hand around his wrist. He scurried to the side, terrified that he had been right all along, that George truly would suitably punish him. His breathing was all over the place, but the ringing in his ears finally died down enough to hear Martha and Lafayette trying their best to make calming phrases. Lafayette reached a hand to his back, and at first Alex flinched, his breath still way too fast. As soon as Lafayette’s fingers began to trace soothing circles, and Martha started counting, Alex could feel himself slowly start to relax. He did his best to ignore the heartbroken George standing back, too scared to get any closer. Instead, he kept his eyes down at his lap as he normally did.

Once his breathing had simmered down enough, Martha helped lay him down on his side. She glanced at Lafayette all the while gently stroking Alex’s hair. Lafayette went to leave, but Alex tugged at his hand. He didn’t want to be left alone with them. He couldn’t bare it if they changed their mind and wanted to punish him anyway.

“Alex…” Martha spoke softly. “I am so sorry you had to go through something like that.” She was definitely crying a bit. “That was not your fault, and you didn’t deserve it. It doesn’t matter how a child misbehaves, that is not an okay form of punishment.”

George clenched his jaw as he felt Alex’s eyes wander over to him. His fists tightest as Martha continued to speak.

“You are so strong. Whatever happened, whoever it was… they had no right to do that to you.”

“His name was George… _George king._ ” Alex looked up at Martha with glossy eyes. His eyes darted over to George for a second before coming back to Martha. “He was my foster father.” He confessed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> translations in order:  
> "Oh wait until I get my hands on him. He’s going to pay for that!"  
> "Alex, you will not put your hands on him. You already attacked him, that’s too far as it is. George and Martha will not by happy about this."  
> "Laf! What the hell, man?!"  
> "What? I'm not keeping quiet, you beat up my friend!"  
> "You could have at least worded it better! Plus, he totally deserved it! He called me a rat!"


	19. An Open Wound That Never Healed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex comes clean with his past, and George has to stop him from making a terrible mistake. (TW!! almost self harm in this one)

“His name was George… George King. He was my foster father.”

George felt his heart drop. The name sent chills down his spine. He couldn’t imagine the utter terror the boy probably felt when he had asked him just that morning to call him by that name.

“When I was bad he-“ Alex stopped to grip his hoodie. “He would punish me…” Alex began to tear up; he bit down on his lip in an attempt to control its quivering.

George averted his eyes, he couldn’t bare to watch the boy recall the horrors he endured.

“That wasn’t punishment sweetheart, that was abuse.” Martha looked at the boy in the eyes, still stroking his hair. “Did you tell anyone when it happened?” She asked sympathetically.

Alex shook his head. “I couldn’t… I… I deserved it.” His eyes squeezed shut as the tears fell from his face.

“Sweetie, no, you didn’t! I swear to you, there is nothing you could have done to deserve such a thing!” Martha and Lafayette both began to tear up.

George’s fists tightened even more, anger boiling in his stomach. Whoever this George king was, he would make sure to it that the man would get exactly what he deserved.

Alex couldn’t believe his ears; They didn’t seem to understand why it was his fault, why he deserved it all. There was only one way for that to happen, and that would be to tell them everything. He wasn’t entirely sure he could do it, but it was the only way to make them understand.

“You don’t… get it… I…” He felt his inhibitions starting to take over. He sucked in a shaky breath to ready himself for the black lash he was sure to receive. “I liked it.” He opened his eyes to study their reactions. “I didn't want it to, but It felt good, and sometimes I even begged for it.” It felt almost as though the flood gates had been opened. Once he started, he couldn’t seem to get himself to stop. “I had been good that week, I hadn't picked any fights at school lately, he praised me for being so well behaved but then... Then he asked me to call him George instead of Mr. King. He would call me by my full name. He got familiar with me, too familiar. I ignored the weird feeling in my gut when his hand would rest on my lap, or linger on my shoulder.” Alex felt detached from the words escaping his lips, staring off into space as he recounted the events that unfolded. He had gone over that night in his head a million times. “He told me I was a good boy, that I didn’t cause trouble. One night he came in my room, and told me i needed to be rewarded. That’s when he…” he took another shaky breath in. His eyes drifted off to stare at the carpet. “That’s when I learned, there was only one thing i was good for. It kept happening, it didn't matter if I was good or bad. I would mess up intentionally, and he would punish me. Sometimes, he would have people pay to do it _for him_ while he _filmed it_ and I… _I liked how it felt_ … my body would _crave_ it, I would beg him to **fuck me!** ”

Alex sat up abruptly and pulled himself away from Martha and Lafayette. His hands came up to wipe the tears pouring from his eyes.

“Après un moment, si je n'étais pas bon, il ne coucherait pas avec moi! Je le voulais! Je suis une salope comme ma Mama!” Alex’s wails barely made any sense to Lafayette. To George and Martha it was nothing more than garbled gibberish.

“On me l'a demandé, je méritais d'être puni!” His body racked with sobs.

Martha reached out a hand to comfort him, but Alex recoiled from the contact, so she withdrew.

He lowered his hands to look her in the eyes. Shock hit him like a truck as he realized the torment he was putting them through. He was burdening them, making them feel sorry for him. Or worse, they were disgusted by him. He looked to George and saw his shaking fists. They were balled in so tight, his knuckles had gone pale.

 _He’s angry at you, for being so dirty. He can still hurt you._  The all too familiar voice spoke out again. Alex’s eyes went wide with worry.

“Alex, what’s wrong?” Martha asked desperate to help in some way, no matter how small.

_You deceived them. You made them think you were an innocent child. You’re nothing but a **whore.**_

Alex bolted for the door. Lafayette tried to grab him, but he yanked his wrist free of the grasp. He ran to the kitchen, ignoring the footsteps trailing behind. He grabbed a knife and slid it from its spot in the holding block on the corner counter. He pulled his sleeve up; Right as he went to press the blade into his skin, arms wrapped around him.

“Let me go!” He pleaded. "Stop! I have to do this!"

The arms tightened around him.

“Alex, please, you don’t need to hurt yourself!” George called out as he lifted Alex off the ground.

Lafayette snatched the knife from Alex and took a step back. He looked on at the scene before him; Alex struggling and kicking while George held him suspended. After a bit Alex’s exhaustion kicked in. His limbs slowly came to a stop as he broke down in George’s arms. George lowered him to the floor, grip still tight, and knelt down to let the boy rest on him.

As Alex sobbed, collapsed in George’s embrace, Martha walked up behind Lafayette. His hands were tightly gripped around the handle of the knife. She gently pried it from his grip, a hand resting in his shoulder. She walked over to the holding block and placed it back into its spot.

And everyone stayed that way for a moment, unable to properly process everything that just happened. It didn’t take long for Martha and Lafayette to join George in soothing the teen. No one said a word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (translations in order)  
> "After a while, If I wasn’t good, he wouldn’t have sex with me! I wanted it! I’m a dirty slut just like my Mama!"  
> "I literally asked for it, I deserved to be punished!"


	20. Exposing The Damage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex wakes up the next morning, thinking he will have to leave. Martha is able to convince him to open up.

Alex awoke with a start, a nightmare of his mother dying still fresh in his mind. It took him several seconds to come to reality and recognize his location. A pounding throb shot through his right temple. He rubbed it, unsure why it had come in the first place. He peeled his eyes back open and took in the room. It was only then, that the memories of the night before flooded his brain.

 _Fuck._  His eyes went wide and he buried his face in his hands. _Shit. This is bad._  He couldn’t believe himself. He had not only broke down in front of them, but also told them the one thing he was sure would get him thrown out. Who would want a _dirty, immigrant, orphaned, whore_ after all?

He rubbed his face roughly, trying his best to ignore the headache thumping in his head. He glanced over at the clock and saw it was nine twenty-four in the morning. That couldn’t be right. School started at eight, why did no one wake him? Unless… his stomach felt like it hit the floor.

 _I really must be getting kicked out today._  He pulled the blanket from his body and shuddered at the cold that was left in its place. He quickly picked up his belongings, changed into his old clothes, neatly folded the ones they had purchased for him before carefully placing them in the bag, cleaned the brush, and made the bed. He looked at the shoes he had been wearing to school the day before. He wanted so badly to keep them, but it would just serve as a painful reminder. He neatly tucked them back into their box, and placed it on the floor, the bag of clothes placed just on top.

He looked at the sweater Lafayette had given him, draped on the desk chair. He traced his fingers along the fibers. God, he would miss Lafayette, and Hercules, and he would miss John’s bright smile that seemed to light up the room. He hadn’t even been there long, but he knew this would be painful. He turned away from the sweater, not wanting the tears that threatened to fall. He slipped on his beat up old sneakers, and lifted his backpack from the floor to hoist it up onto his shoulder. He took once last look at the room, letting it sink in that this would be the last time his eyes would fall on it. He wiped the few tears that had begun to fall, then made the walk to the door.

 

* * *

 

The journey down to the first floor felt like a mile to his sore aching body. He wasn’t sure how much fight he had left in him, but his promise to keep living to his mother had kept him on his feet so far. He would just have to keep going. He heard Martha quietly humming to herself in the kitchen, and turned the corner to enter the dining room.

She was cleaning, a habit she would indulge in when she was stressed. She stopped wiping off the counter when she saw Alex in the doorway.

“Oh! Alex, I didn’t know you were up!” Alex could tell the chipper voice was a bit forced. “No school for you today, sweetie. George and I thought it best if you stayed home for a while.”

Alex shot her a confused look, unable to hide the hope in his face. “Wait, does that mean you’re not… sending me back?” He gripped the backpack strap with both hands.

Martha gave him a look over, an equally confused face shooting back at him. “Of course not, sweetie! Is that why... you’re dress that way?”

A wave of relief washed over Alex. “You mean… I can stay?” He asked, hoping to god she was speaking the truth.

“Alex, of course you can!” She walked over to him and pulled a chair out from the dining table. She place a hand on his back and guided him to the seat before taking the next chair over, for herself. “We wouldn’t throw you to the wolves over something like this! What happened was not your fault, no matter how your body reacted. What happened to you was horrible, and someone is definitely at fault, but the blame is in no way on you!” She had begun to tear up a bit.

Alex felt tears building up in his eyes as well. “But I thought-“

“Well, you thought wrong.” A compassionate smile spread across her face. Alex smiled back, thankful that they had been so kind to him. She wiped the tears from her cheeks, and regained her composure. “However, that still doesn’t excuse your behavior at school, young man. A week off school should set you straight.” She continued like the mother figure Alex was in need of. She stood from her chair and made her way back to the kitchen. “Now, are you hungry? You didn’t get a chance to eat yesterday, I’m sure you’re probably famished.” She turned to look back at Alex.

Alex blushed as he realized she was right. With all the food he had gotten over the past few days, he was actually quite hungry this time around. It would also explain the headache. “Yes, please.”

Martha smiled and strode to the fridge, pulling open the door by the handle. “What would you like to eat? Anything you want, you name it!”

Alex thought for a moment. He should probably say something easy to make, that would be the considerate choice. However, Martha was asking him what he _wanted_ to eat, not what he thought he should have her make. There was actually something he had craved a lot since he first came to the states.

“Do you know how to make macaroni pie?” He asked hesitantly. He wasn’t sure if Martha even knew what that was, let alone know how to make it. “Mama used to make it for me, it was cheap and easy to make so…” he trailed off; it hurt reminding himself of his late mother, but the memory of eating the dish with her was a bittersweet one.

“I can look up a recipe for it, if you’d like. Is it anything like baked macaroni and cheese?” She closed the fridge and walked back over to Alex.

“Maybe? I’ve never actually had that.” Alex scratched the back of his head, a little embarrassed.

Martha made that ever-so-warm smile that tugged at the part of his heart that made him think of his mother. “Macaroni pie, it is then.” She stated.

 

* * *

 

Martha’s version of his favorite dish as a child was somewhat less sweet than he remembered it, but it was delicious all the same. The familiar flavors gave him a kind of nostalgia that he wished would never leave.

“God I’m stuffed!” He exclaimed. “I might never eat again!”

Martha gave a small giggle “It seems you enjoyed yourself!” She rested her chin in her palm.

“I did. Thank you, Martha.” Alex gleamed.

She returned the smile, filling it with warmth. The smile slowly dropped from her face. Alex noticed the change in her expression and it worried him.

“Have I done something wrong?” He asked.

Martha lifted her face from her hand and removed her arm from the table. “No, it’s just…” she paused in thought. “May I ask you for a favor, Alex?”

Alex was surprised but curious, and if anything, a bit nervous as well. “I guess, sure.” He unconsciously leaned in.

Martha gulped. “Is it alright if I take a look at you?” She fidgeted in her seat. “It’s just, as a former nurse, I want to make sure there isn’t anything that needs serious medical attention. I would prefer not to have to make a trip to the hospital, if I can help it.”

Alex tensed. He leaned back in his seat, his gaze falling to the table. Out of a list of things he expected,-and let’s be honest, he wasn’t even sure what to expect in the first place- that definitely was not on it. “I don’t like hospitals.” Was all he said.

Martha let the statement slide, she didn't think he would appreciate being interrogated for his reasons why. “Will you let me have a look then?”

Alex was hesitant, but nodded. He just hoped that she wouldn’t judge him for the damage he had done to himself.

“Okay." She smiled with relief. "Come with me.” She instructed. She rose from her chair, and Alex followed her lead. They made their way upstairs to her and George’s room, and she guided him to the bed. “Take a seat, I’ll be right back.” He sat gently on the mattress, feeling discomfort at being in their personal quarters. He heard a bit of rustling around in the master bathroom and soon Martha emerged from the doorway. A first aid kit in hand, she sat on the spot next to Alex. “Would you like me to help you take your shirt and jacket off?” She offered.

Alex shook his head. “No it’s fine, I can do it.”

Martha watched him peel the garments off his torso to reveal the scars, bruises, and self-inflicted wounds, both old and new. The sight caused a small gasp to escape her lips. Alex flinched in surprise.

“Sorry. It just… looks painful is all.” She explained. It was only partially true, it did look painful. She just didn’t want to bring up how sad it made her to see such horrid injuries on him.

He placed the shirt at his side on the bed. He hated this, feeling so exposed, and not just physically. He wasn’t exactly sure why, maybe it was the familiarity of a mother figure, maybe it was something else entirely, but he decided to voice his thoughts. “No one’s seen me… like this.” He made a gesture at his self. "At least not recently."

Martha smiled sympathetically. “I think it’s very brave of you. It's not an easy thing, letting someone in.” She placed a hand on his shoulder and thumbed it gently. “Thank you.”

Alex smiled. Not a big one, but a smile no less. It was a nice feeling, having someone think of him as ‘brave’. No one had ever described him that way except his mother. He relaxed his muscles and turned his body to face her.

She took that as her queue to begin. Her fingers trailed across his skin, inspecting each bruise and cut with attentiveness. She pressed two fingers on a spot near his ribs, which made him giggle a little. She continued her inspection up to his collarbones and down his right bicep, then his left. Her fingers stopped for a short moment when she got to his forearms. She gently traced the lines leading across his wrists with her thumbs.

“How long?” She asked.

“Huh?”

“How long have you been doing this?” She clarified.

Alex thought on it for a second, unsure if the truth would be painful for her. “Shortly after my mother died.”

Martha frowned. “I’m sorry to hear that.” She pulled her hands away from his arms. Alex picked his shirt up off the bed and slipped it back on. “It’s fine.” He had said those words a lot, mostly to himself. It seemed almost natural to say out loud. In reality, he knew it wasn’t fine, but what else was he to say?

Martha took a deep breath. “Well, the good news is, there’s no need for a hospital for now. You do seem to have possibly broken a rib at some point, but it’s all well and healed now.” She popped open the first aid kit and grabbed some alcohol swabs. She reached over to his right arm and began cleaning up the wounds.

“It’s important to properly clean yourself, or else you might end up getting an infection. Have you ever used anything rusty?” She asked nonchalantly as she switched halfway through to the other arm.

“No, ma’am.” Alex watched her expertly disinfected the wounds. She ended the treatment with some healing ointment, and bandages that wrapped around both forearms.

“There.” She said picking up the trash left over from the job. “You can put your jacket back on now.” She grabbed the first aid kit and headed back to the bathroom to put it away.

She returned to the bedroom and nodded at the hallway. “Would you like to watch a Disney movie with me?” They exchanged smiles at one another.

“Yeah. I’d like that.”


	21. Preparation For The Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few days have past, and Alex gets a proposition from the Washington's.

It was Thursday, which meant it had been three days since Alex had his breakdown. Not much happened since then. He had finally allowed himself the luxury of feeling comfortable within the home. It was on this particular evening after Lafayette had returned home from school, that the French teen made an offer. They sat there, in the family room, a Disney movie playing in the background, when he first spoke up about it.

“Alex Je me demandais si tu pouvais faire quelque chose pour moi.” Lafayette said, after taking a bit from his fudge pop.

Alex turned to face him, a fudge pop also in hand. “Qu'est-ce que c'est, Laf?”He asked, a little curious what the teen would say.

“Si vous faites un cauchemar et que vous vous réveillez au milieu de la nuit, pouvez-vous venir me voir? Je peux vous tenir compagnie jusqu'à ce que vous vous sentiez prêt à dormir à nouveau.” Lafayette took another slurp of his treat, keeping an eye on Alex to study his reaction.

Alex made a slightly awkward face. He didn’t particularly enjoy the idea of Lafayette seeing him so vulnerable, but he supposed it wouldn’t be the worst thing. He had essentially already seen him at his worst, and he knew Alex’s deepest secrets. Seeing him after having a nightmare seemed like one of lesser evils. “Oui, je peux faire ça. Juste si c'est mauvais… ne me touchez pas à moins que je ne vous le dise, d'accord?”

Lafayette nodded, happy for Alex to oblige. Not touching him felt like a fair boundary for Alex to set. After all, he had been through a lot. “Oui c'est bon.”

Alex turned back to the T.V. taking a decently sized bite from the fudge pop. He smiled at the thought of how caring his friend was. He felt quite content with how things had played out the last few days. He hadn’t felt the itch to punish himself, and was growing used to eating more. Sleeping still remained a challenge, however. He still hadn’t been able to sleep on the bed and the nightmares plagued his nights. Most of the time, he would end up writing until breakfast time. He tried his best to be quiet when he awoke in a cold sweat, but last night he had started screaming again. When he finally came to, it was to the sound of Lafayette crying out his name from the other side of his bedroom door.

 

* * *

 

At some point, the movie had ended, and both teens falling asleep. Martha had just finished dinner when she walked in on the two snoozing peacefully on the black leather couch. She rested her shoulder against the door frame and took in the sight. It had been almost a week since they took Alex in, and in that time, their lives had changed drastically.

“Boys!~” She called out from her spot in a loving tone.

Alex was the first to open his eyes. He smiled up at her before giving Lafayette a small nudge on the shoulder with his foot.

“What do you want? Just let me sleep!” Lafayette grumbled, tossing onto his other side.

Alex suppressed a giggle. “Laf, I think it’s time for dinner.”

Lafayette sat up, immediately looking fully awake. “Why did you not say so in the first place! Come, mon ami!” He hurriedly sprang onto his feet and pulled Alex by the sleeve. Martha lead the way to the dining room, feeling satisfied with the table full of food. The boy’s sat in their usual seats, and waited for Martha to get George out of his study. Martha emerged from the hall, George following closely behind with his reading glasses on, and some papers in hand.

Martha sat at her usual chair and glanced over to George. “George! It’s time for dinner! Put the paperwork down, or so help me, I’m not going to make enchiladas for a month.” She demanded.

George looked up from the papers and set them gently on the counter. “Now love, that’s just cruel!” He walked over and took the chair next to her. “You know that’s my favorite.”

She raised a brow at him. “Don’t you _Now love_  me. You know how I feel about work at the table.”

“Yes, of course. I put it down, so let’s eat okay?” George scooted his chair closer to the table and grabbed a fork.

Everyone began plating their food, and started eating. It was about half way through the meal when George spoke up again.

“So Alex, there was something I wanted to ask.” He said after finishing the mouthful of food he had.

“Yes, sir?” Alex said just before stuffing a bite into his own.

“Tomorrow makes a week since you got here, and Martha and I were wondering if you’d like to invite Hercules and John over to celebrate.” George said with a smile.

Alex looked up from his food with a slightly confused expression. “… celebrate?” He asked.

“Of course, sweetie! Don’t you think it would be fun?” Martha chimed in.

Alex smiled, still a bit confused. Sure, George and Martha seemed glad to have him there, but he hadn’t expected them to throw a party over only one week. It made his heart swell with love for the Washington’s. He hadn’t ever imagined being this welcomed at a foster home. “Yes, I would like that very much.” He replied.

“Then it’s settled, go ahead and text them to come over tomorrow.” George instructed.

“Oh…” Alex placed his fork down. “um… I can’t.” A hint of shame trickled into his chest.

“How come, Alex? Do you not want to invite them yourself? I can have Lafayette do it instead, if you prefer.” George took a bite of his food.

“No it’s not that, sir. I don’t… I don’t have a phone.” Alex confessed. He had a cellphone briefly at his first home when he initially got there, but that privilege had been the first to be revoked. None of the other foster families had provided for him that way.

“Oh. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to assume.” George felt embarrassed, but he smiled at Alex with a twinkle in his eye. “We will have to fix that, then.”

Alex twiddled with his fork. “You don’t have to, I’m used to not having a phone. It’s not something I find necessary.”

“I know we don’t, but we want to. Right, Martha?” George looked in Martha’s direction.

“Yes, it’s not a problem at all.” She agreed, placing a hand on George’s arm.

Alex’s heart once again filled with love for the two adults. In the short time he grew to know them, they had become special to him. He wondered just how far they would go to support and care for him.

“In the meantime, Lafayette can you text John and Hercules for us?” George asked.

Lafayette gave an enthusiastic nod. “Yes of course, Père. I will do that at once.” He replied.

 

* * *

 

It wasn’t a surprise to Alex that Lafayette wanted to binge on another Disney movie after dinner. This time, the choice was between The Little Mermaid, and The Lion King. Alex initially chose The Little mermaid, but Lafayette argued over how they should save it for the party.

“I just do not think watching The Lion King is a good idea.” Lafayette said, staring at the book case full of movies. “It has a very sad part that I do not think you are ready for, mon ami. We should watch something that has a little less… orphans.” His fingers trailed along the line of movies, and slid one out from its spot. “What about Tangled?”

“What’s it about?” Alex asked from his spot on the couch.

“It is the story of Rapunzel. It is a very good movie, in fact…” he peaked back to look at Alex to see his reaction. “It is one of John’s favorites.”

Alex seemed to perk up at the mention of John. He tried to play it cool, but Lafayette could see right through his facade. “I guess we can watch that one.”

Lafayette smirked; Hercules had been right after all. “Then this we will watch.” He said whilst pulling open the movie case. He popped the disk from its place, and walked over to the entertainment center to put it in.

Lafayette sat back down next to Alex and pulled a bag of chips onto his lap. The ever familiar Disney logo displayed itself on the screen, as Lafayette and Alex munched on chips. It was a good moment, peaceful and happy. Alex wished it could go on forever. But unlike Disney movies, wishes rarely come true in the real world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> translation in order:  
> "Alex. I was wondering if you could do something for me."  
> "What is it, Laf?"  
> “If you have a nightmare and wake up in the middle of the night, can you come see me? I can keep you company until you feel ready to sleep again.”  
> "Yeah, I can do that. Just, if it’s a bad one… don’t touch me unless I tell you to, okay?"  
> "Yes, that's fine."


	22. Ode To One Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex doesn't have much to do at home, and decides to write to his mother to pass time.

The Friday morning had gone relatively quiet. With Martha and George at work, and Lafayette at school, Alex had the house to himself. He wasn’t sure what to do, seeing as he had no one to keep him company. He decided today would be a good time as any to write to his mother, as he had a habit of losing track of time when he did. He sat in the family room, the news played quietly in the background. He flipped through the pages until he found a clean one to use.

_Dear Mama,_

_The Washington’s are throwing me a party today. I am excited to see Lafayette’s friends again, John most of all. I wonder if he likes parties? He seems like the type that would. I wish you could meet him, he’s very kind. Everyone here is kind as well. Martha made me macaroni pie, though it doesn’t compare to yours in the slightest. I miss you. I hope you are proud of me. I told the Washington’s about my sins from the past. They didn’t kick me out, even though I thought they would. I wish I could believe them. Martha assured me it wasn’t my fault, but I’ve analyzed every interaction, and in every place I checked, I still feel strongly that the blame could never be placed on just him. He isn’t innocent by far, but I had a hand in things just as he did. If you knew the things I agreed to, you would probably feel as disgusted with me as I do. You can’t, though. Because you aren’t here. I got you sick and you aren’t here anymore. I deserve to be disgusted._

Alex stopped writing. Tears had begun to form in his eyes, and it made it a bit hard to see. He wiped them with his jacket sleeve and continued writing.

_Mama, I don’t deserve this party. I have done nothing but brought complication and concern into their life. I don’t understand why they are so accepting of me. I hope there will be a day that I can prove to them that they were not wrong for showing me this kindness._

Alex cleaned the tears from his cheeks and continued to finish the entry.

_I promise, someday I will find some way to show my gratitude toward them. I will rise up from the mess that I’ve become._

_As always, your loving son,_

_Alex._

He closed the notebook and stared down at it in a flurry of conflicting emotions. On one side, he wanted to beat himself up for having no pride, he had accepted the help and support the Washington’s provided, and he hadn’t done anything to prove he deserved it. The other side of him argued that he didn’t deserve it, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t accept it anyway. It was there to offer, and the Washington's had to proved to him that they had no intention of revoking it. So, he decided, instead of sulking, he would cherish all they have given.


	23. To The Store

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Martha takes Alex to the store to gather supplies for the party.

Martha couldn’t wait to get home. She left work a few minutes earlier than the normally would, just so she could do so. The ride home built up the anticipation in her. She didn’t like leaving Alex by himself, he had been alone for a few days now and it made her feel guilty. He had no phone, computer, or games to keep himself busy. All he came with was a single pair of clothes, and a notebook. Surely, writing non-stop had to get old after a while. She made a mental note to get him something fun he could waste time on for the days he would be alone. Though, what that would be, she had no idea. Now that she though of it, she didn’t really know too much about his interests other than writing. Another mental note to add on, find out what he likes.

When she finally made it home, she found Alex in his room. He was hanging up the clothes they had bought him, organizing them by color.

“Hello, sweetheart. How did your day go?” She asked, taking a step into the room.

Alex turned to her with a smile. “It was alright.” He placed another shirt on a hanger and hung it up. “Haven’t done much, I’ve just been trying to find things to do until everyone gets home.” He plucked the bag up from the floor and wadded it up in his hands.

“Well get ready for something to do. We’re going shopping!” Martha said.

“Shopping? For what?” Alex asked, a tilt of the head showing his curiosity.

“Streamers, snacks, normal party things.” She turned and headed out of the room. “I’ll be in the office, come get me when you’re ready to leave!” She called out, the click of her heels echoing down the hall as she made her way downstairs.  
  


* * *

 

Alex slipped his feet into the DC’s they had bought him. They had been in the box up until this point, something in him didn’t want to take them back out for fear that the Washington’s would change their mind and send him away. Today was different. He wanted to look his best for the party; the Washington’s had put so much effort into making him feel loved and welcome. He wanted to return the favor. When he got downstairs, he heard the clacking of fingers against keys on a computer. He followed the sound down the hall, past the dining room, and into the office where Martha said she would be.

Alex gave a gentle knock. Knocking on doors had always gave him some anxiety. In his second foster home, a man named Johnathan Brown watched over him. He slept most of the time, but you wouldn’t know it. Any time Alex woke him for the most basic things, he would explode saying he needs his sleep. Spending several months dreading having to knock on a door takes its toll on a person.

“Come on in, Alex!” Martha shouted, hoping it was loud enough for Alex to hear. It was.

Alex turned the knob, and entered as instructed. Martha didn’t raise her head, her eyes stayed focused on the monitor in front of her, fingers moving fast across the keyboard in such a way that anyone could describe it as graceful. Alex wondered how is it that she learned to carry herself so elegantly when she was merely typing.

“So, your ready to go then?” She asked as she made a few clicks with the mouse.

“Yes, ma’am.” Alex replied. “Oh I mean… Martha.” He corrected himself.

Martha glanced up briefly before looking down again to turn off her monitor. “You know, if it makes you uncomfortable, you don’t have to call me Martha. I would hate to force you to do something you don’t like.” She stood from her seat and motioned for Alex to move out of the room. “George did mention to me that you preferred to call him Sir, so if you find it easier to say ma’am, it’s perfectly fine.” She added.

“No, it’s okay. I don’t mind. It’s only… that name.” Alex tried to explain. He didn’t want to bring up the awkward subject of not calling George by his own name, but he hoped Martha would understand.

Martha nodded in response. “Okay, well just let me know if you change your mind.”

 

* * *

 

The two arrived at the store in what seemed like no time at all. They walked up through the store until they came across the party section.

“Alright, now what’s your favorite color, Alex?” Martha asked as they approached the paper plates.

“Green.”

“Oh? I figured it would be blue. You had a blue jacket before, and picked out another blue one when we were at the mall.” She picked up some green plates, one lime green, one forest green.

“I like blue too, I just think green is better.” Alex explained.

“Alright, then which one do you like better?” She said holding the plates out for him to pick.

He thought for a second, then pointed to the forest green one. “Darker greens are my favorite.”

Martha gave a sweet smile and placed his choice in the cart and put the other package back. “Let’s get some streamers now.” They walked over to the decoration section and Martha immediately grabbed the dark green roll. She hummed to herself in thought as she looked over the section before deciding to grab the dark green table cloth as well. “Now how do you feel about balloons?”

Alex picked at the hem of his jacket, one hand tucked away in his pocket. “Don’t you think… this is a little much?” He looked up at her nervously, unsure if that would upset her.

Martha toddled his hair with a grin. “ yeah, balloons might be a bit over the top. It’s only John and Hercules, so it’s not like a huge party or anything.”

Alex bit his lip. He felt a little frustrated, but relieved that she didn’t quite understand what he meant. He guessed it wouldn’t be wise to sound ungrateful for her efforts, so he dropped the issue.

“Let’s take a look in the electronic section; I need to buy a new charger for George.” Martha stated, walking out of the party section. Alex followed her closely behind. “I swear, that man can be so helpless. He always seems to lose or break his chargers.” She elaborated. They made their way down the action alley and over to the electronics. “Go ahead and look around, but stay nearby. I want to take a gander at the DVD’s too, so I’ll be a minute.”

“Okay.” Alex replied. He watched her disappear into the shelves of DVD’s before taking look at his surroundings. As soon as he located the game section, he made a beeline for it. One thing he loved about stores, is how they always had sample systems to play. He turned the corner, and sure enough, they had some 3DS’s on display. Nothing fancy, game wise. Mario kart and some other game he’d never heard of. It didn’t take long for his attention to go, games never held it for long. He looked around and noticed the toys just across the aisle. He walked over to it, taking in all the toys lining the shelves. He walked down each aisle, inspecting each item on display. He found the LEGO aisle, and was in instant heaven. He had always wanted to build a set, but had never received one. His fingers brushed along the boxes. He came across a Star Wars x-wing set and picked it up.

“Oh there you are!” Martha piped up as she entered the aisle. Alex jumped at her voice. “Did you find something cool?” She asked, pretending not to notice his surprise at her sudden appearance.

“Oh, uh… not really, I was just looking.” Alex tried to play it off. He placed the box back on the shelf and approached the cart.

Martha looked at him, then at the box. “Would you like to get that?” She looked back at him with a smile.

Alex blushed with embarrassment. He did want to, but he wasn’t about to admit it out loud.

Martha’s smile deepened. “You can get it if you want.” She suggested. “Consider it a reward for being so well behaved while at home this week. You’ve earned it!”

Alex blushed harder. He walked back over to the box and grabbed it from the shelf.

“Do you want to put it in the cart, or would you prefer to hold it?” Martha asked.

“Can I hold it?”

“Of course, sweetheart. Now, let’s go over to the food section. We can’t have a party without snacks, right?”

Alex nodded with a smile. He clung to the LEGO set with a tight grip. He hadn’t expected to get a gift like this, but it made him very excited to get home.

Some minutes later, Alex began to suspect that they were by the bakery. The smell of fresh bread being baked wafted it’s way into his nasal passages, making his mouth water. If there was one food he absolutely loved the scent of, it was bread. That, and popcorn.

Martha inhaled deeply and let out a pleased hum. “That smells fantastic, don’t you think so?” She said, continuing to walk toward the smell.

“It does.” Alex agreed.

They turned out of the action alley into the produce sections. Alex eyes all the different fruits and vegetables as they passed each crate. His attention snapped forward at Martha who, apparently while he was ogling the produce, had walked all the way to the bakery counter without him. He hurried himself along to get to her side. Once there, he realized she had asked for a fresh loaf of bread. He watched as she excitedly opened the packaging and pulled off a still-steaming piece. She ate the whole piece in one bite, which surprised Alex. He didn’t normally get to see her drop the elegance and indulge. She pulled another piece and held it out in front of his face.

He giggled but took the piece. The moment it hit his tongue, his entire mouth reacted. He scoffed it down as quick as he could. “Oh my god, it’s so good!” He exclaimed through the food occupying his mouth.

Martha and Alex exchanged happy smiles. “We can much on this while we shop.” Martha stated, moving the cart down to the cakes. “Chocolate, vanilla, or marble?” She asked pointing to the array in the cooler.

“Marble!” Alex replied, still stuffing his face with bread.

Martha picked up the prettiest cake she could find with a marble base. “Now, we need chips!” She said as they walked back through the produce section.

 

* * *

 

After grabbing what seemed like way too many bags of chips, Alex followed Martha to the check out. He helped her with placing things on the belt, as well as making sure all the bags got in the cart. It was when he had double checked the turnstile, that the cashier realized he had the LEGO set still in his arms.

“Oh, I don’t think I got that.” She said pointing to the box wrapped in his arms.

“Oh! I’m so sorry! I totally forgot! Alex dear, let me see it for a moment, okay?” Martha reached a hand out in his direction.

Alex looked at the hand hesitantly. For a split second, he tightened the grip on the box. He lowered it from his chest and looked away as he handed it to Martha.

Martha could tell he didn’t want to let it go, so she tried to get it back to him as quick as possible. “Do you think we could skip the bag on this?” She asked the moment she handed it over to the cashier.

“Yes, of course.” The cashier replied. She scanned it and held it out for Alex to grab.

Which he did. He seized the box and wrapped both arms around it, pressing it to his chest. The rest of the transaction came to an end as Martha payed for the groceries, and grabbed her receipt.

 

* * *

 

The walk back to the car was short. Both Martha and Alex loaded up the bags in the trunk, and themselves into the driver and passenger seats.

“You ready?” Martha asked, starting up the engine.

Alex nodded enthusiastically, placing the box on his lap so he could buckle himself in. And with that, they were headed back home.


	24. Get This Party Started

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hercules plays wingman, the group reveals they've spoiled Alex, and John finds out Alex isn't too keen on contact.

Lafayette, followed by Hercules, and John, walked through the front door to find Alex helping Martha set up the streamers in the dining room.

“Mon petite Alex! The party is here! We can start the celebration!” Lafayette shouted as he walked through the entry way.

Alex swished his head back and forth between Martha and the group as if to ask for permission.

“Go on, sweetie. Go say hi!” Martha said with a giggle. She grabbed the scissors and tape from Alex and watched him practically skip with excitement over towards the trio.

“Alex, my dude!” John exclaimed with open arms. Alex was too preoccupied with dashing over to notice he was asking for a hug, but Hercules caught it. He pushed past John in an attempt to let Lafayette take the lead on informing him about Alex’s apprehensiveness towards contact.

“Hey short stuff!” Hercules said shielding him from John. He walked with Alex down the hall. “Man, I’m so glad to see you! How have you been?”

Lafayette and John hung back. “What the hell was that about? He totally just cut me off!” John complained.

“It is a good thing, Mon ami. Alex is not good with affection. Please, I just ask you to be careful when touching him; he gets... jumpy.” As Lafayette explained Hercules’ actions, John felt himself deflate completely.

In fact, he knew the exact reasons why someone would be that way. It didn’t surprise him in the slightest that a foster kid would react badly to physical contact. Lafayette had been in a similar state when they first met; albeit not as bad as Alex. John wasn’t a stranger to it either. John looked over to Hercules and Alex heading into the family room just a few feet ahead.

“Okay. I understand.” John stated with determination to be as gentle with Alex as he could.

Lafayette smiled and patted John’s head. “As I knew you would, mon ami.”

The group all entered the family room and one by one flopped down on the couch. Suddenly, John shot up in his seat.

“Dude! We forgot the presents!” John exclaimed.

Hercules brought his hand up to his forehead with a loud smack. “Oh my god!” He stood up from the couch and motioned for Lafayette to follow. “Laf, come help me. We’ll be right back. Try not to burn the house down, okay?”

As they walked from the room, John made a mental note to give Hercules a punch later. He did not appreciate his obvious attempt at being a wingman.

“You guys got me presents..?” Alex piped up.

John shifted in his seat. “Well yeah dude, it’s party for you isn’t it?”

“You really shouldn’t have gotten me anything. I would have been fine just having you here.” Alex picked at the hem of his jacket.

“It’s like party 101 to always bring a gift.” John turned to look at Alex. “Even if they aren’t necessary, it’s just polite to do it anyway.” He explained.

“Still, you didn’t have to.” Alex turned to face John as well.

“I know, but we wanted to.” John smiled and Alex swore his heart skipped a beat.

He looked down at his lap, a blush making its way across his cheeks. “Thank you.”

John smiled harder and scooted closer to Alex. “So what’s on the agenda for today?” He asked.

“Lafayette said he wanted to watch the little mermaid, and Martha was saying something about bringing the board games out.” Alex looked back up at John. His eyes wandered down to the freckles decorating the teens cheeks. They reminded him of constellations.

“That sounds like fun. As long as we don’t have to play monopoly; I don’t know how, but Lafayette always wins. Herc and I are pretty sure he cheats.”

Alex and John shared a laugh.

“I could probably win, not to toot my own horn or anything.” Alex bragged.

“And why’s that?” John questioned.

“Well… back on Nevis, for a few years, I did a lot of under the table accounting work while I was living with my cousin.” Alex tried to push the image of his cousin’s body swinging from a rope out of his mind. Luckily, John didn’t have a chance to see the pain in his eyes. Hercules and Lafayette walked in the room holding several presents.

“The presents, as promised!” Lafayette said as he placed his armfuls onto the coffee table in front of them.

“There’s so many..!” Alex looked on in shock at the mass of gift bags before him. “This is way too much, it’s not even my birthday or anything!”

“Oh no, trust me. You would know if it was your birthday. Laf here one time filled my entire room with stuffed turtles.” John chimed in.

Lafayette started to snicker; a hint of deviance apparent in his expression.

“It’s not funny dude!” John hit Lafayette with a couch cushion. “Do you know how _long_ it took me to sort out that mess? I couldn’t even see the floor! I had to sleep in the guest room that night!”

Lafayette belted out a laugh. “It was quite amusing, you should have seen the look on his face! He looked like he had seen the most crazy thing!” His arms gripped around his stomach.

Alex couldn’t help the smile that spread wide. The mental image of John walking into his room with an incredulous look… Lafayette was right about it being amusing. John harrumphed into his seat with his arms folded.

“Speaking of, when is your birthday?” Hercules asked.

Alex didn’t particularly love telling people his birthday. He didn’t want to make it a big thing, since he had never had a good one. At least, not recently. The best birthday he could remember is when his Mama and Papa got him this really cool action figure they saved for months to get. He had begged them for it, not understanding how little money they had. Of course, this was only a year before his Papa found out that Alex wasn’t even his.

He realized that his mind was getting off track and they had been expecting a reply from him. A small anxiousness washed over him. He could easily tell them a fake birthday, but what if they found out he lied? Surely they would be angry at him. He figured he would rather put up with an exhausting birthday than be labeled a liar.

“January eleventh.” He finally replied.

“Oh that’s actually not far off.” Said John.

“But Alex, why did you hesitate? Do you not like your birthday?” Lafayette questioned.

Alex fidgeted a bit. “It’s not that I hate or anything. It’s just… I’ve had some really bad ones.” He explained; the memory of his cousin creeping back into his mind.

All three teens were sad to hear this. Lafayette patted Alex on the shoulder.

“Then this next birthday will be incroyable!” Lafayette said with enthusiasm.

Alex started to wish he had never said anything. His birthday at this point only served of the reminder.

“Let’s get this party going already. I’m itching for some snacks!” John shouted as he jumped from the couch onto his feet. Hercules and Lafayette let out some energetic howls as they followed their small curly haired friend out of the room.

Alex stood up to follow, but found himself staring back at the presents. He wondered whether or not this meant he had been forgiven for his actions at school.


	25. Eye Of The Hurricane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The party kicks up, but before it even has a chance to get wild, panic ensues for poor Alex. He has flash backs of the hurricane that hit his small island home. (TW: panic attack)

Martha had just finished setting up the dining room the teens rolled in.

“I was about to call you boys in! Snacks are all laid out and ready to be dug into.” Lafayette, Hercules, and John all pawed at the food. “But!” Martha raised her volume, her tone light but authoritative. The trio stopped dead in their tracks. “Alex gets to pick which one he wants first.”

All three boys backed off, allowing Alex space to approach the table.

He wasn’t used to getting this much attention, let alone first pick of a table full of snacks. Hell, he wasn't even used to having a table full of snacks! His gaze worked its way from one side to the other. He reached a hand out for the red-vines, but changed his mind last second and grabbed the bag of kettle corn. He felt a bit sheepish as he gripped the bag and pushed it close to his chest.

“Good choice, I love kettle corn.” John said giving Alex a nudge with his elbow. Alex blushed deeply and smiled down at his feet.

“Okay, you three. Go ahead and get what you want. I’ll be in the office working. Gilbert knows where we keep the games.” Martha started to walk out as the teens rummaged through the food. “I’ll leave you to it!” She called out as she turned the corner.

 

* * *

 

Snacks in hand, the group took their respective spots on the couch. Lafayette didn’t sit down quite yet, he dropped his snacks off on the coffee table, trying his best to avoid the multitude of gifts.

“Should we start with presents or a movie?” Lafayette asked placing his final snack down.

“Gifts first!” John shouted.

“Before we do anything, I wanted to apologize.” Alex spoke up, picking at his jacket hem.

The other teens shot him questioning looks. “…for?” Hercules asked, confusion coloring his tone.

Alex pursed his lips. “For Monday. I wanted to say sorry for going after Thomas like that. I usually try not to argue, it only causes problems. I don’t know why I got so mad and I just wanted to apologize for attacking him; I know he is your friend and it wasn’t right to attack him like that and-“

Alex’s rambling was cut off by Lafayette. “Mon due! Non! He was being a total jerk!”

“Dude, Thomas can be a huge asshat sometimes. Maybe shoving him down was a bit excessive sure, but he totally deserved it!” John added.

“Yeah, there’s really no need to apologize. Plus, we got the added bonus of seeing you all fired up. You were like a whole other person!” Hercules made a wild gesture toward Alex with his hands.

Alex’s brows furrowed in confusion. “So your not… mad?” He asked, unsure of himself.

“Non! You were like un petite lion, roaring back at the competition!” Lafayette curled his hands into a claw-like position.

Alex giggled at the description. “A small lion, huh? Does that make you a giraffe?” He quipped.

Lafayette froze, his face turned bright red. Hercules’ head fell back as he let out a booming laugh. John was back to a brilliant smile, laughing along with his friend.

“I am not a giraffe, I am more of those foxes with long legs!” Lafayette stuck his leg out and motioned at it with open hands.

“That’s actually a maned wolf, it’s a common misconception. They aren’t foxes.” Alex corrected with a cheeky grin.

Lafayette waved his hand as if to dismiss the subject. “Pue importe, let us get to the presents already.” He leaned down to grab a gift bag off the table and handed it to Alex. “This one is from me.” He clarified as he sat down next to Hercules.

Alex neatly opened the gift, careful not to rip anything or make a mess. Once the tissue paper was out and carefully flattened on his knee, he reached inside and pulled out a pack of twelve high quality ball point pens. “Wow.. thank you, Laf this is great.” He set the gift down on the coffee table and put the tissue paper back in the bag before setting it on the ground to his side. “This is perfect; my pen was starting to get low on ink, so these will definitely be getting a lot of use.”

Lafayette grabbed another gift and handed to Alex.

“That one’s mine!” John stated.

Alex opened the gift with as much care as he did the other, maybe even more considering it was from John. He peeked into the bag. His eyes went wide with astonishment. He reached in, excited to pull it out and get a closer look. It was a hardcover journal with a picture of the ocean on the front and back. His fingers trailed along the shoreline in the photo. It made Alex miss Nevis so much; he always missed it, but the journal made him feel a bittersweet sense of nostalgia for the small island.

He looked John in the eyes, happy tears prickling at the corners of his own. “Thank you so much, it’s beautiful.” He reveled in the dopey grin that spread across John’s face.

“Open it!” John instructed.

Alex flipped it open to the first page; on the inside of the front cover was a handwritten message.

_Write your way out of hell, Alex._

Alex’s grin practically stretched from ear to ear. He was so absorbed in the message, he completely missed the small nudge Hercules gave Lafayette. John didn’t though, he shot both the taller teens a look that meant _I’m so done with you guys._

Alex placed the book down on the table as gently as he could. Lafayette handed him another gift from the coffee table, and Alex didn’t hesitate to begin opening it.

“That’s from me, I wasn’t too sure what you liked to Laf helped me pick it out.” Hercules confessed.

Alex pulled out a long sleeve navy blue sweater. He chuckled at the white print word ‘scrappy’ plaster across the front.

“That’s cool, I like it.”

“Yeah I wanted to get something in a color you liked, but none of us knew your favorite color, so I figured blue would be a good choice.” Hercules explained.

“It’s green.” Said Alex. _Oh shit, I sound ungrateful._  “B-but I like blue too, it’s a good color.” _That’s better._  He folded the shirt and placed it next to the pens and notebook. “It’s great, Herc. Thank you.” They exchanged pleasant smiles and Alex wondered what he did to deserve such sweet people in his life.

 

* * *

 

By the time Alex got done opening his gifts, he had accumulated a good variety of things. A book light, six different types of candy (yes, he was keeping count.), a French film that Lafayette swore was absolutely amazing, a drawing of turtles swimming in the ocean that John drew for him during lunch at school earlier that day, a pair of really cool Lilo and Stitch socks, a Lilo and Stitch brush, and a knitted scarf that Hercules had started on Tuesday when he found out Alex wouldn’t be attending school for a while. It came at a surprise to Alex that Hercules was actually quite the fashion expert. He had been learning to sew since he was a young child and grew to love making clothes the older he got. This knowledge made Alex ease up to Hercules a little more. He was a big guy, and Alex found that intimidating at first, but finding out he was actually a very sensitive and gentle person made Alex see him for the big softy he really was.

Once all the gifts were opened, Lafayette insisted they start the movie. Alex found it a bit adorable how much Lafayette loved The Little Mermaid. Apparently he had been a big fan of the movie since he was young. He loved it when the tall French teen talked so fondly about how beautiful and sad the story was, all the while entertaining and lively.

Once the movie was popped into the BluRay player, everyone got comfy on the couch and began eating their snacks. Alex quite enjoyed the music. He found it funny that Lafayette seemed to know the entire movie by heart. He had done the same thing when they watched The Hunchback Of Notre Dame, reciting the words as the characters spoke. John didn’t find it as amusing. He threw candy at Lafayette and goodheartedly told him to shut up a few times before he actually stopped singing and talking along. It wasn’t until after Ariel saw the prince that things started the go down hill.

A Storm came. The thunder cracked and suddenly Alex felt his entire body go stiff. As the storm rolled in, so did Alex’s panic. The room began to fill with water, and he felt the wind whip against his face. Another crack of thunder cause him to whimper and wrapped his hands over his head to shield himself from the impending devastation. He was shaking and could feel his strain to breathe. Alex flinched at another sound crack of thunder. He felt something tugging at him, he assumed it was the water or the wind or something. He tried to suck in a breath but only felt water enter his lungs. He was back in the middle of the hurricane. Bodies of the people he grew up around, kids he used to play with, floating in the sloshing wind torn water.

He curled in on himself, desperately wishing the storm to leave.

The wind sent chills up his spine, silent tears rolled down his cheeks, his body racked with violent shakes. Something heavy fell on top of him and suddenly, it was dark. He assumed he had just been swallowed up by a wave and when he attempted to suck in another breath, he blacked out.

 

* * *

 

The next thing Alex remember was waking up underneath a crying Martha, a comforter haphazardly draped across his frame, and surrounded by the worried faces of his friends and foster brother. He shot upright into a sitting position, sucking in a huge breath. He coughed a few times before his breathing started to even out.

“Oh thank god!” Martha cried out. She went to hug Alex, but pulled back when she saw him coward at the sudden movement. “Alex, sweetie, are you alright?!”

Alex pulled his knees in tight, pressing them up to his chest, and started to cry. He shook his head to answer Martha’s question, because no, he wasn’t. It had been a while since he had any flashbacks of the storm and hated being reminded of it. It was something he would honestly rather forget. No matter how terrible he felt though, he wasn’t sure he could talk. He was already doing his best to suppress the crying, keeping it as close to a minimum as possible.

“Oh honey, you poor thing. You stopped breathing, I had to give you CPR to get you to breath again! You passed out, **I was so scared!** ” Martha gently rubbed Alex’s back. “Do you think you could tell me what caused this?”

Alex was trembling now. The memories still flooding his mind. He did his best to calm his sobbing before trying to speak. “T-there w-was a h-hurricane…” he choked out between sobs. He rubbed the snot dripping from his nose with his jacket sleeve. “It h-hit n-Nevis And…” the image of the bodies came back to haunt his mind. “E-everything w-was _gone!_ T-there was s-so many b- _ **bodies**!_” A loud sob escaped him before he could force it down. His voice trembled just as much as his body did, and he ignored the humiliation of crying in front of people sat in the pit of his stomach.

“My god… Alex…” Martha didn’t hesitate to bring Alex into her lap and hold him; she stroked his hair and whispered comforting words to him. She sat like that, holding him for nearly fifteen minutes before he finally calmed down enough. His heartbreaking uncontrollable sobs had turned into quiet occasional sniffles.

Alex was exhausted. His body ached, his eyes stung, his head was foggy, and his entire self felt as though it had been weighed down. He ended up almost falling asleep in Martha’s lap. If it weren’t for the fact that the moment his eyes began to flutter shut, that upsetting image of bodies floating returned to his brain. His eyes snapped open, and he rubbed them hoping it could rub the memory away.

He sat up in Martha’s lap.

“M’sorry…” Alex mumbled.

“There is nothing to apologize for. I’m so sorry to hear you witnessed such a gruesome thing.” Martha stroked his hair a few times.

“Ruined the movie...”

“Non, mon ami. Je suis desolé, if I knew that you had been through such a thing, I would not have made you watch the movie. C'est de ma faute.” Lafayette was crouching beside Martha now. Alex wondered when he got there.

Alex shook his head. He wanted to protest, explain that there was no way he could have known. He didn’t talk about, he couldn’t. It was too painful to recall the events and anytime he tried, he always ended up in tears. However, the words caught in his throat. He gulped down the anxiety building up in his chest. He took in a shaky breath and his mouth hung open to speak.

“Couldn’t… talk… hurt... too much…” his voice was barely above a whisper. Martha squeezed him ever so slightly tighter when she saw his eyes begun tearing up again.

“You don’t have to.” She said. “It’s okay, you’re safe. There’s no hurricane anymore. No bodies, no washed away houses; it’s just you, me, and your friends. Just try to relax. I promise, you are not in any danger, nor any trouble.” Martha started to stroke Alex’s hair again and quietly started quietly singing a lullaby to soothe him.

Alex let the voice fill his mind. He concentrated on the calming tones of her voice. His eyes fluttered to a shut and his body relaxed any still-tense muscles left in his body, and soon, he drifted off into a peaceful slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> translations in order:  
> "My god! No!"  
> "A Small Lion"  
> "Whatever"  
> "No, my friend. I'm sorry."  
> "It's my fault."


	26. Act II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The party continues, and as it ends Alex makes a big step toward furthering his relationship with George.

When Alex awoke, he was on the couch. He blinked his eyes into focus to see John, Hercules, and Lafayette sitting around the coffee table playing a card game.

“King Mau! I win!” Lafayette shouted excitedly.

“Dude, you _totally_ cheated.” John protested.

Alex sat upright and pushed the blanket off.

“Oh, Alex! Mon petite lion! You are awake!” Lafayette reach behind to Alex and gave him a slow pat on the head. “You gave us quite a scare, are you okay now?”

Alex blushed with embarrassment. “Yeah… I’m sorry.”

“No worries, man. We’re just glad your okay now.” Hercules smiled in his direction.

“Yeah, it’s a good thing Martha was a nurse, huh?” John snickered.

The corner of Alex’s mouth curled up in a shy smile. “Yeah.” He pushes the blanket the rest of the way off his legs and turned to let his feet hang off the edge of the couch. “How long was I out?”

“Not long, maybe half an hour. Forty minutes tops. We’re playing mau, you wanna join us?” Asked Hercules.

“What’s that?” Alex tilted his head in curiosity and made his way to sit at the table.

“It’s a card game.” John explained.

“Oh I couldn’t tell.” Alex quipped. “What are the rules?”

Lafayette grinned, a twinkle in his eye alerted Alex that he was getting himself into something. “We cannot tell you.”

“What? What kind of rule is that?” Alex asked, amused that there was even such a game in existence. “Whatever, deal me in.”

 

* * *

 

“This game is total bogus!”Alex shouted, throwing his cards down after losing for the sixth time.

The other three teens laughed in unison. “It’s only hard until you learn the rules.” John chuckled as he spoke.

“Whatever, can we do something else?” Alex grumbled.

Martha knocked on the doorframe. “It’s almost dinner time, boys. How about you get washed up instead?”

“D’accord, mon mère. We will be there soon.” Lafayette gathered up the cards and neatly stacked them. Once they were put away, the group made their way toward the downstairs bathroom.

“Alex, can you come here a moment?” Martha requested.

Alex split from his friends and walked over to where Mrs. Washington stood. “Yes, Martha?”

“It looks like you’re doing better. How are you feeling?” She reached up and tucked a lot behind his ear.

“I’m doing fine. Sorry for causing trouble.”

She smiled sweetly down at him. “Oh, there’s no need you apologize. You didn’t cause trouble, I promise.” Alex smiled sheepishly back at Martha. “Now run along, it’s spaghetti night!”

 

* * *

 

The rest of the night went better than expected. Alex dreaded the moment when someone would bring up his embarrassing breakdown and ask him questions, but that moment never came. Everyone simply went about the party as if he hadn’t completely disrupted it. It was… strange. They had nothing to gain from doing so. He was thankful they let it slide, however, it confused him all the same. He decided not to press it; if they weren’t going to bring it up, he wouldn’t either.

When Lafayette took John and Hercules home, he took it upon himself to use the time to take all his gifts to his room. He gave them all a special spot where he could see each item each time he were to came in the door. He relished in how kind his friends were to give him so many amazing gifts. A knock on the door startled him out of his thoughts.

“Alex, May I come in?” It was George.

“Yes, sir.”

A turn of the knob later, George emerged from the hall and into his room. “Hey, how was the party?” He asked with a smile.

“It was fun.” Alex left out the part of his unfortunate breakdown, hoping Martha hadn’t already told him.

“That’s good, I’m glad.” George looked around at the new additions to his room. “Looks like someone got spoiled, huh?”

Alex blushed a bit. “Yeah.”

George smirked. “Well, looks like they beat me too it. I have a gift for you.” He pulled a package with orange striped wrapping paper from behind his back.

Alex gave George a questioning look.

“Open it!” The man said hand it to Alex.

Alex hopped onto his bed and began peeling the paper back to reveal an iPhone 6. Alex gasped. “Oh my god!”

“Do you like it?” George asked.

“Yes, thank you so much, sir! This is the **nicest** thing I’ve ever received!” Alex started to cry happy tears. He walked over to George, and although he was a bit nervous about it, he gave the man a tight hug anyway.

George was overwhelmed. Alex had always been hesitant with any contact at all when it came to him. This was quite an amazing step for the boy to take, and it was such a lovely change of pace. He wrapped his arms around Alex, gentle enough that the teen could break off the hug if he needed to.

They stayed that way for a moment; George soaked up every second of it. When Alex pulled away, he let him.

“Would you like help setting it up?” The man asked, hands still on Alex's shoulders.

Alex wiped the tears from his eyes and sniffled as George pulled his hands away. He nodded with a big smile on his face. “Do you… do you think Lafayette would teach me how to use it? I haven’t had one in years so I might be a bit rusty.”

“I’m sure he would love to.” George patted Alex softly on the shoulder. “Let’s go have him help you set it up, too. Once it’s up and running I know how to work any electronic, but getting it set up is the hard part for me.” George confessed with a chuckle. “We’ll have to wait until tomorrow to add you to our plan. Until then, it can still work just fine with internet.”

“Oh, wait!” Alex suddenly said wiping the remaining tears from his eyes. “He’s taking John and Hercules home, I don’t know when he’ll be back.”

“Okay, well, he should be back soon; They don’t live very far. Come get me when he makes it back.” He turned to make his exit. “I’ll be in my study, like always.” He closed the door on his way out.

Alex gleamed at the sight of his new phone in his hands. It really was the nicest thing he’d ever received, and definitely the most expensive. He got excited knowing Lafayette would be home soon, so he rushed downstairs and waited in the family room.

 

* * *

 

George waltzed into the study feeling like his entire day had just been made.

“What’s got you in such a good mood, dear?” Martha said with a smile and quirk of her brow.

“Love, you should have **seen it!** Alex was **so happy** when he saw the phone, he started crying a little!” He sat down at his office chair. “That’s not even the best part! **He hugged me** , Martha! An actual _genuine_ hug!” He swirled around in a circle.

Martha went wide eyed with amazement, ignoring that her husband just spun in his chair like a little kid. “He what?”

“Yeah! **He actually hugged me!** ” George was grinning ear to ear.

“Oh my god, that’s amazing!”

“ **I know!** ” George leaned back in his chair with flop. He brought a hand up to cover his face. Happy tears started to roll down his cheeks. “I was so scared, I thought he would never open up enough to let me hug him, and he hugged **me** first!” He removed the hand from his face and looked at her through watery eyes with an incredulous smile.

Martha began to tear up as well. She smiled wide and made her way to her husband’s desk. “Oh, George that’s such a great thing to hear. You have no idea how _happy_ that makes me.” She said as they embraced one another. After a second she pulled away. “I really hate to ruin the mood, but something happened today.”

George’s smile dropped and was replaced with a worried expression. “What happened? Is everything okay?”

“For now, but I think we need to get Alex into therapy.” She pulled her husband from his desk chair over to the love seat.

“I mean I’m not going to argue with that, but I’m not exactly sure why you would only bring this up now.” George watched as Martha intertwined her fingers with his.

“Earlier today, the boys were watching The Little Mermaid. You know the part when the storm comes and the ship gets wrecked?”

George nodded and waited for her to continue.

“Well, Alex quite literally freaked out. Apparently, before he came to the U.S. there was a hurricane that hit his island, and he witnessed horrible, horrible things. When I got in the room, he had stopped breathing and passed out. I gave him CPR and when he finally came to, he cried his heart out. He talked about seeing bodies, George!” Martha had started to cry at this point. “The poor boy, he was shaking! His entire home was destroyed, the people he knew personally, he watched them die..!”

George pulled Martha in and held her while she cried. He shed a few tears himself.

Once Martha had calmed, George pulled away. “I think… you’re right. We’re getting him into therapy.”

Martha nodded. She was so thankful to have her husband by her side through everything.

 

———

 

Back in the family room, Alex watched T.V. until he heard the distant sound of the front door unlocking. Alex rushed to his feet to go greet his foster brother.

He turned the corner and the moment he laid eyes on Lafayette, he tripped. He fell to his knees with a hard thud. The phone, still in its case, crashed to the ground slid across the hardwood floor. It stopped right at the French teens feet.

“Mon ami! You must be more careful!” Lafayette reached down to pick up the phone and hurried to Alex’s side. “Are you alright?”

“Never mind me! Is the phone okay? Is it broken?” Alex grabbed the box from Lafayette’s hands and inspected it. He got worried when he saw a small crack on the corner, but sighed with relief when it was clear that the phone inside remained unharmed.

“I guess Père got you a phone, oui?” Lafayette chuckled.

“Yeah, Sorry. I got excited to show you, and I guess I was going too fast.”

Lafayette helped Alex to his feet. Alex winced at a sudden pain in his right knee. “Oh, does it hurt?” Lafayette asked in a concerned tone.

“I’m fine. It’s okay, just a little pain.” Alex reassured.

“Are you sure? Should we have Martha take a look?”

Alex was upright and the pain seemed to be gone, only remnants of a sore joint remaining. “No no, I’m okay.” He dusted off his pants and did his best to walk it off. He forced back a wince with each step and tried not let his footwork look as forced as it felt.

They walked to the family room together. “So tell me, little one. Why were you in such a hurry?” Lafayette said as he sat down with Alex on the leather couch.

“Well, you see, I’ve only had one phone previously. It was like three years ago too, so I was wondering… if you would help me get it set up?” Alex didn’t mean to give Lafayette puppy dog eyes, but honestly, that’s exactly what they were.

“You do not need the puppy eyes; Of course I will help!”

Alex beamed at that. “Thank you so much!”

With the help of his friend, the two spent the next hour on the project. Lafayette help him make his first Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, as well as an email. By the time they finished up, Martha alerted them that it was time for bed.

As Alex laid in bed that night, he went over the events of the day. Despite taking the vibe down a notch or ten, his heart filled with joy from how much he absolutely loved the people around him. He drifted off into a peaceful slumber for the first in a long time, letting his bliss fill his dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry it's taken me so long to post again! I spent several days rewriting the chapter before I decided to just scrap it completely and start over. I ended up just going a completely different direction. Things should be evening out from here on out, but don't worry! drama is still gonna be in there.


	27. Everyone Is Gay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title sums it up. everyone is super gay in many ways except maybe aaron burr but I haven't exactly figured that part out yet. also I was homeschooled I have no idea how highschool works so don't hate me!! lastly thomas isn't as big of a jerk as he could be? gold star for his efforts?"

A few days had passed since the party. George had kept his word and added Alex to their phone plan on Saturday. Alex had spent most of Sunday texting John after Lafayette plugged his and Hercules’ numbers into his contacts. Today however, was Monday; Which meant Alex was going back to school. He barely got any sleep due to his excitement over the matter. He got out of his room early to make sure he could shower before Lafayette had a chance to snag the bathroom. He ate quickly, but his plate was still not as full as everyone else’s at the table. As he waited for everyone to finish up, his knee bounced with anticipation.

“Alex, I forgot to mention this yesterday, but Gilbert informed me you didn’t have any lunch money. I made sure to add money to your account so you didn’t have to worry about it anymore.” George brought up as he scraped his plate clean of scrambled eggs and ketchup.

“Thank you, sir.” Alex replied a little uneasy. He didn’t feel right about making them pay for his food, but Lafayette had made sure to reassure him that they would be more than happy to take care of it, so he let it go.

“It’s not a problem, so-“ George paused a bit awkwardly. “Alex.”

Alex’s heart warmed at that. He appreciated how careful George was not to call him son. He had accidentally slipped a few times, but always corrected the mistake.

Before long, everyone had finished up breakfast, and it was time to go. Lafayette and Alex piled into George’s car and headed out. Martha was working from home that day, so she stayed behind. When they arrived at the school building, Alex followed George to the main office as he had done so a week prior.

“Mr. Washington, Mr. Hamilton, it’s good to see you again.” Principal Adams said as he shook George’s hand and offered a handshake to Alex.

Alex took the hand and made sure his grip was a strong one. “Hello, sir.” He said with a small but polite smile.

“We’ve got your schedule worked out, and we have a guide to show you to your classes.” Principal Adams motioned to a boy waiting off to the side.

Alex gave the boy a look over. He had a shaved head, dark brown skin and slightly chubby cheeks that gave him a healthy look. His face, however, was unreadable, blank, and not complimentary at all to his good looking features. He was taller than Alex, maybe two or three inches. He took a step forward and extended a hand toward Alex. “Aaron Burr, sir, it’s a pleasure.”

Alex took the hand and lifted a curious brow. He disliked how muted the boy seemed to make his expressions. His self-introductory statement was bland and held a small fragment of restraint in it. “Alex, the pleasure is all mine.”

The boy retreated to his spot without another word, and Alex swore he caught a glimpse of boredom.

“Well, now that you are acquainted, let me get your schedule from the printer, and we’ll get you set off to your first class.” Principal Adams walked off to another room and quickly returned with a piece of paper in hand. He handed it to Alex, whom in turn took it and quickly scanned over the sheet.

“Um…” Alex spoke up.

“Is there a problem?” George asked.

“I’m supposed to be in AP mathematics. Also, I was wondering; who would I talk to to join debate club?”

“Ah.” Principal Adams reached out for the sheet and looked it over. “I will make sure to fix the math issue. For today, just go about the schedule as planned.” He handed it back to Alex. “As for debate club, Mrs. Ramsey is in charge of that. I would talk to Ms. Elizabeth Schuyler, though. She’s the brains of the operation, so you’ll need to ask her about it.”

‘Schuyler. That name sounds familiar…’ Alex took a second to think about it. When his memories came up empty handed, he brushed it off figuring he’ll remember it later. “Okay, thank you, sir.”

Aaron once again stepped forward and motioned toward the door. “Shall we?” He said with just the same blandness as before.

Alex nodded and followed after the boy but stopped and turned around. “Hold on, I forgot.” He rushed over to George and gave him a short hug.

George’s heart soared. ‘Two hugs in just a few days, what amazing progress he’s making!’ He giddily thought to himself. “Have a good day, Alex.” He said as the boy broke off the hug and ran back to Aaron.

Alex waved back at George before following his guide through the office doors.

 

 

* * *

 

“It looks like a week off did him some good.” Principal Adams nodded to the door Alex and Aaron had disappeared behind.

“Yeah, he’s come a long way in just a week.” George agreed, the smile still present on his face.

“When I saw him last, he looked like he felt so out of place.” Principal Adams turned to walk into his office. “It’s like a whole new kid, honestly. He’s way more confident than before. Hopefully he doesn’t pick any more fights.”

“Yeah, no kidding. I’ll see you around, John. I have to get to work.” George and Principal Adams exchanged another handshake.

As George went to make his exit, John spoke up one last time. “Oh! George, old friend, make sure you fax over Alex’s birth records. They weren’t in the files you sent, so that’s the last thing I need.” He said sitting down at his desk.

“Oh… they weren’t in there?” George lifted a brow.

“No, but I’d like to get that straightened out soon, so if you could please.”

“Yes, of course.” George turned and left the office. ‘How odd.’ He thought, making his way to the car. ‘I’ll have to go through my papers and see if the foster agency sent it over’

 

* * *

 

Alex walked alongside Aaron. For a few minutes they were quiet.

The silence was broken when Aaron decided to finally talk. “So, you're Mr. and Mrs. Washington’s son? They only had a foster kid to my knowledge.”

Alex cringed at the word ‘son’. “I’m not their son.” He corrected.

“My mistake. Another foster kid, then?” Aaron asked as they neared Alex’s first class.

“What’s it to you?” The small teen asked defensively. He didn’t like people being invasive toward other’s personal matters.

“Nothing, just curious.” The blank look Aaron seemed to have faltered just enough for Alex to see the sympathy beneath it. “I’m a foster kid too, if you must know.”

Alex deflated a bit. “I see.” He hadn’t expected the other boy to be a foster child. He certainly didn’t carry himself like any foster child Alex had met.

“My parents weren’t around. They died in a car crash when I was small. You can keep your questions to yourself, I have no intent to answer any of them.” Alex barely caught the flicker of frustration in Aaron’s tone, but it was definitely there.

Alex wondered how many times other people had fished for information on his unfortunate story, how many times he had to repeat the explanation over and over until the words became dull and apathetic to his own self.

Aaron pulled the door to the classroom open, and waited for Alex to go in first. “This is your first class, world history.” He stated, walking in behind Alex.

Alex took in the crowd of his classmates. He fought the urge to roll his eyes when he saw not only James Maddison, but who other than Thomas Jefferson sitting in the next seat over. That god forsaken magenta button up made Alex want to gag from disgust. _So a week later, and he’s still rocking purple._  Alex ignored the two, instead turning to the teacher in hopes of flexing his charm in front of ~~that pompous bigot~~  his classmates.

“Hello, I’m Alex. I’m a new student here, and I’m looking forward to learning as much as I can while under the roof of this fine establishment.”

When he saw the unconscious change in Thomas’ face from noticing Alex's presence in his peripherals, a smirk made its way onto his face.

“Yes, hello Mr. Hamilton. I’ve been expecting your arrival.” The teacher said giving a small nod. “I’m Mr. Salinsky, but you can call me Mr. S. It’s great to have you here. Please take a seat, so you can join us.”

Alex nodded in return and followed behind Aaron, whom had moved past Alex to take a seat in the middle row. To Alex’s dismay, the seat the other teen had chosen was directly in front of Thomas and James. He sat down next to Aaron, suppressing the groan he wanted so badly to let out.

“We were just about to discuss…” Mr. S continued his lesson without a second thought.

Thomas leaned forward in his seat. “Hey.” He whispered while giving Alex a poke in the arm.

Alex really didn’t want to address him, but he did anyway out of curiosity for what the teen could possibly have to say.

“After class, I need to speak with you. Wait up for me, okay?”

Alex scrunched his nose in annoyance, as well as confusion. “Fine.” He agreed with reluctance. In all honesty, he had half expected some witty cut at his expense. If it was just talking Thomas wanted, Alex could easily take him down with words, so he wasn’t scared in the slightest.

 

* * *

 

Class had been uneventful, which was a surprise in the least. Upon seeing Thomas and his friend initially, he had prepared himself for an hour of torture. Nothing of the sort occurred though, and it left Alex even more curious than before. After the lesson had ended, Alex stayed behind just as promised, unsure what to anticipate from the conversation ahead.

“Alex, I’ll be outside.” Aaron stated as he made his way to the door.

“Okay, I’ll be there in a minute.”

Alex had to admit, he wasn’t super fond of the lackluster emotion Aaron would display, but he supposed it was nice to have someone who didn’t have any drama, nor any outright opinions, no matter how much is frustrated him. Aaron seemed like a good kid, even if he **was** oh so very bland.

Alex turned to Thomas, who was quickly approaching, James like a shadow following behind. Alex braced himself for the inevitable fight- whether verbal or physical- that was to come.

“Thanks for waiting up for me. It was _imperative_ that I spoke with you” Thomas said, obviously trying to make himself sound above the southern accent in his voice.

“And what is it that you found so _imperative_ to _converse_ with me about?” Alex matched his tone, trying his best to carry himself with just as much self-respect.

Thomas seemed to fidget a tiny bit at Alex’s sudden and harsh switch to what Alex would describe at ‘I’m better than you’ attitude. “Well, you see” he continued. “Over the course of the week, your absence, as well as a few words with our mutual friend _Lafayette,_ has helped me come to the decision that I may have committed many errors.” The tall dark-skinned teen leaned against the table behind him. “Firstly, I would like to extend an apology for demeaning you for your background as an orphan, as well as an immigrant. It was wrong of me to insult you for those things, as I now realize, they are not things we can help.”

Alex was stunned. Out of a list of things he had expected the conversation to be about, this certainly was not one of them. An apology? What the actual **fuck?**

“ _Secondly,_ I have since **delved** myself into the **specifics** on the financially less fortunate, and I would like to make a second apology for my **insensitive** words. I was unaware at the time that the words and information I had been fed was in fact, **wrong and biased.** ”

Alex felt like his head was spinning. Really, **what the actual serious fuck was going on?**

“ _Third,_ I wanted to say I’m still mad that you pushed me and tried to punch me. I understand your anger now, however, it does not excuse your rather **undignified actions** against me.”

Literally _nothing on earth_ could have prepared Alex for the next thing to come out of Thomas’s mouth.

Thomas went back upright to stop his lean on the table, and fixed the collar of his shirt.

“Now, the fourth, and last thing I wanted to say, _may come at a surprise_ for you.” He looked Alex in the eyes, taking satisfaction in the confused expression the small boy made. “ **I’m gay.** ” He smirked with a very confident quirked brow. “Care to go out to dinner with me some time? My treat, _of course._ ”

Alex could not believe his ears. His hand came up to his mouth to stifle the laugh that threatened to make it’s way out, but it was no use. He burst into a laughing fit, leaving Thomas and James both very much so confused.

“You must be out of your **god damn mind,** if you think some long winded apology is going to get me to **agree to a date!** ” Alex struggled to get out in between laughs.

Thomas’s entire face went red with embarrassment.

Alex was able to calm his giggles enough to speak properly. “Thomas, I have to admit; that was a _real nice declaration,_ and I really appreciate your effort to make peace. However, I’m afraid I will have to **disincline you acquiesce**  for the dinner.“ He said playfully mocking Thomas’s try for a sophisticated speech pattern. “While I’m here, my only goal is to further my education. I have no desire to date anyone at this point in time. Maybe try asking again once we’ve become better friends.” He gave Thomas a pat on the shoulder and made his way to the exit. “See you around, Thomas!” He said throwing up a peace sign on his way out the door.

 

* * *

 

Thomas was flabbergasted, no, humiliated. “Can you _believe_ that guy?” He huffed as his southern drawl came out. He picked his bag off the floor with force.

“At least he was honest.” James mumbles under his breath as he walked with Thomas out of the classroom.

“God, to think I actually _asked him out_ , and he _laughed_ right in my face!” The southern twang intensified against his will.

“It could have gone worse.” James tried, once again, to show Thomas the bright side.

“Jemmy, he _laughed_ in my face!” Thomas grumbled as they walked to their next class.

“He could have turned you down because he wasn’t into guys, now we at least know that he definitely is.” They stepped in line for A.P. Chemistry.

“Yeah, I guess your right.” Thomas grumbled. “Still, a simple _no_ would have sufficed.”

 

* * *

 

Alex kept occasionally giggling to himself over the course of his next classes. In Art history, he found out he shared the class with John; which made him happy.

“John, do I have some tea for you.” Alex said slipping into the seat beside his friend, a cheeky grin on his face.

“Oh boy, what happened?” John said instantly leaning in toward the other boy.

“So turns out I share my first period with Thomas and James.”

John raised his brows. “This’ll be fun.”

“Yeah so, I get in, sit down, and he pokes me and is like ‘hey I need to talk to you, wait for me after class’.” Alex mimicked a southern accent. “So I do, and he goes on this whole five minute speech about how sorry he is, using big kid words like _imperative_  and _delved_ , totally making himself sound like a  **tool**.”

John snickered. “Oh my god, _seriously?_ _"_

“Yeah, and at the end he’s all like _this may come at a surprise, but **I’m gay.** Would you like to go to dinner with me? My treat of course._”

Both boys broke out into hushed laughter. “He did not!” John nudged Alex with his elbow.

“He did! I just laughed at him and basically said _thanks for the apologies, but no thanks._ ”

“Okay class, art history starts now. Enough chit chat and let’s return to where we last left off.” The teacher, Mrs. Donald, cut in between the chatter of the class. Alex and John stopped with the giggles as their attention snapped to the whiteboard.

“So I’m guessing that means you’re not into guys?” John whispered, a little let down.

Alex wasn’t sure how to answer. He had come out as bisexual before, but it ended badly just like everything else in his life. _This is different, though. It’s John, he can be trusted... I think._  He tried his best to convince himself. He sucked in a breath, his heart was pounding in his chest. “I am.” He whispered back. The surprised expression on John made Alex want to hide away and never come out. “But… not exclusively? I’m- I’m bisexual.”

John stared back into those big brown doe eyes that seemed to give off both fear, and hope. Something in his heart went alight after hearing the words. He was into guys; whether or not it was exclusive, he was still into guys and well… John happened to be a guy that was also into guys.

“Is that okay..?” Alex asked hesitantly, fearing the worst from John’s silence.

“Oh, yeah that’s totally okay!” John said just a bit too loud.

“Mr. Laurens. Please pay attention to the lesson, and stop the chatting, or you’ll spend the rest of the period at the Principal’s office. Do I make myself clear?” Mrs. Donald interjected.

John shrunk in his seat. “Yes, ma’am.”

Mrs. Donald turned back to the whiteboard and continued with the lesson.

John turned to Alex with an apologetic look. “Just so you know, I’m into guys.” He whispered. “Exclusively.” He added.

“You’re not going to ask me to dinner, are you?” Alex quipped.

John smiled. “No, I wasn’t planning on it.”

Alex wasn’t sure why, but he felt a little disappointed to hear that. He pushed the feeling down and put on a brave face. “Well, that’s good. I’m not in a place to date right now. I want to focus on my education before I worry about relationships.”

John felt the disappointment this time. Just like Alex, he pushed in down. He had never planned on asking Alex out; Now he was sure that it was the right decision, whether it hurt or not. He would just have to be comfortable with watching Alex from afar, at least until Alex was ready to start dating. Or forever, depending on if it could jeopardize the group's friendship. or worse, his friendship with Alex.

 

* * *

 

Lunchtime came, and Alex was actually hungry for once. Standing in line felt a bit awkward by himself. He kept his head down and silently went over the conversation he had with Thomas. He wondered whether or not he was just teasing when he had proposed a date, but couldn’t think of a reason why the southern teen would go through the trouble of constructing a complex apology just to turn around and tease him. His mind wandered to John and their mutual confessions. He guessed it wouldn’t be terrible, going on a date, and having someone to call his own. He shook his head to clear the thought. A relationship was the last thing he needed right now. Alex was at the front of the line now, so relationship thoughts could wait. He ordered his food, ignoring the mild guilt from George and Martha’s gift of lunch money.

He pulled his tray off the line and quickly located his friends sitting at the same table as last week.

“Hey guys!” He shouted as he approached the table.

“Hey Alex!” Lafayette shouted back. “Tell me your opinion, mon ami. Do you think I would look better in a dress, or a skirt?” He asked as Alex squished in between him and John.

Alex was confounded. “I didn’t know you were into that kind of stuff, Laf.”

“Yes, I am non-binary and I feel feminine lately. I hope it does not bother you, and if it does…” Lafayette took a bite of his food. “Don’t expect me to stop, because I won’t.” He said with a full mouth.

“Si c'est le cas, vous pouvez simplement le pousser et le frapper.” Thomas added as he and James took the seats on the side of the table adjacent to the others.

“I would walk like air, Thomas.” Lafayette warned.

“What?” Thomas tilted his head in confusion. “Walk like air?”

Lafayette thought for a second. “I may have said that wrong.” He turned to Alex and gave him a soft swat on the shoulder. “Alex, what is that American saying? You know the one about walking? It is used to say to be careful.”

Alex was just as confused as Thomas. He racked his brain for a moment before- “oh! Are you trying to say _tread lightly?”_ He was confident this was the one.

“Oui! C'est celui-là! Merci petit lion!” Lafayette shouted with excitement.

The group shared a laugh. “Walk like air, my god Laf! Six years and you still have learning to do.” Thomas chuckled.

Lafayette blushed with embarrassment. “It is not my fault! You Americans and your silly phrases! How can I learn them all perfectly?” He pouted, crossing his arms.

“It’s fine dude, it’s understandable that you would mess up once in a while! Not everyone can speak multiple languages.” Hercules chimed in.

“I can speak three…” Alex added.

“ **Three?** What the heck! You overachiever!” John exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air.

“Not really, I learned to speak them growing up. We spoke English, Spanish, and French on the island.”

“¿Qué? ¡No sabía que hablabas español!” John smiled brightly. “¿Por qué nadie me lo dijo?”

“Probablemente porque no hablo de eso. La mayoría de las personas hablan inglés aquí, por lo que normalmente no cambio a otros idiomas.” Alex explained.

“Guys, you realize no one else speaks Spanish here, right?” Thomas cut in.

“That was the whole point, Tommy.” John quipped back.

“Don’t call me that.” Thomas snapped. “You aren’t allowed. Only James is.” He said taking a bite of his food.

“My mistake.” John said with a devious smirk.

The rest of the meal went about the same, occasional smart alec comments, laughter, and friendly jokes. Alex hadn’t even realized he had finished everything on his plate until he was already heading to his next class. He wondered just how had he managed to lose track of his consumption like that? It would remain a mystery to him as the day went on.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> translations in order:  
> "If it does, you can just push him over and punch him."  
> "Yes! That’s the one! Thank you, little lion!"  
> "What? I didn’t know you spoke Spanish!"  
> "Why didn’t anyone tell me?"  
> "Probably because I don’t talk about it. Most people speak English here, so I don’t normally switch over to other languages."


	28. Therapy's For The Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> George and Martha approach Alex. They ask him to consider therapy, but his reaction is much different than they had hoped. It's Alex's first time lashing out at them.

Alex felt a lot of emotions as he walked to Martha’s car; happiness, pride, satisfaction. The day had gone much better than he had anticipated and for that, he was thankful. He followed Lafayette, climbing into the car after exchanging their goodbyes with his friends.

“How did your day go, boys?” Martha asked in a chipper tone as she pulled out of the parking and onto the street.

“It was great!” Alex replied, unable to keep the smile off his face.

“Oui, we had much fun at lunch! Alex and Thomas seem to have worked things out!” Said Lafayette.

“That’s wonderful to hear! I guess that means you both apologized?”

‘Oh. Shit.’ “Well… he did. I forgot.” Alex’s smile dropped.

“Alex, tomorrow I want you to apologize to him.” Martha said in a very parent-like voice. “Promise me you will?”

“Yes, ma’am. I promise.”

“Good.” Martha tucked a lock behind her ear while keeping her eyes on the road. “George will be home late again, he had to stay at the office and go over a few things with senator Laurens.”

“Laurens… that’s John’s last name too.” Alex stated.

“Oui, that is not a coincidence. John is senator Laurens son.” Lafayette explained.

“Oh. Is that how you met? Through the senator?” Alex thought it quite curious that he was only finding this information out just now.

“It is!” Lafayette peeled his jacket off and continued to talk. “Senator Laurens came over for dinner during my first month with Martha and George. John came with his father, we got along well, and from there he introduced me to Hercules!”

“Wow, so you’ve known each other for that long?” Alex asked as he stuffed his own jacket into his backpack, mimicking Lafayette.

“Oui, it was always the three of us.”

“What about Thomas and James? How did you meet them?” Asked Alex, burning with curiosity.

“I have actually known Thomas since I still lived in France. His parents were there on business, and as the oldest of his siblings, just like me, he was learning to take over from the time he was young.”

Alex listened intently as Lafayette recalled the past.

“We met at a grand party. It was his first time going; I had gone the year before, so when we were introduced, I took the chance to show him how to act, what to do; you know, proper party etiquette and what not.” Lafayette said with a fond smile gracing his features. “He was so shy back then, he was not always so outspoken.”

“Really? Thomas?” Alex asked, tilting his head.

“Oui! After knowing each other for a while, he came out of his shell and we became great friends!”

“George and I were at the part as well!”

“Oh?” Alex leaned in toward Martha to hear her better.

“Yeah, that’s when we initially met Gilbert as well as Thomas. Gilbert’s father was an old friend of George’s; They met when George was still in the military. We were invited to stay in their guest house and attend the party as a show of friendship between the two.”

“Thomas’s family returned to the states a few months later, and we fell out of contact for a while.” Lafayette paused before continuing. “When my parents passed away, George and Martha took me in.”

“He was Gilbert’s godfather.” Martha explained.

“And I am glad I came here, I was able to see my friend Thomas again, He introduced me to James, and I have the best adopted parents I could ever ask for!” Lafayette gave Martha a loving squeeze on her shoulder.

Alex nodded to show he was listening. He smiled a bit; it was nice hearing how things had turned out for Lafayette. He definitely deserved to have a second chance at a normal life. ‘Maybe…’ He thought. ‘if he was able to get that chance, maybe I could get it too..?’

The rest of the drive was relatively silent. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence; it was peaceful and warm.

 

* * *

 

The week passed in the blink of an eye. Alex was starting to grow comfortable in his routine. Getting up for school, get ahead of his studies when he got home, spend some time watching Disney movies with Lafayette, eat dinner, then attempt to sleep only to end up writing until he felt tired enough to pass out. His nightmares came and went as they always had, and when it got bad, he would sleep in Lafayette’s room on the floor.

When Friday came, Martha approached him in his room as he worked on his homework just like any other day.

“Alex, can I pull you away for just a second?” She asked standing in the doorway.

“Sure, let me just finish this sentence.” Alex replied turning back to the papers sprawled across his desk.

“Of course. I’ll be downstairs in the office; Just come see me when your ready.” She turned and disappeared into the hall.

Alex continued his writing; he had almost forgot he had somewhere to be when he realized he was a good four or five sentences past where he said he would stop. ‘Whoops’ He thought, gently dropping the pen to the desk, and sliding the chair out. He rushed out of his room and downstairs, hoping Martha would be too upset with him for making her wait so long. He got to the office door, lifted his hand to knock, but stopped. That anxiety over knocking on doors always caught him off guard. The moment it dissipated, he would often times forget about it. He sucked in a nervous breath and softly knocked, ignoring the twist in his stomach.

“Come on in, sweetie.” Martha called out from the other side.

Alex took hold of the handle. _I wonder if I’m in trouble..?_  Stress began to move its way into his head. He pushed the door open, cringing slightly at the very audible creek it made. He looked into the room, noting that not only Martha was inside, but George as well.

Martha sat on the love seat, George in his desk chair pulled close to Martha.

“Come sit down, Alex. Martha and I wanted to speak with you.” George instructed.

Alex gulped and took hesitant steps towards them. He sat on the far side of the love seat, keeping the Washington’s as well as the door in his line of vision. He racked his brain for something he could have done to cause them to pull him in here.

“So, George and I we’re talking, and we hope you will agree with us on the decision.” Martha started.

Alex didn’t like where this was going. He heard similar words before being sent packing. He was behaving as best as he could, he hadn’t caused any trouble in over two weeks, why would they send him away now?

“We’ve talked a lot about this, and think it’s what is best for you.” Martha added.

Alex felt like he was going to cry, scream, throw up, anything would be preferable over hearing this.

“We think you should see a therapist.” George finished.

 _Oh._ Alex’s inner turmoil dispersed instantaneously. “Therapist..?” He asked more to himself.

“Yes, we think it could benefit you to have someone who could give you advice, listen to your thoughts, as well as offer up helpful coping mechanisms.” Martha supplied.

Frustration made it’s way into the vacant spot that just a moment ago held worry. “There’s nothing wrong with me.” He protested.

“We’re not saying there is, we are merely saying that you’ve been through a lot and a therapist could help you deal with some of that.” George explained with crossed arms.

“There’s nothing to deal with, I’m _fine._ ” Alex protested once again, this time a little more frustration coming out in his voice.

“Alex, sweetheart, please calm down a bit. We just want to help-“ Martha placed a hand Alex’s shoulder, but the boy stood, jerking his shoulder away from the touch.

“I don’t _need_ help! I’ve been doing just _fine!”_ He shouted.

“Son, there’s **no need** for that tone!” George raised his voice a bit in response.

“ **I’m not your son!** ” Alex spat back. “And I **don’t need a therapist!** I’m not some **_broken kid_** that needs to be fixed!” He clenched his fists at his sides.

“Alex, we don’t think you’re broken, we just want to help you!” Martha’s voice raised as well but held more desperation than George’s did.

“Well, **stop it!** I’m perfectly fine, _okay?_ **I don’t need your fucking pity!** ” Alex was practically yelling now.

“Watch your mouth, young man!” George snapped. “Would you like another week off school?”

“You can’t do that to me just because you won’t admit that I don’t need to see a therapist!” Alex was trembling with anger.

“You need to see someone, son-“

“ **CALL ME SON _ONE MORE TIME!_** _”_ Alex yelled, pointing a finger in George’s face.

George’s face was contorted into an angry expression. “Go to your room, Alexander. You **will** see a therapist, and **that’s an order.** ” He said in an eerily calm voice.

Alex withdrew his finger, a chill running up his spine from hearing his full name said in such a way. He knew he shouldn’t have yelled, but he couldn’t help it; he was just so mad. “But sir-” he tried once last time to protest, the rage in his voice faltering just slightly.

“ **Go to your room.** ” George barked.

Alex dug his fists into his jacket pockets and stormed off. He somewhat heard Lafayette asking him to watch a movie, but he certainly was not in the mood to do that. He brushed past Lafayette without a word and rushed upstairs. Once he was in his room, Alex slammed the door shut, making sure it was loud enough for George and Martha to hear it.

Alex paced furiously across his bedroom floor. He tried to calm himself, but to no avail. His nostrils flared, his breath coming out wild and loud through his nose. There was only one thing that always did the trick when he got like this. He pushed his left sleeve up and bit down on the skin of his forearm. He whimpered at the pain, feeling it sting and seer. Soon enough, his anger had subsided enough for him to relax his jaw. He pushed his sleeve back down and flopped onto the bed. His arms wrapped tight around his frame, bringing his legs up to his chest.

 

* * *

 

“I cannot _believe_ he spoke to you like that!” George was pacing from the door to the love seat.

“George, calm down. Flying off the handle isn’t going to solve anything!” Martha commanded, arms folded and one leg bouncing.

“How are you so calm?! We tried to help him, and this is how he acts?!” George shouted incredulously.

“George, _sit down!”_ Martha watched her husband stop in his tracks. Her brow was wrinkled tight into a furrow. She pointed to the cushion next to her with ferocity.

George huffed, walked over to the love seat, plopping down on it and crossing his arms. “I just don’t understand, Martha! Why would he get _so mad_ over this?”

Martha frowned sympathetically. “He’s dealt with his issues alone for years, dear. He doesn’t think he needs help, because he’s not used to getting it.” She rested her head on her husbands shoulder. “We just need to be patient and try again when he’s had some time to cool down.”

George relaxed and brought an arm over her shoulder. “I still don’t like how he spoke to you.”

Martha giggled. “Yes, yes, I know. Just try not to take it personally.”

 

* * *

 

Alex heard a knock on his door. He lifted his head up to look over at it, and sat up, wiping the tears from his eyes. “Who is it?”

“It is me, can I come in?” He heard Lafayette say.

He really didn’t feel like having Lafayette see him like this, but didn’t want to worry the teen further. He hopped off the bed and strode over to the door, cracking it open. “I’m not really in the mood to watch a movie, Laf. Maybe later.”

Lafayette took in the sight of Alex’s tear stained cheeks and puffy eyes. “Ce n’est pas pour ça que je suis ici. ESt ce que ça va? J'ai entendu beaucoup de cris et vous avez pris la fuite si soudainement, donc je voulais vous surveiller.”

“Je vais bien, ce n’est rien.” Alex tried to sound as convincing as possibly, but silently cursed at how his voice came out weak and unsure.

“Ce n’est évidemment pas rien, petit Alex. Tu peux me parler, je promets de ne le dire à personne.” Lafayette wanted to reach out and hug Alex, but decided that wouldn’t be a smart move to make.

Alex chewed his lip. Lafayette had proven he was trustworthy thus far, so maybe it would be okay? “D'accord…” he relented, pulling the door the rest of the way open.

Lafayette followed Alex to his bed, both sitting down on the edge. “Alors, qu'est-ce-qu'il s'est passé?” He asked, studying Alex’s face.

“George et Martha… ils pensent que j'ai besoin de voir un thérapeute.” Alex confessed.

Lafayette nodded in response. “C’est une bonne chose, non? Ils essaient de vous aider, n'est-ce pas?”

“Je n’ai pas besoin d’aide, cependant. Je me débrouille bien tout seul.” Alex protested, parroting his words from earlier.

Lafayette made a sympathetic face. “Alex, tu as des cauchemars qui te font hurler et tu tressaillis si quelqu'un te touche ou s'il y a un son fort. J'appellerais difficilement cela _juste bien._ ” He scooted a smidge closer to Alex. “Ils n'essayent pas de dire que vous ne pouvez pas y faire face. Vous pouvez et vous avez. Cependant, vous avez tout traité seul et vous finirez par en avoir trop à gérer tout seul. Je pense que c’est trop depuis un moment.”

Alex frowned. “Mais-“

“Je sais que vous ne vous sentez pas comme ça, tout ce que je dis, peut-être qu’une petite aide n’est pas une si mauvaise chose Nous avons tous besoin d'aide parfois.” Lafayette lifted his arms up for hug.

Alex leaned into Lafayette’s chest and let the tall boy embrace him.

“Just give it a try at least, oui?” Lafayette suggested as he gently rubbed the small teen’s back.

“Okay…” Alex replied. “I should apologize for yelling.” He said pulling away from the hug.

“I think that is a good idea.” Lafayette smiled warmly down at Alex. “Would you like me to come with?”

Alex nodded silently and followed Lafayette out of his room.

They made their way downstairs, Lafayette knocked on the office door for Alex, which he was incredibly grateful for. “Mère, Père, may we come in?”

The door pulled open, Alex lowered his head in shame, not daring to look up. “Come on in, Gilbert.” Martha said gently as she motioned for them to enter. She walked back over to her spot on the loveseat next to George.

“Alex would like to say something.” Lafayette looked back at Alex, and put a hand on his shoulder.

Alex took a shaky step forward. He kept his head down, still refusing to look up. “I’m sorry for yelling…” Alex picked at the hem of his jacket. “…a-and for swearing at you.”

“Oh, sweetie it’s okay. I know it’s hard to accept help. I’m not mad.” Martha said compassionately. “We’re sorry for trying to push it on you-“

“No, it’s not okay. I’m not… okay.” Tears bubbled up from Alex’s eyes. “You were right, I’m messed up and-“ He took in a shaky breath. “And I’m sorry!” Alex fell to his knees and let out a wail.

Martha instinctively rushed to his side, wrapping her arms around the small boy. “Honey, you are not messed up. You’ve been through such horrible traumas, it’s a miracle that you’re alive right now!” She squeezed tighter as Alex continued to cry. “Everything that happened to you cannot be easily forgotten or moved past, that’s why we wanted you to see a therapist! We wanted to help you in any way we could think of, Alex.” She pulled away and cupped his cheeks with both hands. Alex reveled in his cold skin heating up from Martha’s touch. It was grounding, real, and in that moment something clicked.

He sniffled and looked up into Martha’s deep brown-almost black eyes.

This couple had taken him in, provided for him, given him the space he needed, and expected nothing in return. They were willing to pay for a therapist, make his favorite childhood food, buy gifts, throw a party, they did all those things for him. Went through all that trouble solely for the purpose of making him happy.

“Martha…” He croaked out. “Why…?”

She looked at him, a puzzled expression apparent on her face. “Why, what? I don’t understand.”

Alex sniffled again. “Why are you so nice to me? Why do you do these wonderful things I don’t deserve?”

Martha’s face softened, compassion and sadness filling the smile that graced her features. “Isn’t it obvious, Alex?” She asked. “It’s because we love you.”

Alex felt himself crumble. Love wasn’t something he had since his mother was still alive. The feeling in his chest built up. It took him a second to realize, the love they felt toward him he returned. He cried, wailing with happiness, and sadness all at the same time. He collapsed into Martha’s arms. George and Lafayette rushed over. They joined the embrace, Lafayette whispering loving reassurances, George wrapping his arms around the other three to the best of his ability.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations in order:  
> "That’s not why I’m here. Are you okay? I heard a lot of shouts and you stormed off so suddenly, so I wanted to check on you."  
> "I’m fine, it’s nothing."  
> "It’s obviously not nothing, little Alex. You can talk to me, I promise not to tell anyone."  
> "Okay..."  
> "So, what happened?"  
> "George and Martha… they think I need to see a therapist."  
> "That’s a good thing, isn’t it? They are trying to help you, are they not?"  
> "I don’t need help, though. I’ve been doing just fine on my own."  
> "Alex, you have nightmares that make you scream, and you flinch if someone touches you, or if there’s a loud sound. I would hardly call that 'Just Fine'."  
> "They aren’t trying to say you can’t handle it. You can, and you have. However, you’ve dealt with everything alone and eventually it will be too much to handle all by yourself. I think it’s been too much for a while now."  
> "But-"  
> "I know you don’t feel that way, all I’m saying, maybe a little help isn’t such a bad thing. We all need help sometimes."  
> "Just give it a try at least, oui?"


	29. Therapist For The Broken (PLEASE READ THE NOTES)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not a lot happening this chapter, mostly just casual things. Alex makes a pretty big step toward Washington.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going on hiatus for a while, I promise it won't be too long. I'm having a bit of a block with the next chapter and need to take some time to think through how I want the next piece of the story to go.

George had spent the majority of his Saturday morning looking through lists of therapists. He wanted to find the perfect match for Alex; someone he could open up to and feel comfortable, all the while having the skills to heal him get a handle on his demons.

“Do you think Alex would prefer a woman?” George asked, looking up from his laptop at Martha who was sitting across at her desk. “He warmed up to you way faster than he did with me, so I wasn’t sure.”

“Hmmm… I mean probably. Why don’t you ask him?” Martha replied, keeping her eyes on the monitor. She continued to clack her fingers against the keys without missing a beat.

“I’ve thought about it, but I don’t want to overwhelm him. When we brought up therapy in the first place, it didn’t go all that great.” George squinted at his screen, reading the information on another therapist.

“George, we can’t just tip toe around him for fear of making him upset again. That never helps anyone. Also, would you please stop being so stubborn and wear your reading glasses?” Martha stopped her typing and gave her husband a frustrated glance.

“They make me look _old…_ ” George grumbled in response.

“Dear, you are old. Just wear the glasses for crying out loud! You look like you’re holding in a fart.” Martha teased with a grin.

George chuckled at that. “Yes, love.” He grabbed his glasses from the top drawer of his desk and slipped them on. “I’m still not sure which therapist to pick.” He said scrolling through the list once again.

“Well, Alex is in the family room. Go ask him to take a look with you.” Martha went back to clacking her fingers across the keys.

George sighed and pulled the glasses off his face. “Yeah, okay, fine.” He got up from his chair and made his way around his desk.

 

* * *

 

Alex was sitting with Lafayette and his friends on the leather couch, snacks sprawled out on the coffee table in front of them. They had Hercules playing on the T.V. when Mr. Washington walked in.

“Alex, I need your help with something. Can you come with me, please? It’ll only take a second.” The man requested, leaning against the doorframe.

“Yes, sir.” Alex pushed the crocheted blanket off his lap and shivered at the absence of warmth. He crossed his arms tightly in hopes to fight the cold. It had been raining that day, so it was quite cold out. The heater was on, but it didn’t do much to warm that big house.

Alex followed Mr. Washington as he retreated back into the office. “So, I’ve been looking at therapists. I wanted to pick the right one for you, but I think would do a better job at that than I would.” George said seating himself in his swivel chair. “Come here.” He said waving Alex over.

Alex followed the instructions and circled around to the other side of the desk. Truth be told, he was still a bit on the fence with seeing a therapist. “How do I pick?” He asked.

“Well, I thought we would start off with the gender.” George started clicking his mouse, bringing up the browser. “Would you feel more comfortable with a man or a woman?”

Alex pictured himself being alone in a room with an unfamiliar man. He internally cringed at the thought. “Woman…” he responded quickly.

“I thought so, just wanted to make sure.” George made a few more clicks. “If that’s the case, I had these five in mind. I wanted to see what you thought of them.” George turned the laptop to face Alex.

Alex scanned over the specs of each therapist. He didn’t like the way the first two faces looked. Something in their eyes rubbed him the wrong way. The third didn’t seem too bad, so he kept her in mind. He skimmed through the fourth therapist. There, at the bottom of the list, the words ‘LGBT issues’ caught his eye. He looked at her picture; she was young. Not much older than twenty-five it looked like. Her eyes were kind, and reminded him of the way his mother’s would look when she saw him.

“I like her…” Alex said, pointing to the picture. He was careful not to touch the screen, hovering the finger at least an inch away.

George smile in satisfaction. “Perfect! I will set up an appointment with her, and get back to you on when you will have your first appointment.” George turned the laptop back to himself and began clicking away. “Go ahead and go back to your movie, I’ll take it from here.”

Alex nodded and circled back around the desk to leave. He stopped at the doorway, before turning around to look back at Mr. Washington. “Thank you for everything, George.” He said with a small smile. He tried his best not to show any distaste for letting the name roll off his tongue for the first time in years.

Martha and George both stopped and looked up at Alex in surprise. “You’re very welcome, my boy.” George said, unable to keep the ecstatic grin from his lips.

Alex smiled back, hoping to god it was convincing. He was fine. It definitely didn’t hurt. He turned back to the hall and continued on his way to the family room. When he got in there, he realized the movie had been paused at the scene it was at when he left.

“Alex! I am so glad you have returned! We can play the movie now, Herc!” Lafayette shouted excitedly.

“Sweet!” Hercules hit a button on the remote and the movie resumed.

Alex hurried back over to his spot on the couch and replaced the blanket to its spot on his lap. “Sorry for making you wait.” He grabbed the chips from the table.

“No worries, bro. You’re the only one who hasn’t seen it, so its only natural that we paused it.” John reached a hand into the bag of chips on Alex’s lap. “So what did George want?”

Alex wanted to tell John, but he wasn’t very comfortable with admitting he was picking out a therapist. “It was nothing.” He said instead. He didn’t want John to worry or worse, think he’s screwed up in the head. Broken people needed therapists, and if John knew he needed one, he might not want to be around Alex anymore.

“Oh… okay.” John wasn’t oblivious. He caught the fragment of restraint in Alex’s words. He didn’t, however, want to press his luck and make Alex feel like he had to share something personal, so he let it go. “Isn’t it weird to think that Ariel and Hercules are cousins?” He asked in order to change the subject for Alex’s sake.

“Cousins? How on earth are they cousins?” Hercules said through in between bites of his fudge pop.

“Well, Poseidon and Zeus are brothers, right? King Triton is Poseidon’s son in Greek mythology which makes him Hercules’ first cousin, and Ariel his second cousin.” John explained, quite proud of himself for having known this while his friends didn’t.

“Yeah, Okay, that makes sense, but Ariel is a mermaid and Hercules’ story takes place in Ancient Greece. It’s a whole different era, man.”argued Hercules. “There’s no way they know each other.”

“Yeah but-“

“Guys, stop with the talking! I am trying to watch the movie!” Lafayette interjected.

John pouted and stuffed his face with a handful of chips.

“If it’s anything, I think they probably know each other.” Alex said leaning in to whisper to John.

“Yeah? How so?” John asked curiously, matching the volume.

“Well, Hercules is a god. So the guy is immortal. So, even if he is way older than her, that fixes the timeline issue. As for the fact that she’s a mermaid, she becomes a human in the end anyway. I’m sure King Triton would want his daughters to meet their other family, I mean, he’s all about family. The guy has seven daughters. I don’t think it’s too out of character for him to introduce Hercules to his cousins. Plus, Hercules has Pegasus so he can hover over the water, or they could always just hang out in a lagoon somewhere.”

Alex miraculously got it all out in one breath, and honestly, John was blown away. “You came up with that whole argument in like, what, the two minutes we were talking about it?” John had a dopey but surprised grin plastered across his face.

Alex loved the grin; the way it curled up higher on the right, how it made the skin around his eyes crinkle up a bit, how he seemed ever-so-slightly starry-eyed as he peered back into Alex's own. “Yeah..?” He replied meekly, reddish-pink beginning to color his cheeks.

If it were possible for John’s eyes to become even more starry than they already were, it definitely would have happened. “Dude, that’s so cool! Your brain is like, wicked fast!” John practically shouted with excitement.

“It’s not that impressive…” Alex blushed even more.

“What is so cool that you have to keep talking over the movie? Tu me fatigues!” Lafayette huffed and paused the movie again.

“Sorry Laf.” Alex said at the same time John stated loudly “shush, Laf! You have to hear Alex’s theory! I know how much you love Disney discourse!”

Lafayette quirked a brow. “I’m listening?”

Alex repeated his argument and slowly the discomfort from earlier complete disappeared from his mind.

The four teens continued tho movie after a small debate over Alex’s theory. Once the movie came to an end, the group headed upstairs after clearing the snacks away. As they all sat on Lafayette's floor, collections of cards from a deck in each of their hands, Something popped into Alex's mind. A thought; and a rather dark one at that.   
 _I wish I could be like Hercules and bring my mama back._ He shook the though away, and tried to focus on the game. There was no point in letting himself get carried away with those kinds of thoughts right now. So, he put all his focus on figuring out the rules of the stupid game his friends seemed to love so much.

 

* * *

 

As the door to the office shut, Martha and George locked eyes. George began tearing up a bit, the smile still gracing his features. “He said _my name…!”_

Martha smiled softly, a little worry hidden behind it. “I heard.” She said, feeling a bit happy herself. “I hope he didn’t feel like he was expected to do that.”

“Still, _he said it!_ This is the first time he didn’t call me _sir!”_ George chuckled, but went back to his task. “This is _really big_ for him. I’m _so_ proud right now, I could **die!** ”

Martha beamed at the sight of George’s dramatic statement. “Still, I’m going to check on him later; I just want to make sure it didn’t rattle him too much.”

George nodded in response. “I think you should. Can’t be too careful.”

“Exactly.” Martha agreed.

The two adults went back to their computers, taking silent delight in what had transpired just moments ago.


	30. Pleasure To Meet You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Thanksgiving, the Washington's plus Alex go to visit the Schuyler's for the day. Eliza is formally introduced.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M BACK GUYS!!! sorry for the hiatus! I finally got my mojo back!

Alex was frustrated. He’d spent the better part of the day desperately trying to study in hopes of getting ahead in his worst subject; math. It wasn’t that he was particularly terrible at it, in fact, he excelled way beyond his classmates did. No, the issue was that he had been staring at the same page for the last two hours and nothing seemed to stick. Slowly over the course of his attempts at retaining something, anything, he grew more and more agitated. A knock on his bedroom door broke him from his concentration, or lack there of.

“Mon petite lion! Are you in there?”

Alex’s agitation lessened a bit at the French teens voice. Maybe a good distraction could be what he needed right now, so he lifted himself from the desk chair and trekked over to the door. Once open, a very cheerful Lafayette stood before him.

“Hey, Laf. What’s up?” Alex asked leaning against the frame.

“We have plans for thanksgiving dinner, remember?” Lafayette glanced at the books and papers strewn across the desk and quirked a brow. “Were you in the middle of studying?”

“Yeah, but it’s fine. I was just about to finish up.” Alex retreated back to his room, letting the door hang open for Lafayette to follow.

“Are you sure, mon ami? You do not have to come if you wish to study more.” Lafayette said as he watched Alex pack up his work back into the backpack resting on the floor.

“No, it’s okay. I wasn’t getting much done anyway.” Alex zipped up the bag and stood, motioning for Lafayette to lead the way. “So where are we going?”

“The Schuyler family invited us over for thanksgiving.” The two trotted down the steps, down the hall, and into the foyer. “We always spend the holidays with them. It has been a tradition for as long as I know.”

“The Schuylers?” That name had Alex wracking it’s brain for the source of its strange sense of familiarity.

“Oh! Je suis désolé, mon lion. You do not know them. Philip and Michelle are old friends from high school for Martha. They have three daughters who are almost sisters to me.” Lafayette flopped down on the bench to the left of the door and began picking out what shoes to wear. As they both began to get their footwear in order, Martha and George turned in from the other hallway looking dressed to the nines. George was wearing a burgundy suit with a light pink tie. Martha had a matching burgundy dress that hugged her figure nicely in all the right spots.

“Alex, Gilbert.” George greeted with a smile.

“Bonjour, mon Père! We are ready to leave!” Lafayette said hopping up from the bench.

Alex stood and stepped to stand next to Lafayette. He took in the Washington’s appearance and quietly wondered if he was supposed to dress up too, but quickly dismissed the thought seeing as Lafayette was dressed casually as well.

“Good, because we are very late. George here held us up on account of not being able to decide what tie to wear.” Martha said teasingly.

George rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “I couldn’t decide! I wasn’t sure if salmon or baby pink went better.”

“Mon Père, salmon was obviously the wrong choice.” Lafayette stated matter-of-factly. “You chose the right one.”

George chuckled as he pried the door open. Alex shivered a bit at the cold wind blowing it’s way into the warm house. “Let’s get going before we miss dinner completely.”

 

* * *

 

When they arrived at the Schuyler house, Alex couldn’t help but feel dread. He had never spent thanksgiving with a family that gave food so willingly, and it worried him to think he might end up eating too much. A repeat of that first dinner with the Washington’s was the last thing he wanted.

Once out of the car, Alex zipped his jacket and folded his arms in an attempt to keep himself warm. He knew it was futile; He was always cold no matter what he did. Still, he guessed there was no harm in trying.

A less-than-subtle knock on the door later, courtesy of Martha; shuffling could be heard on the other side, accompanied by several voices loudly arguing indistinctly. With a swish of the opening door, Alex took in the sight of three girls standing just inside. Eliza he recognized immediately, but it wasn’t until he recognized the tallest girl that the familiarity behind the name _Schuyler,_ suddenly made sense. _She’s the girl from the diner! What was her name again..?_  Alex thought to himself.

“Hey!” Eliza called out in surprise, staring straight at Alex.

All eyes darted to him, making confused and curious faces. Alex shifted uncomfortably where he stood. His face had gone red, suddenly realizing how dumb he was to completely miss the fact that _Eliza would be here._

“Hey…” he replied sheepishly.

“So you two have met already, Liza?” Angelica piped up.

Alex was sure Eliza would rat him out as some weird stalker, but instead, she just smiled and said: “I guess you could say that.”

The group didn’t seem any less curious, but did nothing to further the topic. “Well, let's get you guys out of the cold. Food’s ready; we were just waiting on you to show up!” Angelica pulled her younger sisters aside to let everyone in.

Once inside, coats hung up on the rack, and shoes placed next to it, the adults made their way into the dining room, already chatting up a storm.

Lafayette stepped next to Alex and poked him gently. Alex whipped his head around and visibly relaxed when he saw it was just his foster brother.

“I did not know you knew Eliza?” He inquired.

Alex pursed his lips at that. “Sort of.” He responded hoping the other teen wouldn’t press further.

Lafayette seemed oblivious to this, though. “Sort of?” He asked as to get more information.

“We’ve never actually… talked.” Alex confessed.

“Whaaat?! Then what was that about?”

Alex really didn’t want to answer that. Unfortunately, he didn’t have to. Eliza approached them and offered an explanation. “He’s been practically following me for like, two weeks.” She said with a smirk. “Every time I see him, he looks like he’s going to say something, but always runs away.”

Lafayette chuckled. “That does sound like something you would do, mon petite.”

Alex blushed furiously. “I just wanted to ask about debate club..! I didn’t mean to-“ Alex’s words broke off at the sound of Angelica giggling as she entered the room.

“Debate club?” She asked incredulously.

Alex narrowed his eyes at her, frowning slightly. “Yes. Debate club.” He snapped defensively. Surely, she was making fun of him for enjoying diplomatic studies such as debate. He knew they were odd interests, or at the very least uncommon. Most teens his age weren’t interest in things like that.

When Angelica laughed again, it did nothing to ease his increasing defensiveness. “Well, I think I know someone Thomas can finally get along with. Right Laf?”

Alex noticed Lafayette laughing along with Angelica and deflated a smidge. He couldn’t help feel irritated at himself for being to quick to cause trouble. He had to play nice, pretend nothing could bother him. He couldn’t risk being put in another group home.

“Angie, no. Trust me, you _do not_ want to see Alex and Thomas together.” Lafayette got out between his dying down chuckles.

“Oh? Pray tell. Did Thomas piss him off with his skewed opinions?”

A small panic washed over Alex. He already felt exceedingly guilty over his fight with Thomas; He really didn’t want to let Angelica in on it. Just another thing she could make fun of him for. He quickly tugged Lafayette by the sleeve. Lafayette looked down at him, care-free grin still plastered on his face. The moment he caught Alex’s pleading expression, the smile fell. He understood Alex without any words having to be exchanged between the two.

Lafayette turned back to Angelica after a quick nod to Alex. “It is not my place to say, but we will leave it at that they do not get along.” Lafayette explained, hoping it was enough for Angelica not to question it.

Angelica, being quite quick to catch on to unsaid words, nodded with understanding. It was obvious to her that Alex felt some sort of shame over whatever ordeal Lafayette had joked in reference to.

“Okay.” She said, giving a look to her sister, in hopes that she understood as well. “How about we go get some food now?” She suggested instead.

Lafayette smiled, thankful his friend seemed to be aware of his intentions. “Oui, I think that is a good idea.”

Eliza couldn’t help but feel like she was missing something, but let it go seeing as how the others didn’t seem to feel the same way.

The four joined back up with the rest in the dining room.


	31. The First Session

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex prepares himself for his first session in therapy.

It’s been one month since the Washington’s first suggested to Alex that he may need a therapist. With Christmas around the corner, it had been a challenge to set up the appointment so close to the holiday. George insisted Alex go as soon as possible, despite the boy’s protests that he could wait until after the new year when things would settle down. Today however, was the day of his first appointment. Despite the overwhelming trepidation he felt bubbling up inside him, there was a small fragment of excitement underneath it all.

“Are you **sure** we can’t reschedule? I don’t want to add unnecessary stress on you guys…” Alex asked, sitting down at the table for breakfast as the household did every morning. He started grabbing food and filling his plate just enough to fill himself up. It still surprised him on occasion, getting a seemingly unending supply of food. He had grown somewhat used to it by now, secretly dreading the day when they would cut the supply off. For now, he allowed himself to enjoy whatever food he could get.

“Alex, I’ve told you. This is not up for discussion. This was the earliest date we could procure. Martha and I are not going to keep you from therapy longer than we need to.” George argued back, taking a bite of eggs after he finished.

Alex pouted a bit as he ate, listening to George speak.

“George is right, sweetie. Honestly, having to wait a whole month is bad enough.” Martha chimed in. She was still in her nightgown and fuzzy hello kitty pajama bottoms. She had volunteered to stay home and take Alex to his appointment so George could focus on his work. There was a rather troublesome bill being proposed soon, and George had his hands tied trying his best to fight it.

Alex sighed through his mouthful of toast.

“I know you feel bad, honey. You just have to trust that we can handle a little extra stress.” Martha smiled warmly at him. It had taken Alex a while to get over how much his heart would ache every time he saw such a kind expression that reminded him so much of his mother.

Alex smiled faintly in return and dug into his eggs.

Lafayette, who had been drowsily chowing down on food himself, decided to join the conversation at this point. “Alex, at least you do not have to go to school.” He grumbled, his cheeks expanded from the food inside.

“Gilbert, dear, do I need to remind you about talking with your mouth full?” Martha warned.

Lafayette shook his head, Rolling his eyes a bit. “Non, mère. I know.”

Alex chuckled at Lafayette’s very sleepy sass. Before long, everyone had finished up with their breakfast, and were on their way to face whatever the day had in store.

 

It was when the room had emptied, that Alex snagged a packaged brownie from the table. Anyone had yet to notice any missing food. Back up in his room, he stashed it away with the others in the bottom drawer of his dresser. So far he was able to collect a small array of emergency food just in case things went sour again, as it always inevitably did. It was a habit he picked up during his second, or maybe third home? He couldn’t remember anymore. It seemed like a lifetime ago at this point, and with every passing day it began to fade even more. Alex knew he most likely didn’t need to store food away. George and Martha had made sure he always had food available. Hell, they practically had to drill it in him that he would never be forced to eat, nor starved. Still, having the stash helped ease his sense of impending doom. At least, this way, if that impending doom ever did come, he would be prepared.

Alex slide the drawer closed, and opened another to get a clean shirt out. It look a second to pick one out, but quickly decided on the navy blue sweater Hercules had got him.

Once he was dressed, DC shoes on and everything, he made his way back downstairs.

 

* * *

 

Arriving at the clinic proved to be even more nerve wracking than the anticipative drive there. He was sat in the waiting room for a good fifteen minutes next to Martha whom filled out his paperwork. His knee bounced absentmindedly, fingers picking at the hem of his sweater.

“I need your help answering these ones, hun.” Martha said handing the clipboard over to him.

Alex continued to bounce his knee as he filled out each question. The knee stopped when he got to a particular one that he wasn’t sure how to answer.

_Circle one of the following: In the past two weeks, how often do you feel dissatisfied with your life?_

Alex chewed his lip, the cogs turning in his head before circling _most days_.

 _In the past two weeks, have you had thoughts of harming yourself or others?_  Alex gulped. What if Martha looked at his answers? What would she think? Would she tell anyone he hurt himself? Lafayette already knew, but it was a totally different case for his foster parents, let alone an adult, know how he would punish himself. They’d probably send him away, label him a basket case. He quickly circled _No_  and moved onto the next question.

_Have you ever been a victim of abuse? (If yes: please specify below.)_

Alex wasn’t sure what to write. Physical, emotional, and verbal, sure. It was abuse even if he deserved it. Sexual abuse, he wasn’t so sure about. He could argue a thousand reasons why he didn’t consider it abuse. Mr. and Mrs. Washington had insisted it was abuse, but he just couldn't accept that. He scribbled down the other two without a second thought more. The rest of the questions were relatively easy, most having to do with family medical history. The moment he finished, he handed he clipboard back to Mrs. Washington nervously. He was quite surprised when she made no effort to look over his answers. She sat back down next to him, smiling gently as she did.

A few more minutes went by before a heavy set woman with bright blond curls opened the door to the back. “Alexander?” She called out.

“He prefers Alex.” Martha corrected.

The woman smiled and motioned for him to follow. “Alex, my bad. Are you ready?”

Alex stood and looked back at Martha as if to ask for permission. His heart was racing a bit, unsure what to expect. Martha gave a small nod. “I’ll be out here the whole time.” She assured.

Alex nodded in return and followed the woman through the door. They walked down the hall until they reached a room on the left at the end. She opened it and let Alex walk in. He glanced around the room, taking in the small space filled with nothing but a love seat, a desk, and a computer.

“The counselor will be in shortly.” The woman said before closing the door.


	32. A Heartful of Heather

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The long awaited therapy session finally happens and Alex does his best not to open up TOO much. (Side note: this is actually based on my own experience with therapy. Also, I totally did not throw myself in as the counselor... no not at all...)

Waiting for the counselor was **agony.** The dead quiet of the room occupied only by the ticking from a clock hanging above the desk left Alex nervously fiddling his jacket. Alex never liked the quiet. The growing silence made him uncomfortable to say the least. Just as he started to grow restless in the eerily silent room, the door swung open to reveal the woman he recognized from the website that George showed him about a month ago. Her dark purple hair seemed almost black against her ivory skin. She couldn’t have been older than thirty judging from her casual-but-fashionable black and white polka dot dress and youthful looking face. The woman darted her blue eyes straight to him as she entered the room.

“Hello, Alex. My name is Heather.” She said closing the door and seating herself at the desk, placing some papers out in front of her from the clipboard she had cradled in the crook of her elbow. “So, as far as I know, this is your first session ever, am I correct?”

Alex nodded.

“Alright.” She scribbled something down on one of the sheets. “Well, to start off, this session is mostly going to be us laying down the ground work. I’ll just be collecting information about your history, what you’ve been through, and the people in your life, things like that. Once I feel like I’ve learned enough about you, then we’ll begin to work on your issues. Does that sound okay?”

Alex nodded again, not exactly sure if he was supposed to say anything yet.

“If it’s okay, I’d like to start with your home life. Who do live with?” Heather said, readying her pen.

“My foster parents.” He replied.

“Okay, so you’re a foster kid? How long have you been in the system?”

Alex had to think about that for a moment. “Um… I don’t know. About seven years I think? It’ll be eight next May.”

Heather began writing. “Okay, and how would you say that’s gone for you?”

“Okay, I guess.” He replied, shrugging.

“I’m guessing you’ve had a few bad homes? It’s pretty common knowledge that the system isn’t the greatest.”

“Yeah.”

She continued writing before she paused to speak again. “And what about now? Do you like the home your in?”

Alex nodded. “They’re really nice to me.”

“That’s really good to hear. Do you have any foster siblings living with you?”

“Yes. A brother.”

“I see, and what about him? Is he nice to you too?”

Alex smiled softly. “Yeah. We get along well.”

“That’s good.” She wrote something down really quick before picking the conversation back up. “Now, how many homes have you been in?”

Alex shifted a bit, he brought his hands up to count his fingers before bringing them back down with a shake of his head. “I’m not sure; Maybe ten?”

“That’s a good amount. You probably had to switch schools quite a bit, am I right?”

Alex nodded.

“What about right now? Did you have to switch schools again?”

Another nod.

“That’s probably pretty rough for you. Have you made any friends at least?”

“Yeah.” Alex felt a fond smile creep in. “They are my foster brother’s friends.” He explained.

“Well, that’s certainly good to hear.” She scribbled down a few extra notes. “So, If it’s alright with you, I would like to get back to being in the foster care. You said you had some bad experiences?”

Alex glanced to the side. “Yeah.” He began to pick at the hem of his sweater.

“Do you feel comfortable sharing any of those experiences?”

Alex shrugged. He didn’t particularly enjoy talking about it, nor did he really want to. It had nothing to do with comfortability.

“Okay, we don’t have to talk about that yet if you’d rather not. How about we talk about what happened before that? Did you ever know your birth parents?”

“Yeah. I don’t really remember my Papa, though. It was just my Mama and I.”

“What was your home life like with her?”

Alex’s shoulders slumped a bit at the memory of his mother and the things she endured to keep them afloat. “We were really poor, but my Mama tried really hard to not let me know it.”

“Sounds like you really loved her.” Another nod from Alex prompted her to continue. “So what changed? How come you went into the system?”

This was the question that got Alex to tense. His shoulders visibly stiffened and a lump formed in his throat. “She’s dead…”

Heather’s brows furrowed with pity. “I’m so sorry to hear that. Can I ask how she died? You don’t have to answer.”

“We got sick, and I got better but…” Alex forced the un-shed tears back.The memory of his mother clutching his body close to hers as she wasted away. It hurt. “I was so sick I didn’t know she had-“ Alex sucked in a strangled breath. His hands began to tremble slightly causing him to ball them into fists to hide the tremors. “We were sick and she was holding me when-“ he gulped down the lump in his throat.

“This seems like it was very hard for you to deal with all on your own. After she passed away, did you get set up with a relative perhaps?”

Alex nodded, the lump beginning to ease up just slightly. “Yeah, my cousin.” He said digging his fists deep into his pocket.

“I’m guessing that didn’t go very well?”

Alex shook his head. Images of his cousin Peter dangling lifelessly from a rope flooded his mind. He was still angry the man had picked Alex’s birthday to end his pathetic life. It took every ounce of his will to push the image out as quickly as it appeared.

“How old were you at the time?” The counselor, Heather, inquired with a curious tilt of the head.

“I lived with him until my tenth birthday. He um… he killed himself.”  The man had always been cruel to him, and Alex felt nothing but anger over his death.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry to hear you had to witness that.” Alex shrugged, but could feel the pity emanating off the woman’s gaze. “Well, I hate to cut you off from your story, but we are just about out of time. Would you like to set up another appointment? Based off what you told me, I think it could really do you some good to come back.”

Alex nodded, a little out of it, and not really processing her words too well.

“Well, I do have an opening for just about-“ the rest of Heather’s words seem to blur together. Alex had barely realized he had left the room when Martha guided him from the office to her car.

“How did it go?” She asked, worrying tickling her tone.

Alex said nothing, just shrugged and slumped against the car door. He wondered if going to see this woman was really worth feeling like crap over everything he had to relive. It was bad enough that he had been through it once.


	33. The Night Before Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Mulligan kids, as well as John comes over to share the holiday with the Washington family. Also: John and Alex have a small moment

Christmas Eve arrived, and Alex had felt entirely uncomfortable that the Washington’s had given him money- too much, by his standards- to buy gifts for his friends about a week back. Alex and Lafayette took a trip down to the mall a few days prior, and Alex hated to admit it, but he was rather excited to hand out the gifts he had purchased. A professional quality drawing pad and pencils to match for John; A few beanies for Hercules, because honestly, he needed a new one; and for Lafayette, some shirts that seemed pretty gender neutral- at least in Alex’s opinion they were. He just hoped that opinion was correct.

What he wasn’t excited for, was the heaping pile of presents he was no doubt going to receive. It wasn’t that he didn’t want them, no quite the opposite. He wanted the gifts, and that was the problem. Since when had he become so selfish? This cushion-y life was spoiling him and that was terrifying. One part of him wanted to punish himself for being so selfish. The other part told him that it was okay to want these things, to want people to spoil him.

“Mon petite lion, just so you know, John and Hercules will be over soon! They are staying the night for the holiday!” Lafayette rested an arm on Alex’s head. He was sitting at his desk, a book laid open in front of him.

Alex batted the arm away, swirling around in the chair to face his foster brother. “How come they’re staying here? Wouldn’t they rather be with their families?” Alex couldn’t imagine anyone with a family actually wanting to be anywhere else other than home on Christmas.

“John and his father have a… how you say, _strained relationship._ He does not like to spend the holidays being pulled around pour les apparitions publiques.” Lafayette took a seat on the bed to Alexander’s right. “He feels more at home here.”

Alex bobbed his head absentmindedly. From what he had researched, John’s father was a very conservative Christian right-wing Senator. Alex knew John was gay and that probably put a surplus of strain on their parent-child relationship. “And Hercules? What about him? Doesn’t he have a lot of siblings?” He asked curiously.

Lafayette pursed his lips. He felt conflicted telling Alex of the financial burdens Hercules had piled up on his shoulders. “Let us just say, his family does not do as well as we do. Hercules and his siblings have come over for years so Martha and George can give them a good Christmas.”

Alex frowned at his lap. It made his heart ache knowing Hercules was most likely playing parent for his siblings. He wondered what his parents were like. Did they at least try to provide for their children? Or was the burden of Christmas placed on the Washington’s out of neglect? Whatever the case, Alex was sure it wasn’t a good idea to pry. After all, it was only fair considering he hated it when people did the same to him.

“What is on your mind, little one?” Lafayette asked, interrupting his thoughts.

Alex shook his head as if to dismiss the French teen’s question. “Nothing, it’s fine.” He swirled back around to face the book. “Just let me know when they get here.”

Lafayette nodded and stood from the bed, not mentioning the way Alex dismissed his worries. “John will be here first. Mère has to go get Hercules and his family, so it will take a while.” He started off towards the door.

“Wait.” Alex called swirling back around. “So, all his siblings will be here?”

Lafayette smiled nervously. _Does he not like children?_  He wondered. “Oui, that is correct.”

Alex hummed in response and tapped a finger on his thigh. “I didn’t get anything for them.” He stated worriedly. He would hate it if he made them feel left out.

Realization hit Lafayette that Alex did not in fact dislike children, he was worried about gifts! “Non, non, mon cher! They have plenty. Do not worry yourself.” Lafayette assured.

“But what if-“

“Non, trust me, they will not be upset.”

Alex tapped his thigh again. “Okay. If you insist.” Lafayette was the only person Alex could trust. Maybe not fully, but as close to it as he could get. If Lafayette said he shouldn’t worry, Alex was smart enough to listen. His foster brother had never given him a reason to doubt his advice, so he wasn’t about to stop listening.

Lafayette smiled at that. It wasn’t long ago that he would need to reassure Alex three or four times before the boy would accept his advice. It was nice to see Alex finally grow trustful of his words. “I will let you know when John gets here, d’accord?” He gave Alex a pat on the shoulder before exiting the room.

Alex went back to his book, ignoring the guilt hiding in the back of his mind. If Lafayette said it was okay, then it would be, and that was that.

 

* * *

 

Lafayette was parked on the couch in the den when John made it to the house. He didn’t even bother knocking, just walked straight through the door. Lafayette heard the door swing open and instantly knew who it was. He hopped excitedly off the couch and onto his feet, proceeding to run straight into the hall. They would have collided into one another if John hadn’t heard the giddy thumps of his footsteps.

“Mon ami!” Lafayette called out with a giddy tone before wrapping his friend up in a hug. “I am so happy you are here!” He pulled away and gripped the freckled boy’s shoulders. “Alex is upstairs!”

John grinned ear to ear. This would be his first official Christmas with Alex in the home, and that meant a great deal to him. “Let’s go get him; Herc said he should be here soon and they will need help getting their stuff out of the car.” The two headed upstairs to Alex’s room, and they chatted as they walked. When they arrived at the top of the steps, they didn’t even have to knock before Alex came barging out of the room. The Caribbean teen practically tripped as he did so, earning a laugh from both boys. Alex regained his composure with a slight blush on his cheeks. John loved it when Alex got embarrassed. If he was honest with himself, it was the cutest goddamn thing in the world to him.

“Careful, don’t want to break the door down!” John teased with his signature crooked smile.

“I had it under control.” Alex protested, embarrassment apparent in his expression.

“Sure, sure.” John’s smile still present on his face, he turned to Lafayette and gestured with his handfuls of gifts. “Where should I drop these? I don’t really want to cary them around the house.”

Lafayette chuckled and motioned for the two to follow. “The tree is up in the family room.” He explained while leading his friends back downstairs.

As Alex got to the bottom step, Lafayette just about to push open the door to the den, the sound of a car pulling up out front alerted the three that Martha was back. Lafayette slipped his hand off the knob and rushed down the hall to turn to corner and made a B-line for the front doors.

Small voices, giggles, and what sounded like a toddler crying could be heard from the other side. Lafayette swung one of the doors open and a small body crashed into him, wrapping little arms around his waist. “Laffy Taffy!” The small girl squeaked. John snickered at the nickname, and Alex hovered behind, feeling out of place suddenly.

The realization hit him that he didn’t know these kids at all.

“Jojo, you startled me!” Lafayette exclaimed as he pulled the girl out of the doorway to let the others in.

Alex watched as two more girls, a boy, and Hercules holding a crying child on his hip, file into the entry way.

“Sorry man, she’s been so excited to see you.” Hercules apologized whilst trying to calm his smallest sibling.

“Only because you haven’t seen us in forever!” The girl pulled away and folded her arms in a pout. “Am I chopped liver now that you got a real brother?”

Lafayette laughed and tousled her hair. “Non, you will always be like a sister to me.” The girl unfolded her arms, leaning into the touch. “Now come, I would like to introduce Alex to everyone!” Lafayette turned around to face Alex. “Mon petite, this is Johanna, she is nine.”

Johanna held out her palm, staring up at Alex. “You can call me Jojo!” She proclaimed quite confidently.

Alex gave a polite smile as he took the hand and gave it a gentle shake. “Alex.”

Johanna withdrew the hand and folded her arms once again. “Don’t go trying to steal him, you hear?” She warned jokingly.

Alex chuckled quietly, but didn’t reply. She reminded him of his younger self; confident, outspoken, and full of moxie. How long had it been, since that version of himself existed? Too many things in his life had changed him, he didn’t think it possible to ever return to that.

Hercules gestured to the remaining siblings. “Alex, these are my brothers and sisters. The oldest here, is Kathryn. She’s eleven.” He said pointing at a girl with long hair done up in small braids, wearing a purple shirt that said ‘BRAT’ in vivid rainbow letters. “You’ve already met Jojo, she’s the next one in line.” Hercules moved over to the boy standing on Lafayette’s right. “This is Allen. He’s a bit shy, but don’t let that fool you. He can be quite a handful.” Alex took note how much he looked like a miniature Hercules. “That’s Lea, she’s the second youngest.” He said gesturing to the other girl chatting with John as the group walked into the den. “And last, but not least, the very fussy toddler here, is Hugh.”

Martha approached Hercules and held her arms out to take the crying child from Hercules’ arms.

“Thanks, Martha.” He said handing him over.

Martha smiled. “Don’t mention it.” She said softly before taking off down the hall.

“Well, I think that’s everyone!” Hercules stated a bit winded. He circled back to the entry way, mumbling to himself as he did.

Alex watched him go, taking notice to his obviously flustered state. “Is he okay?” Alex asked, turning to John and Lafayette, a little worried.

Lafayette nodded adamantly. “Oui, he is always a little stressed this time of year.”

“Yeah, this ain’t nothing. Should have seen him last year! I swear the guy was on the brink of a heart attack pretty much the whole month.” John added with an almost nonchalantness to the statement.

“Oh.” Alex disliked seeing one of his friends so stress and not being able to do anything about it. He would ask what makes him so frantic, but that would feel like an invasion of privacy; So, he thought it best to drop the subject.

A quick look around the room made Alex realize everyone but him had busied themselves with friendly conversation and unpacking. He felt so out of place, just standing there, feeling like an intruder in his own home.

_Except, this isn’t my home. This is the Washington’s residence, I’m just being fostered by them._  He forcibly reminded himself. He hadn’t really thought about when he had begun to think of this place as home, but it definitely wasn’t something he was about to willingly accept. Feeling rather awkward, he decided to head up to his room. That way he could disconnect himself from the happenings around him. He figured it was best to cut himself off from feeling too comfortable. Just as he turned to leave, John piped up.

“Hey Alex, can you help me bring some of this stuff up to the spare room?” He asked in a way that made Alex not too sure if his friend had noticed his awkwardness.

Alex said nothing, only nodded and grabbed as many bags as he could. If John wanted him to help, then help he would.

 

* * *

  
  


Once upstairs, luggage in hand, John took the chance at privacy to confront Alex.

“Is something wrong?” He asked, completely unsure if he was crossing the line.

“Everything’s fine.” Alex replied a little too quickly. “Why do you ask?” He queried.

“It’s just…” John started. “You’ve been kind of awkwardly hanging to the side since Herc and his siblings got here. You looked kind of.. I don’t know… sad I guess?” He folded his arms.

Alex could tell John was a bit uncomfortable confronting Alex head on. He wished a thousand times over that he hadn’t caused his dear friend to worry so much. “I’m okay… I’m just not used to so many people, I guess.” A half truth was better than a full lie, right?

John nodded, a little worried that Alex wasn’t being totally honest. “Okay, well, if something is bothering you, you know you can talk to me, right?”

Alex noticed the way John looked at him with both hopeful and worried eyes, and he silently cursed himself for being so obvious with his discomfort. “Of course.” He half lied again. Logically, he knew he could trust John; That John wouldn’t judge him for his displacing feeling toward the home. However, actually reaching out, that was a whole other can of worms he wasn’t quite ready to open.

“I just want you to know, I’m here if you need me. Even if you want to just talk about dumb shit, I want to be there for you.” John looked at Alex in the eyes and Alex swore, there was some trace of love and adoration behind the gaze.

Alex nodded, still uncertain if he should open up. His head tilted down to the floor. “I…”

John kept his eyes locked on Alex, not daring to say anything. He didn’t want to scare his friend into silence.

“I just feel… I don’t know, out of place I guess?” Alex felt a lump forming in his throat; he gulped it down, anxiety churning in his stomach.

“What do you mean?” John asked curiously.

“It’s nothing, forget I said anything…” Alex turned to leave, but John grabbed his wrist. He unconsciously yanked his hand free and jumped back a bit. Once again, he knew John could be trusted, he knew John wouldn’t judge him and yet…

“Sorry, I-I shouldn’t have done that.” John apologized, fiddling with his hand. He sighed deeply, causing Alex to grow more anxious. Did he make John angry?

“I’m sorry…” Alex apologized before he even realized that he was saying anything.

“No, no, it’s okay, it was my fault!” John hurriedly explained, his hands waving dismissively.

“You’re not… mad?” Alex was a little more than confused. Why wasn’t John mad?

“No, of course not! Why on earth would I be mad?!” John’s volume unconsciously raised enough to make Alex jump again. “Shit, sorry.” He said in an almost hushed tone.

Alex couldn’t help but let out a chuckle. “It’s okay.” He assured with a small smile.

John returned the smile and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “So… we good?”

Alex gave a soft nod. “Yeah, we’re good.”

John’s mouth curled into that -adorable- charming crooked grin that Alex loved so much. “Cool.” John walked back out into the hall with Alex at his side. “So.. what made you feel out of place?” He asked, hoping his light-hearted way of talking would make Alex feel less apprehensive about the subject.

It worked, for the most part. Alex let out a small sigh before answering. “It’s just that… everyone knows each other so well. You heard Jojo, Lafayette hasn’t seen them much since I came around. I feel…”

“Like you’re imposing?” John finished.

“Yeah…”

John hummed in understanding. “Yeah, I felt like that too when I first met Laf. Him, Thomas, and Herc were like the three amigos. If there was such a thing as a fourth wheel, that’s definitely how I felt.” John explained while they made the journey down the steps to the first floor. “Try not to let it bother you. Everyone loves having you around, and if ever need convincing of that, just hit me up.” They stopped just in front the den.

“Hey, John?”

“Hm?”

Alex smiled brightly. “Thanks.” He entered the room, leaving John to stand, blushing, in the doorway.

God, he really needed to get this crush under control. Ignoring how hot his face felt, he rushed into the room to join everyone and sat down on the couch. He kept his eyes from wandering over to Alex as best as he could for the rest of the night.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one took a while to write, not going to lie. I ended up having to re-write half of it due to the fact that it ended up taking a path that I just honestly was having soooo much trouble with. I really prefer the way this one turned out. will update shortly!  
> Also: lammmssssss
> 
> translation:  
> pour les apparitions publiques = for public appearances


	34. His Nightmare Before Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex has a nightmare. More lams because I'm a huge weeb for that shit.

Everyone had gone to sleep for the night. That is, everyone aside from John. His mind was racing over the fact that Alex was asleep, on the floor, and had given up his bed for John to sleep on for the night; And boy did that make John feel guilty. He had tried profusely to have Alex let him take the floor, but again and again, Alex would assure him it was fine. As he laid there, guilt piling up on his chest, somewhere around three, he heard Alex begin to stir.

John sat up and peered over the edge down at him. The stirring worsened until whimpers began to make their way out. A nightmare, John guessed. He wondered what exactly plagued Alex’s life enough to make him jumpy and have nightmares. Whatever the case was, John didn’t have time to think about that too much right now. Alex was beginning to stir harder, his whimpers turning into small cries of _No_ , _Stop_ , and _I’m sorry_. John’s heart broke as each cry came. He slipped the covers off his body and crept down to Alex’s side on the floor.

“Hey, Alex, it’s okay. You’re safe.” He whispered in an attempt to wake his troubled friend. He placed a hand on Alex’s shoulder, and the boy jumped awake, scrambling away from the perceived threat.

“ **No!** ” He all but scream as his arms came up to shield his face.

John started slightly at the sudden movement, but quickly scooted forward to comfort Alex. “Hey! It’s okay! It’s just me! It’s okay, you’re safe!”

Alex scooted back in response, his breath wild and panic apparent. “J-John…?” He asked as if unsure of his surroundings.

“Yeah, it’s me, it’s John! It’s okay, you’re not in danger!” John assured.

Alex’s breath began to calm just a smidge and his panic was soon replaced with choked sobs.

“I’m sorry…” he forced out. He brought his knees in tight and wrapped his arms around his knees, squeezing tight.

“Hey, no, it’s okay! You’re okay!” John said as softly as he could manage. “You were having a bad dream, that’s all.” He watched helplessly as his friend continued to ball.

“I’m s-sorry, I d-didn’t mean to w-wake you…” Alex croaked out between sobs.

John frowned, sympathetic tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. “No, Alex, it’s okay! I wasn’t even asleep, you didn’t wake me up.”

Alex lifted his head just enough for John to see his eyes glistening with confusion, relief, and concern.

“I didn’t?” Alex asked, his sobs quieting into sniffles.

John smiled. “No, I was awake. I couldn’t sleep.” John scooted closer, then hesitated. “Can I come closer?”

Alex thought on it, then nodded. John shifted himself cautiously until he was at Alex’s side. “Do you have nightmares a lot?” He inquired, hoping to get Alex to open up again.

Alex said nothing, just nodded with a sniffle after.

“I get them too. My dad, he… he doesn’t know that I’m… you know. Usually I dream about him finding out, what his reaction might be like.” John’s expression softened with sadness. “Sometimes I wonder if he’ll disown me, or worse.”

“Worse..?” Alex tilted his head in curiosity, as well as concern.

“Conversion therapy… my dad is a big advocate for it.” John explained, the words like a personal poison on his lips.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.

A moment of awkward silence beat past.

“Can I ask what your dream was about?” John asked, hoping to move the topic off his own unfortunate situation.

Another moment of awkward silence.

“You don’t have to answer.” He assured.

Alex rested his chin on his knees, trying to collect the right words to use so as to not worry John too much. “I was being punished.” He decided on.

“Ah.” John said, really wishing Alex gave him more than that. However, he didn’t want to force Alex to talk. Things like this (or rather what he guessed it was) took time to surface, and He would need to be patient until Alex was ready.

“I… one of my previous foster fathers… he wasn’t a good person.” Alex offered. He could tell John was curious, hell, he would be too if he was in John’s shoes. John listened intently. “He um… he made me do things…”

“Oh, Alex… I’m so sorry to hear that…” John unintentionally leaned against Alex’s shoulder, but Alex didn’t mind. “Does George and Martha know?”

Alex nodded. “Yeah… so does Laf.” The tension in his body loosened a bit.

“How long?”

Alex quirked his head to the side. His brows curled up in confusion. “Huh?”

“How long was it going on?” John elaborated.

“Oh.” Alex’s head lowered back down to rest on his knees. “I don’t know… seven months, I think?”

“Wow. That’s a long time.” John folded his arms. “What happened?”

Alex felt his stomach flip. He really didn’t want to tell John just how filthy he really was. “What do you mean?” He asked, hoping John wasn’t really fishing for information.

“How did you get out?” John continued.

“Oh.” Alex thought for a moment, letting the events turn over in his mind. “One of my teachers. She noticed I had been especially jumpy, and when I came in with bruises and blood stained pants, she reported it.”

John made a sympathetic sound. “I’m so sorry, Alex. You really didn’t deserve to go through that.”

Alex shrugged. “That’s what everyone says but…” How could John really understand? He didn’t exactly know what Alex had done. Not that he could tell him.

“But..?” John asked expectantly, and eyebrow raised in question.

Alex shifted uncomfortably. “I didn’t… I didn’t say no. I… liked how it felt. It can’t exactly say I didn’t deserve it.”

John sighed loudly. “Alex, just because you didn’t verbally deny the advances, or absolutely hate the sensations of it all, doesn’t mean you deserved it.”

Alex’s face screwed back into a look of confusion. “But-“

“No, no buts. You have nightmares about it, you regret it, you still get jumpy even after years. You are not what you have been through, Alex.” John ranted, cutting Alex off from his protest. “If I went through that, you wouldn’t blame me, would you?”

What a frustrating question. Alex hated it when someone other than him was right. “… no…” he relented.

“Exactly. So stop blaming yourself for something that was not your fault.” John shifted himself to face Alex directly. “If there’s anyone that deserves to be blamed, it’s the man that hurt you.”

Alex nodded, still not fully convinced that he was innocent in the matter.

“Now that you mention it, what happened to him?” John queried.

Alex slumped against John’s shoulder. He was getting sleepy again. “He went on trial. I had to testify, but they let him go.”

“Oh yikes.” John’s face contorted into a pained expression. “That probably sucked, huh?”

“Yeah. It was bad.” Alex let out a big yawn and rested more into John’s shoulder.

“You know, I think you are incredibly strong. You go through a trial against your abuser, and he went free. That’s had to-“ John stopped talking once he realized Alex had fallen fast asleep, still perched on him. He smiled warmly down at his friend. He looked so peaceful like the world’s pain couldn’t bother him.

He wondered if Alex would ever look at him the way he looked at Alex. He shook the thought away as he too began to get sleepy. As John dozed off to the sound of his friend’s breathe, the world’s pain whisked away from his mind.


	35. Tis The Season

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part one comes to a close with Alex spending his first official Christmas with the Washington's. The overall experience of the day sparks a change in him that he hadn't expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS don't forget to check out the flashback piece in the series! It's called "Suffering Too Terrible To Name"

It was Christmas morning. This meant the house was awoken to the sound of wildly excited children shouting for everyone to get up. Jojo had burst straight into Lafayette’s room to wake her brother. A quick knock on Alex’s door startled the two awake from the sitting position they had taken no less than five hours prior.

“Alex! John! It is time for Christmas!” Lafayette shouted from the other side.

Alex sat up, only now realizing he had fallen asleep on John, and blearily rubbed his sleep crusted eyes. “Be there in a second!” Alex replied back, a low groggy groan followed after.

John sat up and stretched his arms and back. “Ah, shit. My back hurts.” He groaned, equally groggy.

“Sorry about that.” Alex chuckled. He felt bad for making John sleep that way, but had no regrets. It was arguably the most peaceful sleep he’d had since getting to the house.

John shrugged. “Eh. I’ve had worse.” He lifted himself onto his knees and reached for his bag resting against Alex’s dresser. He flipped the messenger bag open and pulled out a prescription bottle. He noticed Alex eyeing the bottle curiously. “Escitalopram Oxalate.” He explained. Alex quirked a brow and tilted his head as if to ask what the heck that was. “Anti-depressants; I used to take them at night, but it made it harder to wake up.” He explained further.

“Ah.” Alex hopped to his feet, made his way to the dresser, and started to grab some clothes when John gave him a weird look. “What?” Alex asked, a bit confused over the face.

“Nothing important. It’s just, everyone wears pajamas until after breakfast on Christmas. I guess I just didn’t expect you to get dressed so early, is all.”

“Oh…” Alex felt a bit silly. It wasn’t like this was his first Christmas ever, but he hadn’t exactly had a real one before.

 _What if I get down there and everyone is wearing normal clothes? Maybe he’s trying to trick me?_  The thought troubled him. He knew it was silly to suspect John of that. He’d been so kind to Alex so far; it wouldn’t make sense for him to turn around so suddenly and play tricks to get him in trouble. No, this was John. John was safe, he didn’t play tricks.

He pushed the clothes back into their spot and slid the drawer closed.

“It’s okay, you can change if you want; it’s not mandatory or anything.” John said, trying to make Alex feel better about his inexperience with tradition.

“No, it’s fine. I don’t want to be the only person with normal clothes on.” Alex assured, sliding the closet open. He grabbed a few presents he had stashed away on the top shelf and soon he had his arms full. One toppled off the side and onto the floor and a loud ‘THUMP’ accompanied it.

“Oh! Here.” John bent over and grabbed it. As he picked it open, he noticed how poorly wrapped it was, and on the front in what John recognized was Alex’s handwriting, ‘For: John’ was written slightly slanted. He inspected the package a bit. It was rectangular and had a bit of weight to it. ‘A book?’ John guessed. He had recieved numerous drawing pads over the years, and honestly with the way it was most certainly wrapped by Alex himself, it wasn’t very hard to guess. John was pretty sure he hadn’t wrapped many gifts before. A very small grin quirked at the edge of his lips.

Alex snatched the gift as best as he could from John. He blushed and turned away to face the door. As they made their way to the first floor, John felt his heart melt. Alex had taken the time to wrap each present himself! John was practically turning to mush at how adorable he found that. At this point it was impossible to keep the grin off his face.

 

* * *

 

After unloading the gifts onto the floor underneath the tree, Alex sat down in the empty spot between Hercules and Martha. Everyone had gathered in a circle, and the kids were practically bouncing with anticipation.

“Okay!” George said emerging from the hall into the family room with a Santa hat on. “Now that everyone is here, we can begin the festivities!” George walked around the circle and plopped down on the seat closest to the tree. He began handing out one present each until everyone, including himself, had a gift. “Now, this is Alex’s first Christmas, so let’s go over the rules. We go clockwise until there’s no presents left. Then I hand out more gifts, and we repeat until there’s nothing left to open.” George glanced around. “Who wants to go first?” He asked with a smile. The younger kids all raised their hands in unison. “Okay… then let’s start with… Alex! You go first.”

The kids all hugged in a shared pout. Alex felt bad taking the first gift, but he would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy it. He peeled the edges of the paper back, and saw a dark green sweater with ‘Non-Stop’ crocheted into it. He grinned down at it, knowing exactly who it must have come from. “Thank you, Herc.” He said glancing over at his friend as he placed it to his side.

“Do you like it?” Hercules asked hesitantly.

“Yes, it’s amazing. You made this yourself, right?”

Hercules blushed a bit. “Yeah.” He replied, a sheepish smile creeping onto his face.

“Okay, Martha, my love. It’s our turn.” George stated, motioning to his wife.

Everyone had taken a turn, and more gifts were passed around. A round or two later, Alex was bubbling with excitement. His gifts had been past out to each of their recipients, and John’s to him had made its way into his hands. As soon as George gave the signal, Alex tore into the paper without a second thought. A wooden box revealed itself, and Alex was a bit perplexed.

“Open the box!” John instructed, and Alex listened.

Inside was an ink and quill set, and my god. Alex was almost in tears. “Holy-“

“Language!” George warned, interrupting Alex before he could swear in front of a bunch of kids.

“Oh my gosh!”

John giggled at the reaction, and leaned forward. “I saw this online and I had to get it for you.” He explained.

Alex hugged the gift tight against his chest. “This is amazing!” He exclaimed, still in awe over the fact that he had a fricken quill set. “Thank you, seriously, this is so awesome.”

John’s face lit up the room, or at least that’s what Alex saw. John beamed back at him with a smile that contained the sun and stars. Alex wondered just how on earth his friend could have picked such a perfect gift.

It was Martha’s turn now, and when she ripped the paper apart, Alex could scarcely contain the smile spread wide on his face.

“Oh my!” She gasped. She held up a necklace that read ‘Mom’. She began to tear up, placing a hand on their chest. “Oh, Alex. This is beautiful!” She sniffled with a gentle wipe of her eye, hoping to not mess up her makeup. “How on earth did you afford this?” She asked incredulously.

The smile from Alex faltered just slightly. He didn’t want to tell her that the money they had been giving him for lunch at school, had gone toward the gift. “I uh… I had some money saved up.” He said in lieu of his real reason.

Martha didn’t seem to catch the meaning behind the words. She just smiled and rubbed a finger against the box. “Thank you.” She replied.

After letting all the kids go, it was George’s turn. Now, Alex was a bit worried over the gift. He hadn’t exactly got to know George well enough to get him something that Alex was sure about. He settled for something practical; a scarf. It’s log and blood orange hue seemed to satisfy his foster father enough, and Alex’s worries dispersed the moment he saw the grateful smile gracing the man’s features.

Hercules’ turn was next. He didn’t even wait for George’s signal before opening the gift. The stress the boy seemed to constantly hold the day before was melted away and replaced with unbridled joy. He immediately went for the ash toned beanie and slipped it on his head, leaving the rest sprawled across his lap. “Oh heck yeah!” He shouted, posing dramatically to show off. “There’s so many colors!” Hercules reached past John and Lafayette and tousled Alex’s sleep-distressed hair.

Alex blushed, kind of curling in under the touch, but he didn’t flinch at least. It’d taken him a while (with the help of his friends) to get used to the affection everyone had shown him. It surprised him that his brain registered the touch as an okay one. That it was safe; Especially because of the dream he had. Normally after a bad one, touches seemed impossible to endure. Sometimes he would feel like he was choking, other times he was able to manage. This had been the longest he’d ever gone without being touched in some way, whether ‘that way,’ or just the same old routine of bodily harm.

The idea of ‘safe touches’ seemed to turn on a bulb in Alex. If the second most physically intimidating person in his life at the moment, could touch him, mess up his already wild long brownish-black hair, then maybe he could be okay with other’s physical contact.

It donned on him that he had stared at Hercules for a solid minute after. As he came back to reality, he realized it was John’s turn. He hoped his friend hadn’t noticed the lingered gaze at the other boy, and when John said nothing, only got to tearing open the paper, Alex assumed he hadn’t.

But John had, and if it weren’t for the gift in his lap, giving him something to concentrate on, he would have been more concerned toward the swirling jealousy toward the interaction. He wanted so badly for Alex to linger just a minute too long while their eyes connected. He could have sworn it happened a few times, but that could very well be John projecting his own feelings. But when he saw Alex, completely entranced whilst looking on at the -not bad looking- friend they shared, John’s certainty about those moments, vanished instantaneously.

So, the gift in his lap. That’s where he would turn to. It was hand picked and wrapped by Alex, and that was what he would focus on, not his jealousy.

When the paper peeled back to reveal a high quality drawing pad, John was ecstatic. Sure, he’d been given plenty of them, enough that he wouldn’t need for more for a good few years. This was a special one, though. It was from Alex, and jealousy aside, John would cherish it forever.

He smiled wider than necessary, over compensating for the guilt of getting jealous. Alex didn’t seem to catch it, or at least he gave no sign that he did. He smiled back at John, adoration and joy filling his eyes in a way that always made John’s heart feel like Cupid had sent an arrow straight through.

“There’s more, flip it over.” Alex said with a knowing grin.

So John did; and on the other side, a pack of professional sketching pencils were taped to the back. John has much better quality pencils at home. He supposed that was the perk of being born to a wealthy man. John made a plan right then to only use these supplies until they ran out.

“Alex, I love it. I needed some new supplies, so this is literally perfect.”

Alex blushed, scratching the back of his head. “Sorry it’s not as good as a quill set.” He apologized, blushing harder.

“What?! Nah, man! This is great! It’s just what I wanted!” John assured him. He wasn’t about to let Alex beat himself up for not getting him something less predictable.

Alex blushed with a smile that made John’s heart positively soar.

George cleared his throat, interrupting the moment. “I believe it’s Gilbert’s turn now.” He stated, bringing their attention to the fact that there was more gifts to open.

Lafayette was bouncing in his seat. His over the top excitement oozing out as he basically massacred the wrapping.

Gripping at the shoulders of the first top, he held it up against his figure. The soft lavender long sleeve shirt seemed to be right up Lafayette’s alley, making Alex overjoyed that everyone had positive reactions to his gifts. When he grabbed the next one and did the same, the French teen couldn’t help but let out a chuckle at the words ‘#FABULOUS’ written across the dark red shirt.

“Mon Cher, this one is my favorite shirt now.” Lafayette stated matter-of-factly.

Everyone giggled at the proclamation, including Alex. “I’m not really sure if it beats your crop top sweater.” Alex joked.

Lafayette laughed, his head tilting back as he did so. “Oui, but that is not my shirt!” He reminded his friend.

“Yeah, am I ever getting that back?” John teased, joining into the banter.

“Most likely, you will not.” Lafayette quipped in return.

By the time the rest of the presents opened, the living room was a mess. Paper, both tissue and wrapping, scattered across the floor. George and Martha has set off to the kitchen to cook, meanwhile leaving the kids to tidy up. After the mess had been dealt with, Alex approached John.

“Did you open it?” He asked, getting a curious eyebrow lift from his friend in return. John went to the coffee table and picked up the drawing pad. He flipped the cover over, and a hand written poem displayed across the inside.

* * *

 

 **** _John, the boy with constellations in his skin._  
The stars shine through you, no matter what situation you’re in.  
You’ve shown me worlds I though too far away;  
So fill this book with your universe, and have a very Merry Christmas Day.  


* * *

  
  
  
  
John closed the book, placing it back on the table, and rushed to Alex. He wrapped his arms around his friend, embracing him more lovingly than he’d ever done before. Alex welcomed the hug. He wasn’t sure if it was the overwhelming peace the holiday seemed to bring, but when he felt John’s arms bracing him, he didn’t flinch, shy away, or even feel uncomfortable. He leaned into it, actually, hugging back tightly.

When they pulled apart, John glanced back at the book. “You wrote that yourself?” John asked incredulously. He knew Alex was talented with words, but holy hell did he love that.

Alex shrugged, unable to keep from smiling. “Yeah, I just kind of went for it.”

John smiled softly. “It’s great.”

Alex felt something in him grow, sharing a smile with his friend. A shift, perhaps, in his perception.

Maybe he had it rough before, but being here among people that cherished him so deeply, made Alex realize something.

The continuing peace of the home wasn’t guaranteed. Even so, he could be happy while he was here; He could be loved, and safe, and that sparked a change in him that he hoped wouldn’t fade. He wanted to be open to love and trust as freely as he once did. The fire in him was ignited once more, and he’d sooner fight to keep it, than let it be put out again.


End file.
